Little Galaxy
by QueenOfCombat
Summary: You think the last place where you find someone is rehab? But it's the place where you need someone else the most. For Braeden and Randy rehab becomes a little galaxy all on its own. But there's still a world outside of rehab. Collision unavoidable, especially when you don't know that you have the same friends.
1. Destination

**I don't owe anybody or anything of WWE. Just 'Braeden' is mine. I use a song: Foo Fighters "The Best Of You". I haven't asked for permission. Thank you so much, rkolove, my beta-reader. This wouldn't be possible without you. **

**Hope everybody enjoys!**

I sat in the passenger seat of his car and looked out of the window. The landscape flew by as we approached our destination. The sky was cloudless and a mild breeze touched the treetops. I felt the warm sun on my skin, but it dazzled my eyes. I turned the sun visor down and stared into my dark brown eyes in the small mirror. Music played.

"… _is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you_ …" Foo Fighters, as always. I smiled and looked at him. His fingers tapped out the rhythm on the wheel as he sang along quietly. He noticed my gaze and gave me a quick bright smile.

"…_it's real, the pain you feel …"_ I looked down at the splint on my left knee. It didn't hurt so much this morning. I laid my head back on the headrest and closed my eyes.

"Braeden, we're almost there." Adam broke the oppressive silence.

"You should know!"

"The navi knows."

I laughed. Almost from the beginning of our friendship he just knew how to get me. "Thanks for driving me," I said gratefully.

"Don't mention it!" Adam replied, waving away my thanks with his hand. He had no doubt that he would drive me. He invited me. He had a few days off and wanted me to stay at his house in Tampa and drive me to rehab in Miami. I wanted to take a flight from Alabama to Miami but I couldn't refuse his offer because he wouldn't let me. He thought my little accident was his fault, but it wasn't - it was an accident. But the thousand discussions with him about it didn't change his mind. He just didn't want to. So I gave up and let him have his way.

When he had his surgery I was there for him. That was easy because I was part of his medical team. He didn't have many visitors - his friends didn't have much time and he didn't want his family to see him like that. I spent a lot of time with him because I thought I could help him through it. We became real good friends, and now he was there for me. As a German living in the US it was hard, especially when you're injured and in hospital. My family and friends were in Germany and I felt lost; but he was there for me as much as he could. And that was much more than I was for him and our friendship became as close as you can imagine a friendship to be. Maybe his bad conscience helped a little …

I spent a wonderful evening with Nat, Jay and Adam at his house. I got to know the other two when Adam was in hospital. I didn't know anything about wrestling. I just knew they were professional wrestlers, nothing more. I just wasn't interested. I did surgery for some wrestlers and that was enough. I never saw them wrestle live or on TV. It wasn't my world. But I was so happy that I took Adam's invitation because to that evening I didn't know how much I missed having good friends around. And it was great to have them around before heading to rehab.

He took his biggest car and drove me. There was so much space inside. At the beginning of our trip he pushed the passenger seat back for me as far as it would go so that I could stretch out my injured leg.

We drove into the parking lot and he turned the car off. "Wait! Don't move!"

I heard the trunk open and saw him with my huge suitcase and my crutches. He dropped the suitcase on the ground and leant my crutches against his car next to the passenger door. He opened the door as far as possible. I turned in the seat to face him. Adam just smiled calmly, put his hands on my waist and lifted me up carefully. He brought me close to him and I took the chance to embrace him.

"Hey, you're alright?" he asked, sounding a little concerned.

"Thank you so much! This is just what I need right now," I said and slowly let go of him.

He grabbed my suitcase and hand-baggage and we started the slow walk over to the entrance. Adam stayed by my side as I made my way on my crutches. We past the sign that read 'Grey Rehabilitation Centre'.

"Adam, I don't wanna be here! I feel so …" I searched for the right words to describe my dilemma.

"Helpless and weak?"

"Frustrated and lost!"

"No one understands better than me, but hey, don't worry, Brae. It's really great here, like a vacation with exercises. Believe me, I spent most of last year here. Now it's your turn." Adam seemed to read my mind. I couldn't and I didn't want to hide my smile, a little sad but mostly thankful, and got his beautiful one back.

I slipped easily through the revolving door and suddenly stood in the impressive lobby of Grey Rehabilitation Centre. It looked like something out of a movie. Marble on the ceiling, parquet on the floor, paintings on the walls and beautiful plants guided the way to the desk.

"Still cool, eh!" Adam interrupted my stupid goggling.

"Definitely! I've seen this a few times before but it's still so impressive, every time."

We came to the marble desk. The receptionist, a woman around 50, I guessed, wore a dark blue blazer and a white blouse. She looked at us through her glasses. Her name badge said 'Mrs. Peterson'.

"Good Morning. Welcome you to … Adam!" she exclaimed when she saw him.

"Susan!" he grinned, going around the desk and hugged the surprised receptionist. "It's good to see a familiar face here!"

"What are you doing here? Patient again?" she asked, looking worried.

"Nope, not yet and hopefully not so soon again."

"Oh I see, your girlfriend needs medical treatment." We looked at each other smiling.

"Susan, what do you think of me? She's not my girlfriend. You know you're the only one." Adam grinned sweetly.

"You charming liar!" she chuckled.

"This is … ", I cut him off.

"…Doctor Braeden Miller and I start my medical treatment here today," I said politely.

She checked the computer and then she laid a key on the desk. "Here you are. It's room 207. In 30 minutes one of our employees will visit you. The elevator is just around the corner there." She pointed a direction. "But Adam knows everything here. When you need something or want to talk just come around here. It feels like I'm always here," she smiled.

She was so friendly. I felt like home. Ready to start.

Adam took the key and walked me to my room. He unlocked the door, pushed it open and stepped back to let me go in first. It looked like a hotel room. Was I really on vacation? The bed was the kind that you never want to get up from when you finally lay in it. Damn it! I had a huge lack of sleep. I wanted to jump on it, but my aching knee stopped me.

"Do you need anything?" Adam asked considerately as he wrapped his left arm around me and pulled me against his chest. I closed my eyes and heard his heart thumping. Such a familiar sound.

"I don't think so," I whispered not really sure if I had a lack of anything.

He let go off me and put my suitcase on the bed.

"Oh, Brae," he groaned "how many bottles of Ginger Ale do you've taken with you?"

"Probably not enough!" I laughed. "You know that's my weakness, my kryptonite."

"Should I order a delivery service?" He kept on joking about my addiction to this damn good tasty drink. "I would!"

He just stood there, pushed his wild blonde hair back from his face as his eyes rested patiently on me. I hobbled to him to give him what he deserved. The closest hug friends like us are able to give without crossing the border. I clung to him, my cheek against his, his strong arms wrapped firmly around me and my body close to his.

"Bye sweetheart. Just call whenever you want to, day or night. We'll try to visit you, ok?" He spoke his goodbyes and kissed my cheek.

I closed the door and leant against it. I was alone. Silence surrounded me. I took a deep breath and held on for a moment. I hobbled over to the bed and opened my suitcase. My left knee was aching. I looked down at the splint. Just as I was putting some clothes into the wardrobe there was a knock at the door.

"Yes please, come in," I answered it with a little smile.

A woman, around 40, opened the door.

"Doctor Miller," she smiled. "I'm Anne Ferguson. I welcome you to Grey Rehabilitation Centre. It's not a nice reason to welcome you but we'll do everything to make your stay as comfortable and successful as possible. I'll show you the centre, explain your rehab schedule and introduce you to all the people you'll be working closely with, especially the physiotherapists."

When I walked down the halls I realized how amazing this rehab centre was. They had everything you could possibly need. Gym, swimming-pool, spa. Oh, this looked like it could be fun! I was so excited.


	2. Shipwrecked

**I don't owe anything or anyone of WWE. I owe Braeden. I used the lyrics of a song: Alanis Morissette "Ironic". I haven't asked for permission. ****Thanks for the lovely reviews. Thank you so much my one and only beta reader, rkolove. **

The light in the bathroom was just right, not too bright. Quiet music came from the water resistant radio.

"… _it's a death row pardon, two minutes too late, isn't it ironic? Don't you think? …"_

I stood in front of the huge mirror and smiled bitterly, as I plaited my chestnut-brown long hair to a pigtail. I wore a red tank top and dark grey sport shorts. I was getting ready for my physiotherapy. Today it was with Kevin Donovan. We had a good time during our last exercise sessions - he motivated me, made me go to my limit, but always made sure that I didn't push myself too much.

45 minutes later, I was lying on my back, on a physical exercises mat with my left foot on a gymnastic ball. I tried to make it roll closer to me by moving my knee. I worked the ball countless times, again and again and again.

"That's enough for today," Kevin decided and took the ball away.

"Kev, I really can do more. You know I can. Again! Please!" I begged him to let me go on with the exercise.

"Braeden, you'll do more tomorrow!" he promised, trying to convince me that he was right. And I knew he was. So I stood up, carefully and slowly, and went to get my bag. I was trying to put my splint back on, when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Kevin answered immediately.

I didn't look to the door because I was still fighting with my splint.

"Good afternoon Doctor Carter," Kevin said surprised to the manager of Grey Rehabilitation Centre. "What brings you here?"

"Good afternoon Mr. Donovan. Am I disturbing you right now?" he asked politely.

They looked at me but I was finally done with my splint, took my crutches and turned around. I just smiled and walked to the door. Someone was standing behind Doctor Carter.

"I have a new patient for you."

I didn't really care but it wasn't possible not to notice him. He was tall with sturdy shoulders. I just glanced briefly at him when I passed. A new patient. And Doctor Carter himself used his precious time for him? It was obvious that he wasn't just a new patient, but a special patient.

The next morning I felt very good. Silence surrounded me again. I listened to myself gasp and felt my heart thump. The feeling of weightless was unimaginably and to move was so easy. I didn't feel pain in my leg when I glided through the water of the swimming-pool that belonged to the rehab centre. I went there every morning and tried to leave the world outside.

I was done for the day and walked away from the pool area. I stood in front of the big glass door and stopped to search through my bag for my room keys. The door was opened but I was still searching for my keys. Surprisingly, I didn't hear steps or the door closed. When I finally found my keys I saw why. Someone was patiently holding the door for me. I smiled.

"Hi!" he smiled back.

It was the new one, the impressive one. That he was tall I noticed the day before, but standing directly in front of me made me realized how tall in comparison to me. I guessed that he was Adam's height, who towered over my 5'9 self. And he didn't only have sturdy shoulders - he was well built all over. He had tanned skin and striking blue eyes. He wore a t-shirt and I could see his tattooed arms. His right arm stuck out of a sling.

"Thanks!" I just had nothing more to say before I turned my back on him.

Two hours later I was hanging around the lobby with Susan and waiting for my doctor to go to a separate part of the gym with me to do some medical tests there.

"Don't stare at him!"

"Why would I?" I asked a little offended because Susan just caught me staring at the new one. Oh damn! Susan's watchful eyes missed nothing. But despite being caught, I couldn't stop.

He had just come in and looked over to the reception, when Carter walked across the lobby towards him. The new one put his left hand in his jeans pocket. Just his thumb stuck out and played with the loop. He bobbed with his feet and his eyes roamed around the lobby. Carter talked to him and he gave him patiently very short answers. He didn't look very comfortable.

I had to think about Adam and what he told me about his time here in rehab. He was one of Carter's special patients too. In the beginning, Carter visited him every day. He was getting on Adam's nerves and Adam tried to avoid him but it was almost impossible to get rid of him. Carter just cared a lot about his special ones. But what was so special about this new one?

"Doctor Carter," Susan suddenly called for him "I have important information for you."

Carter stopped talking and turned around. Susan looked at him encouragingly. Carter turned back to the new one. I caught his eyes and as I started to make gestures for him to leave, I mouthed the word 'go' without speaking a sound. When Carter came over to the reception, the new one smiled gratefully and before he left he mouthed 'thank you'.

After my medical tests, I had an exercise hour with Kev. I left his room and closed the door slowly behind me. With my head down, I stared on the floor. Thoughts were running through my head about the medical results. I threw my crutches away and fell onto the couch that stood next to Kev's room. Disappointed, I put my face in my hands. Someone was sitting on the couch, but I didn't care.

"Hi!" he just said.

"You've already said that today!" I sighed.

I didn't mean it in a bad way. I just didn't want to talk or listen. I was drifting through my thoughts. He got up without saying anything else. I sighed again as I rubbed my face with my hands. I moved my head slowly to look up and stared into his face. He crouched in front of me holding my crutches. I was surprised but without thinking I reached my hands out.

"Thanks …"

A grin flickered around the corners of his mouth. Just a small one. It was short, but I saw it. It took a moment but then I realized.

"Eh … I've already said that today, huh?"

He didn't need to answer. The amused look that came over his face was enough. I was such a fool, but I couldn't help but laugh – a laugh that felt so good on this frustrating day.

"What's wrong?" he asked, serious again.

"Aawwww … " I let out a deep breath. "It's not so bad."

"But bad enough to be on your mind."

"It just might sound pathetic to someone else."

"Try me."

I didn't want to embarrass myself. I didn't want to make a fool of myself. Well, I'd already done that, but I didn't want it to make it any worse. If that was possible. But I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to someone whose name I didn't even know. I could talk later to Adam or Nat or Jay or … nobody. I looked at him, at his arm in the sling. Maybe this was my only chance to talk. Maybe it wasn't such a stupid idea just to talk to someone who was in a similar situation, at least in the same situation. I didn't know him but it felt like I could just tell him. Like two shipwrecks on a lonely island. It was really strange but it was worth a try. What could happen?

"Why not?" I started "I had this week's progress check. Well, secretly I try every day on my own to see where I stand. And it's good, because you can't lie to yourself. If it aches, it aches. And you know that. But the official check is a little different. Your progress is official. The success is measurable," I paused.

"And it wasn't successful this week?" he asked.

"It was! It was okay, but I expected more for some reason. It's just so disappointing. The progress seems to be minimal."

"I know what it's like to work hard and you know what you've done but nothing seems to get better. It's just frustrating."

I looked into his eyes and smiled thankfully. He really did understand.

"Feel better?" he asked softly.

"A little," I answered as I got up. So did he. "By the way, I'm Braeden."

Kev opened his door and looked out. "Randy."

"That's me!"

* * *

I held on for a moment and took a few deep breathes, in and out. The fresh air was so pleasant. I had just stepped in the huge park that belonged to the rehab centre. I wanted to go for a walk. Like I used to, every afternoon. Now, I had an aim.

I walked for a while before I was almost there. During one of my first days in rehab I decided to discover the huge park. All of it. On my own. It took me some time but I was used to that. At the other end of the park, hid behind some shrubs stood a single bench. No one was around. I hadn't seen anyone when I was walking there. It was really like being in the middle of nowhere.

And now I was close to my rest again. Just behind the few shrubs. But when I passed by I could see through them that there was someone sitting on the bench. As I got closer, I saw that this 'someone' was Randy. He was more hanging then sitting on the bench with his long legs stretched out and his head leant against the back. It didn't look very comfortable. The bench was definitely not built for his size. His eyes were closed and his face turned towards the sun. He looked so relaxed, and that in rehab. He had his sling off. It lay on the top of a pile of stuff next to him. There was a laptop, a cell phone and a bottle of water. I didn't want to startle him. So I made a few extra-loud sounds when I finally got to the bench. He opened his eyes and blinked in the sunlight.

"Do you mind if I rest here?" I asked sweetly.

"How could I say 'No'?" He slid over to the right side and grabbed his stuff.

I sat myself slowly down on his left. I leant my crutches against the bench between us. I took the bottle of Ginger Ale out of my small bag and took a sip before I took my splint off and stretched out, too. We sat there in silence.

"I hate rehab!" I stated after a while.

"Me too," he opened his eyes again, moved slowly and turned towards me. "Why do you hate it?"

I stared at him. "Doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, and worst, injured people all around. 24/7! No escape!"

"Erm … You're injured!" he grinned.

"That's not funny!" I smirked.

"I'm injured!"

"Exceptions make the difference."

"Oh, thank you!" he laughed. "And because of all these people you walked the whole way over here? Must have taken you …" he looked at my knee and the crutches, "half an hour."

"Longer, but it's worth it. I like it here. It's so quiet and secluded. No one used to be around here … until today."

We smiled at each other like two shipwrecks on a lonely island again.


	3. Women's logic

**I don't owe anything or anyone of WWE. I owe Braeden. Thank you so much for the reviews. This for you rkolove, my beta-reader.**

I couldn't believe it. It was raining - in Miami. And it was raining hard. The drops clattered against the window-pane. It sounded like a whole orchestra. When the raindrops hit the glass they shattered into millions of small pieces. They pulled together again into bigger drops until they were heavy enough to run slowly down at the pane. I don't know how long I watched this spectacle.

I turned around and looked over to the small couch. My crutches leant against the armrest. My gaze fell on the magazines that lay on the table. I hobbled over to the couch, took one of the magazines and flipped quickly through the pages like I had done a few times already that day. I put the magazine back again and glanced at my laptop that lay at the foot of the bed. I lay back on the bed again. I turned on my laptop and checked my emails. Nothing new. No surprise. I had checked them 20 minutes ago. I grabbed my iPod and put the ear phones in. I pressed 'play'. Nothing happened. I looked at it and saw what was wrong. I shifted the unlock button and pressed 'play' again. Nothing happened. I sighed. The battery was empty. I connected my iPod with the laptop and turned on the TV. I flicked through the channels. Once. Twice. So many channels and nothing to watch. I stuck on Sesame Street but I already knew the letter 'L'.

'Oohh, ooohhhh' The sound came from my laptop: ICQ telling me that I'd received a message.

_**Adam1973 **__Hey, you're there? _

_**Mulder'sScully **__Right here _

_**Adam1973 **__Time to call? _

_**Mulder'sScully **__Hey, that's my question :-p _

_**Adam1973 **__;-) You call! _

I switched from ICQ to the video call program and picked Adam's contact. I squirmed on my stomach, trying to find a more comfortable position. A few second's later, the channel was opened and I saw Adam on the screen. His hair was bounded together to a little ponytail and he wore his typical shirt combination which I liked so much. He was lying on a bed too, his back leant against the headboard. It looked like he was in hotel room, as usual.

"Hey Brae," he smiled "it's good to see you."

"Hey Adam! Thank you. It's great to see you. How are you?" I tried to take a closer look at him. I recognized the shadows under his beautiful eyes. "You look so tired," I said softly and got the urge to touch him. But all I could touch was the screen.

He smiled and put his fingertips on the screen where mine were. "You know that I used to look like a wreck after one sleepless night. Thank god for the invention of sunglasses. But I'll have a couple of days off after tonight, well two, but that's plenty!"

"Where are you?"

"We're in Chicago, finally. It was a long trip with cancelled flights and endless hours of hanging around. A lot of work during the last days. Flights all over the country. But good for the air-miles account," he explained, until he looked up and scowled. "There's someone at the door. I'll be right back." He stood up and laid his laptop on the bed. The screen was turned towards the wall and all I could see was the empty bed.

"Hey, come in. Brae's on the phone," I heard Adam say.

"I don't want to disturb you," said Jay's familiar voice.

"You don't. I'm sure Brae wants to talk to you too," Adam replied. Jay said something but I couldn't hear it, because he was practically whispering. Adam answered in a similarly low voice. They carried on like this for a while until I heard Jay sigh, as if he'd given up.

"Jay!" I called loudly "I know you're there. I can hear you!" I heard a sound like someone had fallen on the floor and the hotel room flew by until it stopped at Jay's face. He was sitting on the floor in front of the bed.

"Hey hun, how are you?" he asked with a smile.

"Thanks, everything's alright," I answered forcing myself to smile desperate to hide the fact that the first days of rehab were worse than I expected. I didn't want them to know. I saw Adam walking around the hotel room, his legs pass by behind Jay's head. Suddenly they stopped.

"I know that tone," Adam said, suspiciously. Obviously, I had failed.

"The first few days here were a little tough," I admitted. "But everything is alright now!"

* * *

The smell of coffee and pancakes filled the air. Breakfast wasn't long ago but the smell was bringing my appetite back. Most of the seats were taken. I stood in the entrance area of the small, cosy café and looked around. All I wanted was a cup of tea.

"What are you looking for?" Randy asked. I wasn't surprised that he was suddenly standing next to me. One of the first things that I'd learnt in rehab was that everything was a little different. There weren't so many people in rehab and there weren't so many places to go, so it was no coincidence to meet someone. It was normal.

"A free place," I answered, still looking around.

He started to look around, too. "There's one over there," he pointed after a few moments at a corner. I didn't see it. I stretched myself up onto my tiptoes and leant a little over to him. My arm touched his. My skin on his. It was warm and smooth. It felt the exactly opposite of what it looked like. I enjoyed the curious but gentle touch before we walked over to the table. He pulled the chair out for me, we sat down and ordered.

"Have you ever been in rehab before?" he asked when we got our order.

"No, never," I answered "I did some sports since I was a child and I had some little injuries like a pulled ligament or a sprained wrist but nothing bad. Nothing what I needed rehab for."

"Sport is murder!" he laughed.

"Yep, definitely!" I chuckled "Why are you here? I mean which injury do you have?"

"A torn muscle."

"Which one?"

"The pectoral muscle."

"Ah, the pec," I thought about this injury. It was a nasty one. You needed surgery and even with that it would take a long time to heal. And then you had to be really careful that it didn't tear again when you started to put weight on it again. It was a typical injury of people who do fight sports like boxing. "How did you do this?"

"Ehr … sport accident!"

We both started to laugh heartily. Tears filled my eyes and were almost running down my cheeks. After we calmed down again we sat there in silence. I had my hands wrapped around my cup and watched how coloured streams from the tea-bag soaked the hot water.

"What are you drinking? It smells so …"

"Wanna taste it?" I didn't wait for his answer and pushed my cup over the table to him.

"Sure!" he said and reached out for it. His hand covered mine. I looked at him and smiled shyly, but I didn't move my hand. He smiled back as his fingertips ran down my fingers to reach the handle. I slowly let go of the cup. He moved it to his mouth and took a sip. He waited a moment and took another sip.

"What is it?" he looked at me. "It tastes sweet but spicy at the same time."

Before I could answer I saw his gaze move. He focused something behind me. I followed his gaze and saw that he was looking at the clock on the wall.

"Damn it!" he cursed and stood up. "Sorry! Gotta go! I'm late," he hurried. I was a little disappointed at his unexpected awakening. I guess it was written all over my face because he looked at me with regret and paused.

"Completely forgot about time," he smiled "Actually I didn't care." And that just made me smile. When he saw my face lighten up again he left. A sigh escaped from me as I watched the puddle of tea at the bottom of my cup. I didn't know why. Suddenly I heard someone clear his throat and a hand was carefully laid on my shoulder. I jumped with fright and almost let my cup fall.

"Sorry Braeden," he laughed in his deep voice.

"Gosh! Randy!" But I wasn't mad with him. I was glad that it was him.

"I thought I had made my presence clear," he still laughed. "I'm really sorry, especially that I don't have that much time right now. Would you like to meet me at the bench this afternoon?"

* * *

Randy was already there. He had his laptop on his thighs, busily tapping away. He was sitting in the middle of the bench and his stuff was lying on his right side. When he saw me coming, he took his sunglasses off and smiled invitingly. He closed his laptop and watched me when I just sat myself directly next to him and put my crutches on my left side.

"And have you ever been in rehab before?" I started to continue our earlier conversation.

"Several times," he smirked.

"Several times" I repeated in complete disbelief. I thought about the first time when I met him at the bench. He was so relaxed. I thought now I would know the reason. "That's why you take it so easy," I stated my sudden realization.

"Take it easy?" he asked, obviously unsure what I was talking about. "I don't take it easy. Why do you think that?"

"You just seem to be so relaxed. You seem to kind of enjoy this a little."

"I try to relax for the first few days. I spend a lot of time at work and I travel a lot for my job … "

"What do you do?" I interrupted him.

"I'm a … " he hesitated. "I do … professional sport," he finished.

"You got injured at work!" I concluded.

"Erm … Yes."

I got the feeling that he didn't really want to talk about his job. I completely understood because I didn't want to talk about mine either, but that didn't mean that I wasn't interested. But I left it for now and continued to listen.

"I'm usually surrounded by loads of people and I don't have many days off. So, yeah, in the beginning I try to kind of enjoy rehab and spend some time on my own. I think I've brought about ten books with me that I've bought over the last year and haven't had time to read yet. And I don't even know how many DVD's that I've missed. I just enjoy being a little lazy and sleep as much as I can. That's real luxury for me. But after a few days I lose the interest and I start to feel like I should do something more. And that's the hard part. When you really realize your situation and start to feel … "

He didn't finish his sentence, like he realized on his own what he just said and what was still to come for him here. I thought that he would be used to the procedure of rehab but now I was sure that you'd never get used to it. Especially the mixture of feelings that would run through you during rehab.

He slightly smiled. "It's a little difficult."

I tried to smile, in an attempt to cheer him up. "No, it's not!"

"It's plain to see that you've never been in rehab before. There's gonna be a lot of ups and downs. But it's okay, somehow. It's normal. You'll see!" he sighed.

"And what do I do when I'm having a 'down'?"

"Call me," he smirked.

"Great," I replied ironically. But actually it made sense. "And I'll give you my number," I said seriously.

"That would be cool," he smiled, grabbed his phone and went to hand it to me.

"No." I refused it and took my bag. "I'm old school." I could feel him watching me as I took a felt-tip pen out of my bag. When I turned towards him again he put his phone back and as I moved a little closer he laid his left arm on the back of the bench, so that there was nothing left between us and I moved real close to him.

I held the cap of the pen between my teeth and removed the pen with my right hand. My left hand moved to hold his forearm. I carefully turned his injured arm to write my number on the inside of his forearm. I looked at his tattoos and hesitated. I tapped the pen against my chin. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him grin. I slowly moved my hand down his forearm to his palm, enjoying the feeling of my fingers sliding over his skin. When I reached his palm I hesitated again. I didn't like to write something into a palm. And I didn't like having something written into _my_ palm. When you start to sweat or still have to work with your hands, the palm is the last place where you want something to be written. I sighed and turned his hand over. The back of his hand would be the perfect place to write my number on. The only thing that I didn't like was that everyone else would be able to see it.

I was still holding his hand as I thought about the possibility in writing my number on the back of his hand. While I was lost in thoughts my fingers started to follow the lines in his palm and caressed them. Suddenly he chuckled and ripped me from my thoughts.

"What are you doing?" he asked but he didn't seem to mind.

I realized what I was doing and glanced at our hands. I enjoyed it too much to caress him to stop immediately. Finally I remembered what I actual wanted to do and with a groan I let go of his hand.

"Just give me your phone," I mumbled still with the cap in my mouth where I put the pen back in. He grinned and handed me his iPhone. I added myself as a new contact. When I was finally done I turned on the cam and turned the phone around. I took the pen out of my mouth and shot a photo of myself. I put the pen back between my teeth and looked at the photo. Satisfied with it, I added it to the contact.

"Done!" I simply mumbled as he took back his phone. But something was strange. His smile was gone and his face had become serious. He eyed my lips with an intense look.

"What about me?" he asked. I didn't know what he meant. I wasn't sure how to react. I looked at him but his eyes didn't move.

"Hold it!" he said and I saw his hand move to the pen. I smirked and held the cap with my teeth. He took the pen and moved his arm from the back of the bench to hold my forearm. His hand was huge; it almost surrounded my arm. But he was so gentle and careful holding it. And his hand felt so good. Like his skin. The soft touch of his hand, caused goose-bumps to form on my forearm, where he wrote his number.

"Thank you!" I said when he was finished and looked at the number on my forearm.

"You're welcome," he smiled as he gave me the pen back. He let go off my arm and laid his back on the top of the bench. I could still feel his touch. I grabbed my phone, looked at his number and started to type it. He rolled his eyes.

"Eh … women's logic!"

"No!" I refused his statement. "That's _MY_ logic!"

A lovely expression came over his face, a mixture of sweetness, cheekiness and something I couldn't quite figure out. "I think I like it," he whispered, as I leant my head on his arm.


	4. That's not fair!

**I don't owe anything or anyone of WWE. I owe Braeden. I used the lyrics of a song: Jimmy Eat World "Bleed American". I haven't asked for permission. rkolove, my beta-reader, made this possible! Thank you!**

The TV's were on but I didn't pay them much attention. I never understood why they always had to have TV's in places like this. A news channel showed the headlines of the day, then the weather, over and over again. I was wondering if it was on a loop. I was sure that I had heard the same news days before and the weather hadn't changed either. Nobody would notice if the host went on holiday for a month: they would just air the same show each day. And the chances of the weather changing drastically in a month were pretty slim. Wait a second … wasn't the host wearing the same suit? He was talking but the sound was muted. It made sense! And even if they weren't, I couldn't hear him anyway.

"… _salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt, our hearts littering the topsoil …"_

My iPod pushed me to my limit. My sport playlist was on. I was in the gym. I didn't go to the gym on my own very often, because I just couldn't do much there. I really didn't need to work out my arms when walking around on crutches the whole day and my knee didn't let me do much else. I did some floor exercises to help my injured leg and my back. Usually I preferred the pool, but today I just wanted to sweat. I was sitting on a bike and working it fast. The seat was adjusted in a way that I could neither bend nor extend my injured knee too much. It didn't ache, so I kept on going.

I had pulled my hair to a topknot and wore tight-fitting clothes: a grey sport bra, one of my beloved turquoise tank tops and black shorts, as normal. I didn't like fluttery clothes when I was working out. When you start to sweat, they stick to your body like a wet strand of hair. That's just annoying. And I could feel that sweat running down the back of my neck, between the shoulder-blades.

I looked on the display of the bike's monitoring system. I was wearing a pulse monitor and my pulse was still good but the watch told me that it was time to cool down. So I stretched myself, leant back and slow down the pace. After a few more minutes of relaxed pedalling, I finally stopped and dried my left leg with a towel. I put my splint back on. I never wore it during my exercises and luckily it wasn't necessary. I did wear it in the beginning but the sweat started to itch under it. And I couldn't scratch. True torture.

I cleaned and disinfected the bike before I glanced around the gym. I liked to work out on my own and not get distracted by others, so I always tried to find a little alcove for me and didn't pay a lot of attention to what was around me. But now I wanted to know. A few people were working out. A little distance away from the others, like I used to be, I saw Randy running fast on a treadmill. His back was turned towards me. I hadn't seen him when I arrived at the gym. Had he seen me?

I decided to say 'hi', so grabbed my stuff and walked over to him. As I got closer to him I saw that he had earphones in too. I wanted to walk around the treadmill, so he would see me. Before I could, he reached for his towel but it fell on the floor. He didn't care. He kept on running and instead, he lifted his shirt up to wipe the sweat off. I stood in front of him as he exposed his stomach. I thought that he would be well built because it was obvious but I had never expected that! Fortunately for me, there wasn't only sweat on his face; little sweat-drops were running down from his chest. I watched a drop that was running slowly over the grooves of his stomach muscles, down to his belly button. When it reached his belly button it hung glittering in it for a moment before it fell. I watched another one make its way over his gorgeous muscles, again down to his belly button. But this one went around his belly button and kept running down until it disappeared into the material of his pants.

I was fascinated and couldn't force myself to look away. To my disappointment, his shirt slid back down and I looked away quickly. Did he notice that I was ogling? He smiled and pulled out his ear phones. His music was so loud that I could hear James Hetfield scream out 'St. Anger'.

"Hi!" he gasped for breath, as he continued running. "Didn't see you in here."

"I just did a few rounds on the bike. There's not much I can do here. That's why I'm not here very often. I prefer the pool."

"The pool. Sounds good."

I felt that I was still sweating. Sweat was running down my neck, along the collarbone to where the breastbone begins. I felt how the sweat gathered in the little hollow of the throat.

And Randy saw it, because he was looking. My tank top didn't expose too much skin. You couldn't see my breasts at all, but I wasn't sure if I wanted him to look. I wasn't sure if he was looking. I had just worked out in a public gym. Everybody here could look. I hadn't cared before. But somehow that was different. I mean, I had looked at him before and seen much more than he could see, even he was in a very good position to see more than others because of his height as well as the added height of the treadmill. I didn't know why I was thinking about that or even how thoughts like that were coming into my mind.

I felt my nape aching a little. So I closed my eyes, leant my head back and moved it a little from side to side, trying to release the tension. When I stretched my neck the sweat in the hollow of the throat started to run slowly down my breastbone. After a few seconds I felt it between my breasts. I heard Randy gasp again but it sounded somehow different. I opened my eyes. I caught him staring at my breasts before his eyes quickly moved somewhere else. Just like I had done, moments before.

"Gotta go," I said. "I just wanted to say 'hi.'"

* * *

It was a hot day. Definitely the hottest since I started rehab. After the rain a few days ago, the heat was coming back again. And hotter than before. It wasn't possible to move, eat, sleep and even breathing was almost too exhausting.

I was wearing shorts, that covered a third of my thighs. But on that hot day, even that felt like too much. My shirt was fluttering. On a hot day like this I liked fluttery shirts because if there was a breeze it could go through your clothes and kiss your skin.

I don't know how but I somehow made it to the bench. I kicked off my shoes and leant back in the corner, between the back of the bench and the armrest. I stretched my legs out on the bench. I closed my eyes, despite the fact I was wearing sunglasses, and enjoyed the sun and the silence.

* * *

It was like a shadow had fallen on my face. But I wasn't sure, so I opened my eyes a little. Randy was standing in front of me. I watched him. I didn't know if he could see that I had opened my eyes. He was just standing there, gazing at me, until I took my sunglasses off.

"I thought you were asleep." He explained his hesitation with a smile.

"Oh, I guess I was close." I had no idea how long I had been lying on the bench, or in fact, what time it was at all. I sat up a little more and started to move my legs to make room for him to sit down.

"No," he laid his hand on my legs. "If it's okay for you," he smiled and moved my legs carefully up until they were high enough that he could slide under them onto the bench. He laid my feet on his thigh.

"That okay?"

"No, not yet. Come a bit closer?" I smiled. "My leg starts to ache after a while if it's too straight. It's more comfortable when my knee's bent."

He held my legs and moved closer. As close as he could get. He laid my legs on his thighs but he seemed to be a little indecisive about where to put his hands. He glanced at my knees.

"Do you mind?" he asked, gesturing to my injured knee. I shook my head and he let his pointer finger slip gently over my knee. He moved it to the cut, that hadn't quite finished healing, on the inside of my knee. It's twin was on the outside. He touched them both carefully.

"What do you actually have done?"

"I haven't told you yet?" I replied, surprised. "A cruciate ligament rupture."

"What happened?" he asked, with a hint of compassion in his voice.

I sighed. "Eh … if you have such a friend like I have …"

"Boyfriend?" His hand retracted from my knee in an instant, while his eyes, glowing with guilt, stared at me.

Without thinking, I quickly laid my hand on his, stopping him from moving away.

"No," I said in a hurry. "Just a friend, okay, a male friend, but really, only a friend."

That wasn't the whole truth but the whole truth wasn't important. And it definitely wasn't important to him and right now, it wasn't important to me either. I didn't want it to be important. I didn't want it to ruin this. I didn't want to think about Adam. So I pushed these unimportant thoughts aside.

He smiled, somewhat assured and moved his hand to my knee. Mine was still on his. I looked at his arm and moved my fingers slowly over his tattoos. I let my fingers follow the lines of dark ink on his forearm. I moved on, to his elbow and his well-trained upper arm. I pushed the sleeve of his shirt up a little, before my eyes went to the nape of his neck. I had seen the tattooed lines there before but I never really looked closely.

I gazed at him. Now both of his hands were on my legs. One was carefully caressing my injured knee, the other one concentrated on my shin, calf and ankle. I took a moment to absorb his touch. It made me want to touch him more. I moved my hand to his neck and lay my finger on a thin tattooed line. I followed it to his nape and caressed all the lines that peeked out of his shirt. His distinctive nape muscles felt hard, tense. I let my fingers wander over them, applying a gentle pressure. I knew I could do much better. But I thought this would be a nice start.

He fought with his eyes. His eyelids fluttered open and closed for a few minutes, before shutting completely. His head slumped forwards and sideways. His movements on my legs slowed. He seemed to abandon himself to my touches. A sigh of pleasure escaped from his lips.

I watched him with a satisfied smile. I massaged him but after a while, my arm started to go numb from being up so high. I moved my hand away from his nape. I just wanted to let my fingers run down his muscular upper arm to his forearm again. But I didn't get very far.

"Please keep going," he quietly groaned.

I smiled. He didn't move, anticipating that I would carry on. I was enjoying this moment. I enjoyed watching him. And I enjoyed how he was enjoying this.

"Make me," I whispered.

He slowly opened his eyes and stared at me. It looked like as if he was considering the endless possibilities that I had just presented. When he looked at my legs on his lap he smirked and started to move his hands once more. He continued caressing my lower leg, making his way up to my knee. He turned more towards me, as his hand moved to my thigh. Slowly, carefully, but constant, moving inch by inch. I didn't want to but now it was _my_ eyes that were on the verge of closing – those fingers … On my skin … It felt so damn good.

"Like that?" he whispered.

Something inside me flipped. I didn't answer. I wanted him to carry on. He moved his hand up and down several times. Once when his hand was back down at my knee he moved his thumb to the inside of my thigh and continued his caressing. The rest of his fingers followed his thumb soon and started to move up again, not far, just a few inches, but the feeling was almost too intense to bear.

"That's … not … fair," I stammered.

He stopped but didn't take it away from my thigh.

I only just managed to form words. "It was just your shoulder!"

"Just my shoulder?" he laughed. "I'm not sure if I should be glad that you obviously don't know what you just did … to my shoulder! But maybe you're right," he admitted with a defeated tone. "I guess … " he wrapped his other arm around me, slipped his hand under my shirt, his hand finding my hip "… there's something we could do that's fair for both of us."

I opened my eyes and looked straight into his as he pulled me closer to him. His head slowly moved closer to mine. I looked at his face, his lips. He stopped and looked at me. He eyed my lips like he'd done a few days before. Now I moved closer to him. Our lips were just an inch apart. I could already feel his breath on mine. Our eyes moved fast, looking all over each others face. My eyes eventually fell to his lips once again but before I could close my eyes and make the last inch, his phone rang.

My eyes moved from his lips to his eyes. He looked into mine. We didn't move. I could see a mixture of annoyance and disappointed in his eyes. The moment smashed to pieces in a second. He hung his head and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I have to …"

I innocently shrugged my shoulders. "Your loss," I whispered licking and biting my lower lip.

"_THAT'S_ not fair," he stated concentrating on my lips as his fingers on my thigh pressed into the flesh.

His phone kept on ringing. With an annoyed sigh he let go of my thigh and grabbed his phone. He glanced briefly on the display and finally answered it.

"Man, bad timing, as usual," he groaned. "Worst timing ever!" he looked at me. I chuckled and he smiled.

I didn't want to listen to his call so I just laid back again in the corner of the bench and started to caress his nape again. His arm was still wrapped around me and he caressed my hip. As much as I was distracted it was impossible not to overhear his call.

"… Huh?… No, no… Not really… No… You didn't mention a time… You did?… Eh, no… Here?… In the park… Where?… Eh… Okay, just follow the main route away from the centre for a mile. When you reach the turn that guides you back to the centre, there's a small track on your left. It has a dead end. That's where I am right now… Yup… Okay…" He hung up.

He had a visitor. I felt a little disappointed and let my hand slide from his neck. I moved my legs slowly off his lap and turned around.

"You've got a visitor?" I asked but it was a rhetorical question. He didn't have to answer. We both knew it. I didn't know why but I just let myself sink onto his chest. His arm around my hip was holding me tight. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around him. He placed his head on mine. We sat like this for some minutes.

"I'll go!" I raised my head and let go of him. He was still holding on.

"Don't go," he whispered almost pleading with me. "You don't have to!"

"Nah, I'd like to freshen up and rest a little before the next exercise session."

I turned away from him and took my splint. He slowly let go off my hip and stood up.

"I'll just make sure that my friend didn't miss the place here," he said, just as the sound of crunching gravel reached us.

I looked up. Randy had turned around. A guy came round the shrubs. Randy went to greet him with a hug. It brought a little smirk on my face to see men like them hug each other even if it was in a reserved, manly way. But it was very amicably. Randy's friend was a few inches smaller than him but somehow more sturdy especially around his neck and upper arms.

"Hi John! I was just on my way to see if you got lost somewhere."

"Did you really forget? I was looking for you for about …" he looked at his watch. "Randy you're …" he paused and looked at me "… In the company of a lady?"

I shook my head with a smile and looked down at my leg again. Guys! My splint was in place and I took my crutches. When I heaved up myself an arm wrapped around me again.

"Need some help?" Randy asked with a smile helping me to get up.

"Thanks, I'm okay!"

He didn't hurry to move his arm away. His friend was standing there, watching us.

"Braeden, John. John, Braeden." Randy introduced us simply.

"Hi John," I offered out my hand to shake his. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, Braeden," he took my hand. "Such a beautiful name for such a beautiful woman."

"John …" Randy groaned obviously irritated.

I felt somewhere in between embarrassed, flattered and amused. I ignored Randy and smiled.

"Thank you," I said gladly. "I haven't been given such a nice compliment for a while."

"No compliments?" John glanced at Randy.

"Well… Unless you count compliments like _'Oh your scars look so great. Who did them? Next surgery I want your doctor!' _or _'Pretty crutches! Do they have them in pink? That colour would look much better with your splint.'_"

John laughed and I even heard Randy chuckle next to me. I just shrugged my shoulders.

"It was nice to get to know you John, but I'd better go."

"What a pity! It just started to get real nice," he grinned, charm oozing from him.

I heard Randy taking a deep breath but before he could say something I turned towards him. He let his breath out and mouthed 'sorry'. I wanted to smile softly but all I could manage was an amused one.

"See you tomorrow?"

"Definitely! We have to continue our little conversation about fairness," I smiled innocently.


	5. Aqua sessions

**Disclaimer: look at the previous chapters. Song: Maroon 5 "This love"****. Thanks: reviews & adds (love you, readers). Beta-reader: rkolove, thank you so much for all your time, love and support. You always give me a kick in the right direction, and you spent most of your time to correct my horrible English. Shame on me! But this is my apology **

With my eyes closed, I breathed in deeply and listened to the sound. The familiar, intense smell stirred up old memories as the splash water washed around my feet. I was once again in the indoor swimming pool, stood with my bare feet in the still water. I inhaled a deep breath, smiling. Everybody knows that swimming pool smell but so many people hate it. Not me! I loved it. I didn't want to breathe out. So much was associated with that smell. I grew up in a family of swim freaks. I could probably swim before I could walk. And I don't mean baby swimming. Well, more like baby diving. The first few photos of me in my parents' photo album always showed me close to or in water. And so it was the natural course of things that swimming became my hobby. More than a hobby. I trained a lot and competed too. And somehow rehab was a competition too - a competition against myself. And so I stood there now in the still water, in my dark blue competition swimming suit, my long hair scraped back and pushed under a bathing cap whilst my fingers played with my goggles.

I opened my eyes and saw my aqua physiotherapist Jess walk around the pool. She came over to me. It was still early. I wondered what she wanted.

"You're early," Jess said.

"I always am but so are you!"

"Yeah, I know," she smiled. "It's gonna be a little different today. Josh is ill so I have to attend to his patients too. We'll be joined by one other that has to do exercises in the hot brine springs pool too. It won't change our session but we'll start a little later."

The change of timetable meant I had the chance to lap the pool before the actual therapy started. So I went slowly into deeper water and then, finally, I gently pushed off the ground. It always felt like I was floating on the water. It was so familiar. Water was just my thing. It gave me a feeling of freedom and safety. And right now, swimming was way easier than walking!

I took a break at the pool edge. The water surface was on the same level as the floor so it was easy to get out of the water even when injured. I sat on the pool edge and looked around. I didn't see Jess anywhere but I decided to swim over to the tool shed and wait there for her. It wouldn't be long before we started the session and I needed some equipment for it.

When I reached the pool edge close to the tool shed I rested my arms on the pool edge, and let my body relax and drift in the water. I saw a pair of bare feet. Looked like someone was waiting. I glanced up. It was Randy, just in his black, tight-fitting, thigh-gripping swimming trunks. He noticed me but didn't pay attention. He was busy looking around and waiting, so I took of my goggles and studied him.

The first thing I noticed was that he was completely hairless, even his legs. I wondered if that was the case everywhere …? And I wondered if I would find out. After that day on the bench, I was looking forward to finding out. And I was sure that it wasn't a question of 'if', just a question of 'when'. Anticipation is the greatest pleasure. And his looks definitely stimulated the anticipation even more. His thighs were well-defined, muscular but not too bulky. The obvious content of his swimming trunks was pretty hard to overlook. Anticipation, anticipation … I glanced at his stomach briefly – nothing new there – I'd seen it all before. But I hadn't seen his chest in the gym. Even with his arms folded over his chest, I could see what had felt so good a day ago when I had leant onto his chest. His chest was like his thighs, well-defined: the perfect place for a woman to rest her head. Or what else! More things I couldn't wait to find out about. And it was the first time that I saw all of his tattoos. His arms were completely covered but I couldn't see them clearly.

"What are you waiting for?" I had to break the silence. It was getting awkward just staring. I didn't want to undress him with my eyes. There was no need for that anyway. He was just wearing swimming trunks after all.

He smiled at me, sat down on the pool edge and slid his legs in the water.

"I didn't recognize you with the cap and goggles. Looks so professional," he smirked. "I'm here for my session… My usual physiotherapist isn't here today, so now everything's changed a bit."

"I guess we've got our exercise session together today if you have to work out in the hot brine springs pool too."

He nodded, smiling, as I slid out of the water to sit next to him. I looked at his upper arm. Last time on the bench I didn't see his whole arm so I didn't see all of his tattoos and didn't get what it was. I thought they were just some artful lines without any meaning. Now I saw them all but it didn't look like his whole tattoos belonged together: skulls, roses, something on his elbow that looked like a wing… And were there words on the inside? It reminded me of a diary, an illustrated diary on his skin. A memory to all incisive experiences. I wondered what he had all experienced.

I wanted to touch them again. If you touched them gently you could feel the grooves of ink on his skin. But instead of my fingertips on his skin, I felt a soft touch on my thigh. I thought I had grazed his thigh as I sat next to him. But when I looked down, I saw his hand between our thighs and his pointer finger gentle caressed my thigh.

"Looks like my exercise session had just got interesting," he smiled.

* * *

A few minutes later Randy and I stood by the hot brine springs pool. Jess was just adjusting the moveable pool base to fit both our heights and whatever exercises we would be doing. My water exercise sessions always started with a few laps of aqua jogging. So I prepared myself accordingly - I wrapped the belt, used to improve my body position in the water, around my waist, but struggled with the buckle at the back.

"Let me help you."

I felt his hot breath on my wet shoulders as his fingertips ran over my back to the buckle. He finished just as the pool base stopped and Jess came back.

"Okay, that looks good. Randy, I'll start with you. Braeden has a training program, so while she's doing her exercises, we can work together. Get in the water then!"

We both sat on the pool edge and let ourselves slowly slide into the warm water. I took my sponge barbells and tried to jog through the water. I couldn't use my injured leg much so I moved slower than slow motion. Jess walked next to the pool and watched what I was doing.

"Looks good. 20 minutes today!"

When I turned around to jog back, I saw that the water came up to Randy's neck. Jess stood on the pool edge and did arm-movements with a sponge barbell in her hand. Randy did the same in the water and told Jess about his past exercise sessions. I tried to concentrate on me. Once in a while Jess checked out how I was doing. When my time was up I moved to the pool edge, heaved myself out of the water and threw the jogging stuff to one side. In need of a short break, I laid with my back on the floor, breathing hard, and splashed my feet in the water.

"You did very well today," Jess looked down at me. "How about your leg?"

"I feel a little dragging pain, but that's all."

"Good, we'll continue in a few minutes. Randy, one more rep please!"

When Randy was done I was still lying on my back on the floor, watching Jess as she wrote some notes on a clipboard.

"For Braeden's exercises I have to move the pool base again. Please leave the water!"

Suddenly a little wave washed over my legs and Randy sat next to me again. He looked down at me, stretched out on the pool floor, wearing nothing but a wet swimsuit.

"Do you mind if I stay here while you're doing your exercises?"

* * *

"Okay Braeden, we're done for today." Jess finished our exercise session.

She left the water and I swam to the pool edge where Randy was still sitting. I dived under water and finally pulled the bathing cap from my head. My long hair fell in the water and I slowly emerged again. I needed a break and pushed myself over next to Randy. His eyes never left me.

"Can I leave you two alone?" Jess asked. "It's a little bit hectic today. I have to go to the next therapy group. I think the next patients will arrive in here in half an hour."

We both glanced at her quickly and she obviously took this as a 'yes', and promptly left us to it. I looked over to Randy. He moved back into the pool and turned towards me. I leant back, propped myself on my hands and moved my head to the side. My legs were hanging in the water. Randy stood in front of me. Because Jess had moved the pool base the water was now just below his chest. I just stared at him and this time, I didn't even try to hide my smile.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Just enjoying the view …"

"Me too!"

He came as close as my legs would let him. As my feet touched his chest I slowly ran over the grooves with my tips of my toes. His hand slowly moved to my calf and he started to caress it. My look wandered from his hand on my calf, over my foot at his chest, to his deep blue eyes. We stared at each other for a second, intensity building between us, until his eyes wandered along my leg to my stomach where they hesitated a short moment, before contemplating my breasts. I felt the urge to stretch a little more, to show him a little more, but I refused to give into my urges. Not now anyway. So instead, I let my lips twitch into a small smirk. His glance rested for a while on my breasts before our eyes met again. And it wasn't long before his piercing stare started to take effect. I bit my lower lip and suddenly he grabbed my calf and pulled me into the water. I looked at his face as I moved closer to him till my breasts almost touched his chest. I stopped and waited. His hand touched my thigh, moved up to my hip and then on my back, just above my butt.

First I let my fingertips wander over his gorgeous stomach muscles before my hand explored his chest. When I stretched my arm to touch his shoulder my whole body moved and my breasts finally grazed his body. He immediately pulled me close to him. There was nothing between us except thin, wet and skin-tight material. I curled my arms round his neck and pulled him close as his hand wandered to my butt, his fingers digging into the soft flesh. Our lips met and within a few moments our tongues found each others and began to tease. Quiet moans were audible. My tongue circled his, made a quick move and my tip nudged his invitingly. It wasn't only his tongue I wanted to treat like that. His moan let me suggest that he knew exactly what I was thinking. His hand on my butt wasn't very reluctant anymore and his grip tightened. I wanted more.

My tongue pampered his lower lip before I began to suck it with pleasure. His tongue attended to my upper lip until my mouth was addicted to his once more. Now his tongue glided along mine and his tip finally stroked against mine. Was that what he wanted to do? All I could think of was his tongue, and where everywhere else I wanted it to be. My body pressed against his as my loud moan echoed around the swimming pool. This really was the wrong place for this. Our tongues stopped but were still tangling. I knew I should end it, but before I slowly pulled my tongue back I teased his tip one last time. A surprised, but quiet, moan was his answer before I felt his lips on mine form to a smile. I had to smile too, as my lips surrounded his lower lip and tugged on it for one last time.

"Maybe we should move our exercise session to a different place," I murmured against his lips before I looked up at him with a lustful gaze.

"Maybe you're right," he sighed. And then his lips twitched into a cheeky grin. "But maybe you can come and release some tension in my room later?"

I let my fingers wander down from his nape over his back to his swimming trunks waistband. I let them slip in, just an inch, and slowly began to wander along the waistband. His lips start to move but they didn't form words, they were trembling.

"And I guess …" My fingers stopped on his side. " … It's not just your shoulder?"

* * *

First… Second… Third… Damn, hell, pick up… Fourth… I knew what happened next… Fifth… Mail box… Shit… Beep…

_Nat__! Pick up the damn phone… Please… _I realized that I was talking to her mail box, not the answering machine. She couldn't hear me even if she was close. _Need to talk to you. Immediately! As soon as you can. Please… If you can't call, I'm on ICQ, but don't know for how long._ That was it!

_**Mulder'sScully **__Checked ur mailbox? Need 2 tlk 2 u… ASAP… No guys_

I stared at the laptop screen. She wasn't online but I was still waiting for something to happen. She would receive my message the second she turned on ICQ. That was all I could hope for. I just wanted to talk. I just needed to talk. And just with a girl. What I wanted to say was definitely not for guys' ears.

I decided I should start to get ready for the evening. A shower would be the right thing to bridge the waiting time, and that could be long. I took off my sweaty clothes and went to the bathroom. I turned the radio on and turned up the volume. My shower wasn't that hot but it was enough to fill the room with steam. There was no window in the bathroom and I had forgotten to turn on the fan. I didn't like the annoying sound. I just wanted to listen to the radio.

" … _sinking my fingertips into every inch of you cause I know that's what you want me to do … "_

Yeah, that was what he wants me to do. I knew it. I'd seen it! He didn't hide it! And I didn't hide it either. I went over to the mirror which was completely steamed up. I couldn't see anything. Naked and still wet, I stood there and glanced at my own silhouette. Little streams of water were running down from my hair over my back and legs. Soon I stood in a little puddle. I wiped my hand over the mirror to see more but I just smudged the clamminess. I jumped when I heard ICQ from the other side of the door and hurried to get ready in the bathroom. With just with a towel wrapped around me, I hobbled to my laptop on the bed.

_**Queen-Of-Harts **__ASAP enough?_

_**Mulder'sScully **__yay! was afraid I had to wait the whole nite_

_**Queen-Of-Harts **__sounds important_

_**Mulder'sScully **__? actually not_

_**Queen-Of-Harts **__spare me the suspense, tell me_

Before I could reply, my video call channel opened and asked me to answer the incoming call. I clicked 'yes' with a sigh. Nat was sitting on her couch at home. She was wearing casual clothes and her cat Gismo was rambling around.

"Jeez Nat, impatient as always… I just got out the shower! Give me a minute …" I said, getting up and walking to the wardrobe to hunt for the right clothes for the evening.

"Sure Brae! So what's up? How are you?"

"I'm great. Rehab is really interesting …," I paused.

"And what is so interesting about rehab?" She got the hint.

I hobbled back to the bed and looked at Nat with a beseeching stare. "Don't tell anyone! Promise! Swear!"

"Sounds serious! What have you done?" she smirked. "I swear I won't tell Adam or Jay or anyone else!"

Even though she smiled I knew she would be honest with me, but why did she have to mention those two? I didn't want to think about that. I just wanted to tell her.

"I met a guy!"

"Look out … a guy. What else is rehab good for?" she laughed but quickly became serious again. "Brae, a guy? Don't you think you should concentrate on your recovery? And, y'know, wait till after rehab?"

"Oh, come on, Nat! Rehab is so serious and unspectacular. The only thing I'm really busy with is wasting my time and being bored. It's just harmless fun! A fling! That's all! Don't take it so serious. Believe me, the second I walk out of this place, I probably will have forgotten his name already! How do you say? What happens in rehab stays in rehab!"

"Let's hope so, for your sake anyway. And his!"

She shook her head, laughing. I couldn't help but join in.

"So, you met this guy!" she went back to this. "How well do you know him by now? You said it's a fling? So you been in his bed yet?"

"Nat!" I almost screamed. "No, not … in bed."

"Brae!" Now she was almost screaming. "Where did you then get 'down and dirty'?"

"Nowhere! I mean, not so down and dirty as you think. Not really now! Just… Almost…" I sighed "… in the pool!"

"Why am I not surprised that a pool is included?"

We both collapsed into a giggling fit.

"So," she mused. "How did all this happen?"

"Whew… You know… We talked about rehab and so… Nat! Fuck the 'blah, blah, blah'! Yesterday he had his hands on my thighs and unfortunately _just_ on my thighs. And before you ask, I know you would, yes I did check out the distance between his thumb and pointer. And then today we had aqua therapy together and we kinda extended it a little when the physiotherapist left …!"

"Oh lord!"

"I swear that would have been my next though if he'd carried on kissing me like he did!"

"So what did stop him from sending you straight to heaven and back?"

"We were in a public pool …"

"Really _THAT_ stopped you? Now I am surprised! Once you told me that there's nothing better for you then to have sex in a pool, even if it's in public. That never stopped you before! It didn't stop you in the car, in the changing cubicle… Where else? The elevator?"

"Nat! This was a little different! In a relationship you just sometimes try something new, especially when you're young … and horny. I haven't done this for such a long time." I pouted. "In therapy the next patients could have come in at any moment!" I paused "We … well, I got a bit loud, a little too loud even for our ears!"

"That's all happening really quick!" she smirked. "What's next?"

"So, if you want to know, I'm on my way to get 'down and dirty' with him. Just getting ready in fact. Meeting him in an hour!" I grinned triumphantly.

"Braeden!"

"What Natalie?"

"Then all that remains to say is that I wish for you that you have every reason to be loud tonight!"

"Well like I said earlier, yesterday I admired the size of his hands and the length of his fingers and today I saw the bulge of his swimming trunks …" I winked. Nat laughed. "I think I'm going to be a very, _very_ lucky girl."

Nat's dirty laugh echoed around my room. Or was that my laugh?

"Tell me all the little dirty details soon! Have fun! And don't do anything I wouldn't do!"


	6. Safety first

**Disclaimer: … Thanks: reviews & adds (you're my motivation, readers) Beta-reader: 'make more of it' - rkolove. Thank you so much!**** You know what especially for! Special: if anyone reads this from Birmingham, Alabama or Canada, please don't be mad with me. It's just fiction! Please see it as a kind of adoration. I would NEVER mean it in a bad way (I love Canadians too much and I'm sure that Birmingham is really great. I've never been there, so if anyone wants to invite me: I'm here!).**

Preparations. So many decisions, so many things to keep in mind and so many things that could go wrong. Where to start? Oh man … take a deep breath and then start with the easiest thing. Okay, hair? I stood naked in the bathroom in front of the mirror as I took the towel from my head. My hair fell down and covered my breasts. Thoughtfully I looked at it for a moment, not exactly sure what to do with it, before I swept it backwards. It was long enough that I could just leave it as it was – I twisted a strand around my finger, thinking. As I let go off the strand it fell down and grazed my breast like the touch of a finger. So wear it down? I didn't wear it down that often but I actually liked it the best. And to have a knot at the back of my head would just irritate me… Especially if I ended up on my back. Decision: hair down! Make up? Not too much. Definitely nothing on the lips. A little bit around the eyes. Oh, I had this new "Super-Stay-Long-Anti-Smudge-24-Hours-Foundation-Make-Up" with me. Sounded good, was expensive, and now was the right time to test it.

I left the bathroom and walked to the wardrobe. Some decisions were so damn easy. Shoes? I couldn't wear high heels, and anyway I had none with me. And there was no way I would be wearing sneakers for tonight. So the black ballerina flats. Advantage: easy to take off. Underwear? Hmmm… I thought about how seductive it should be. My thoughts drifted back to the kiss in the pool. So maybe there wasn't any need for seduction – it just needed to be sexy. And that meant something that made me look sexy in it. Okay, a little bit seductive but not too obvious. My cherry-red, satin push-up bra caught my eye. It looked like the perfect mix, especially when combined with the appropriate thong.

Then it became tough. Jeans or skirt? With my injury, the skirt would fit better. But shirt with or without buttons? For his injury, a shirt with buttons would be better. So skirt and shirt with buttons? Too obvious! Skirt and shirt without buttons or jeans and shirt with buttons? If he wanted the prize he could work for it! Black, knee-length skirt and wine-red top with short sleeves, without buttons. If he couldn't take it off, then I would willingly help him. I couldn't go without my crutches but what about the splint? It wouldn't look very good under a skirt. And besides, I wasn't entirely sure how long I would wear it. I decided to go without it.

I wanted to take a final look in the mirror. As I past my laptop, I saw out of the corner of my eye someone join ICQ. Adam! Shit! I immediately logged out of ICQ and closed my laptop. Why was I still logged in? After I talked to Nat I had forgotten to log out. Damn! I hoped that he hadn't seen me. If he would ever ask me … but he wasn't like that. No Adam today, no Adam this evening, no Adam right now. No, no, no … no Adam!

* * *

I was a little nervous as I stood in front of his door. One last deep breath. I had my crutches in the one hand, my purse in the other. My purse. I smiled, because I knew its content. Massage oil and condoms. Why had I such things with me in rehab? Just being prepared for every possible situation. But why did I think I had to be prepared for this? Just in case. It didn't make sense but obviously this was the case. I wondered but I hoped that I would use the contents of my purse in the course of the evening.

I knocked. He let me in and eyeballed me from tip to toe.

"Hi," he said in a quiet voice. "You look great."

He looked great too, in his long sleeve, black shirt with buttons and simple, but damn well-fitting, blue jeans. I bit my lip, trying not to smirk.

"Thanks. You look good too."

"Thank you." He looked down at me again and noticed that something was different. "No splint?"

"No sling?"

It was not really a question and I didn't expect an answer. But he had one as his lips laid on mine.

"It gets in the way."

I let my crutches fall and threw my purse somewhere in the direction of the bed before I wrapped my arms around his neck. This kiss began where the kiss in the pool had ended. Our lips slipped with soft movements into one another. I tried to catch his lower lip as his tongue slightly parted my lips for more. But I didn't want more right now. I had something else in my mind. I slipped away from the kiss.

"Didn't you say you're tense?"

"I am."

I let my fingers slide inside his shirt collar and put some soft pressure on his muscles.

"I can feel it …"

"You're going to release it?"

"Take your shirt off then."

"Help me?"

He looked down at me as I opened the first button. I just looked at his chest that now slowly appeared. I ran my fingers over his warm, smooth skin to the next button. Soon all buttons were open and I ran my hands over his body that was now at my mercy. My hands slipped under his shirt and I kissed him as I tugged his shirt from his shoulders.

"Are my hands warm enough?"

"Couldn't be more comfortable!"

He kissed me and dragged me slowly with him. He let himself sink onto the bed and lay comfortable onto his stomach. He rested his head on his left arm, looking in my direction. His injured right arm was left to lie straight next to his body. My purse was lying next to the bed. I took out the massage oil out of it and drizzled some over his back. With my healthy right knee I knelt on the edge of the bed while I stretched out my injured leg. He watched me attentively the whole time.

I slowly applied the oil all over his back before I began to knead his neck and shoulders. First with soft pressure over his tattoo, and then I tried to dig my fingers into his muscles. The sounds coming from him were almost the same as he'd made on the bench. And pretty soon, I was sure I would be making the same sounds too. The lines of his back were almost as attractive as his front especially because they were accentuated from the oil. To touch him was so intense. I slowly massaged down his back, trying to touch every inch of his skin. My hands swayed close to his waistband. I looked at his tight butt and wanted immediately to slip my hand into his jeans. But my position on the edge of the bed became too awkward for my knee. My hands made some final movements over his whole back before I let go off him and got up from the bed.

I looked at him. His eyes were closed and his breathing was heavy. Looked liked I was successful with releasing his tension. The tension in his back anyway. His eyes slowly opened.

"I like your hands," he murmured as he got off the bed and came real close. "So, " he leant in "what about a little more?"

His lips met mine before I could even think what to say. Not that I needed to say anything. Instead I laid my hands onto his lower back again and caressed him. My hands, still slick from the oil, wandered from his back to his stomach, over his chest to his neck where my hands kneaded everything they could reach. His injured right arm found its place on my butt while his other one slipped under my shirt and caressed every inch of my back below my bra. When he reached the hem of my shirt he hooked it in between his thumb and pointer and moved his hand up again, taking my shirt with it. A few moments later my shirt fell to the floor, I sank onto the bed and pulled him with me.

When he was lying on top of me he tried put his weight onto his forearms as his kisses wandered down my neck. But it seemed to be that he could just put weight on his left forearm. I felt him shift his weight on his legs. So I spread my legs to make room for his. But I couldn't spread my legs a lot. The disadvantage of a skirt. He tried to exploit the little room best possible. While attempting to find the best position he hit my knee.

"Shit!"

"What's wrong?"

"My knee." I grinned as I looked into his concerned face.

"Maybe we should try something else?"

"What's on your mind?"

As he kissed me I felt his hand gently slide under my butt, making sure that his hand went _over_, not _under_, my skirt. Not that I would have cared. But his hand over my skirt just meant that he accidentally pushed my skirt up. As his fingers touched my thigh again, I had already forgotten the little pain in my knee. I gasped as I leant back and as his fingers pressed into the soft flesh, a moan escaped from my lips. With pleasure his fingers made their way down my leg and gently hooked it over his. His fingers stayed as they were, as he gave me a quick little kiss. I had wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tight as I tried to catch more kisses. But, with a little smirk, he moved back. And he took me with him. When I had moved up a little he kissed me and his kiss and his fingers on my leg, that now took full advantage, nipped my protest in the bud as he wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me tight, before he rolled over on to his back, taking me with him. I chuckled as I found myself on top of him.

"I think I can come to terms with this," I whispered before I kissed him again.

His hand caressed my back as my lips slowly blazed a trail over his chest. His hand slid to my head, he ran his fingers through my hair and his moan made my hand wander over his stomach, to his jeans but I couldn't reach the damn button. I let my tongue glide along his chest muscles, which caused a louder moan, as I wanted to slide over a little bit to his side that I could reach the button. But instead of moving a little bit on him, I slid next to him: directly onto his arm. He breathed sizzled through his teeth and he quietly groaned, what definitely sounded different than before. I immediately got off.

"Everything okay?" Now I was concerned that I hurt him.

A chuckle was his answer. I smirked. This was just about to become unintentionally funny. I had nothing against some fun but somehow I imagined it to be a bit different.

I got off the bed and looked around. There had to be a solution. I didn't want to stop. I didn't want it to end like this. I didn't want to give up yet. My eyes caught something that could work. With a whimsical smile I grabbed his hand and dragged him with me.

I hobbled slowly backwards as we kissed till my foot hit what I had just seen. The dresser. When he realized what I had on my mind, his touches and kisses became even more intense. His hand on my back wandered to my bra and played with the buckle. And I could finally open his jeans button. The first of five buttons.

I had seen that there were magazines lying on the dresser. I turned around in his arms and brushed everything off the dresser. He gave me no chance to turn back again. His arm around my waist was holding me tight as he moved my hair to one side. I felt his lips on my neck and I moaned as I leant my head to the side. His kisses wandered to my bra-strap which he pulled down with his teeth from my shoulder. His hand slowly began to wander. It made its way over my stomach, to my hip, over my waist and finally he touched the side of my breast. His tongue sank in the hollow of my shoulder as he moved his hand on my breast. His soft kneading didn't only make me moan and I wanted nothing more than to be on the dresser. I turned around again and in between the hot kisses I tried to push myself up on to the dresser but my injured knee let me no chance to get there on my own. My lips made its way to his ear.

"Lift me up!"

Within seconds his hands were holding my butt tight and he easily lifted me up. When I was almost on the dresser I heard him hiss through his teeth again. Before I realized what was happening he loudly groaned in pain and let me fall. I landed heavily on the dresser and my injured knee hit the edge.

"Damn shit …" For a very short moment the pain felt like the same as when I had first injured it. I clutched my knee and I felt my face contorted with pain. It wasn't only the pain, I was afraid. And I was afraid about what had happened to him. I looked up. He was holding his arm, his face screwed up an agony. Oh my God!

"Randy? Are you alright?"

He glanced at me. His face turned from pain to a smirk before he began to chuckle and then to laugh. I couldn't believe it. This situation wasn't real, it couldn't be. It was so surreal. But so funny. I thought my laugh would kill me as I sat on the dresser. It took us a few minutes to calm down again. Every time we looked at each other we started to laugh again. Tears were streaming down my face and my stomach was aching so much. I almost couldn't breathe anymore as I finally calmed down a little more.

"I think this wasn't the best idea for two half-invalids," I chuckled.

"It was definitely worth a try but somehow I thought this would end a bit different, and not almost in hospital."

"It might have worked better in the pool," I grinned. "We could sneak off there at night?"

He came closer to me and kissed me. "Come here," he wrapped his arm around me and carefully helped me down from the dresser.

"How about we have lunch together tomorrow?" I asked not sure about how to go on.

"What about an appetizer right now?"

I answered his question with a kiss. And I was glad that the evening wasn't over already. Even we had to learn the hard way that sex was not a possibility, but there was so much else to spend our time doing: kisses, snuggle, making out.

* * *

"You don't have a love-trail!" I pouted.

"What?"

"A luck-path!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!"

It was midday break and we had just finished having lunch together. Yesterday evening was the appetizer and now it was time for dessert. We were lying on Randy's bed again. He leant against the headrest and I was lying on top of him and we were enjoying our dessert as much as the appetizer. Possibly more …

"Americans!" I sighed.

"I actually assumed already that you're not from here," he surprised me. "I thought I'd heard a little accent, but I wasn't sure."

"When did you hear an accent?"

He smirked. "There were some sounds, y'know, last night that just sounded different."

"Yeah, in some situations you can't deny your origin," I laughed. "But you still haven't heard what else maybe sounds different!"

"I can't wait to find out," he whispered before our kiss left us breathless.

Maybe this sort of talk wasn't appropriate.

"So where you're from?" he mumbled against my lips.

"Germany."

"German! I've been to Germany a few times," he didn't stop kissing me. "What city?"

"I moved around a lot. I grew up in Cologne, studied in Berlin and worked in Munich."

"Berlin was great and Munich was beautiful. Where do you live here? NYC, LA?"

I just snorted with laughter. "Birmingham."

"Alabama?" he asked disbelieving. I nodded. Now he snorted too. "What the hell are you doing there?"

"I live and work there."

"Yeah, what else? There's not much more to do."

"I can't tell you how happy I was to be in Birmingham after my accident. I had my knee surgery there too. I work in a hospital and I was so glad that my chief of surgery did my operation. Sometimes it's really an advantage to be a doctor," I laughed. "But doctors are the worst patients and I guess I proved that. Maybe that's why I hate rehab so much, y'know, so many doctors that know what's good for you," I chuckled.

He looked at me. No, he stared at me. "You're a doctor? In Birmingham, Alabama?" he repeated.

"Yes, a surgeon, everything to do with bones, ligaments, tendons and muscles, sport or orthopaedic injuries. Have you ever been in Birmingham? In hospital? My chief of surgery operates a lot of sport injuries. He seems to be famous in the sport industry. Dr. Andrews. Ever heard of him?"

Randy looked surprised, verging on pure shock. "Are you kidding me? Dr. Andrews saves sport careers. Birmingham is a medical location for the company I work for. I had my surgery there too. And it wasn't my first there."

"I probably would have been at your surgery if I hadn't been injured myself. In medicine circles, Dr. Andrews is very famous. That's why I wanted to work with him. And that's why I moved to Birmingham."

"For how long have you working there now?"

Even I liked that he was so interested, I didn't really want to talk anymore, but he deserved an adequate answer. I grinned as I kissed him. Once. I paused. I kissed him. Twice. I paused. And then I finally kissed him for a third time, this time, for a little bit longer. I felt his lips on mine form to a smile.

"Am I right in guessing that you just tried to tell me that you've done that for three … years?"

"Yes, almost. It looks like we understand each other without words. So enough talk?" My lips were so close to his again.

"Braeden it's just… the thing… did you…?" He took a breath. His eyes moved like he was thinking about something, but he hesitated to ask or say it. He opened his mouth but seemed to suddenly change his mind. He breathed out and smiled.

"But still… It's Birmingham!" he laughed. "Most people that I know from outside the States, move to NYC or LA or Miami. It seems to be that almost everybody from outside likes to live in Florida at least once in their life, and after a while they complain about the hot weather. Some of my friends and co-workers live in the Sunshine State, mostly in Tampa."

I laughed. "Yeah, I know, some of my friends from Canada live in Tampa."

"Yeah, right, Canadians always wants to live in Florida but they can't stand the heat. Best example!"

We laughed.

"Canadians! But what was that what you said about Americans? That was our actual subject. What did you say I was missing?"

My hand under his shirt wandered to his stomach. "A love-trail, a luck-path … whatever else you want to call it. The hair that men usually have between their belly button and their private zone. You don't have it!"

"And that's a disadvantage?" he laughed.

"I don't mind, but what's going to show a girl the way?"

"I'll show you!" he smirked before he kissed me.

My phone rang, the reminder alert. We didn't stop kissing but before I could get my phone Randy had already grabbed it, turned off the alert and thrown it out of my reach.

"I have to go!" I mumbled.

"You don't wanna go right now, huh? Don't you have a few minutes left?"

"I had a few minutes left a quarter of an hour ago, but I really have to go now."

"Is there nothing I can do to change your mind?" he asked. "Or I just don't let you go!" he smirked as his hand slit in my jeans and his finger wrapped around my thong.

"Do you want to force me to take it off?"

A glow in his eyes was the answer and I realized that I hadn't asked such a stupid question for a while. He pulled on my thong.

"Randy!" I squealed.

"Doesn't seem to be the most comfortable underwear?" he chuckled. "How about I help you to take it off?"

I sighed. "If you're able to lift me up you can have it. I promise."

"Hey! What about you? I'm not the only one that's disabled! _You_ can't bend your knee!"

"That's why I immediately have to go to my therapy. Now! That obviously has advantages for both of us."

He had nothing more to say. What else was left to say? Shoot, hit, dead. The ultimate killing argument!


	7. Four seasons in one day: Summer

**Disclaimer: … Adds: Thanks. Reviews: A special thanks to all the readers who takes some time to write a few words. I love to read all of this. It means a lot to me. Beta-reader: rkolove, this was a hard peace of work, but we finally made it. YAY! I wish that this story never ends, so I never have to stop working on it with you.**

I was tired. I hardly slept the night before. Not that I regretted it. Randy had come to my room the previous evening, and now my bed was a mess. He didn't stay the night. I had thrown him out and he deserved it. He would definitely get payback for what he did. But we never actually stayed in each other's room over night.

I had just got back to my room from breakfast and I still had some time before my first therapy unit started. So I laid on my messy bed. It was Thursday. Thursday was a stupid day. Both mine and Randy's schedules overlapped so much that we had no time to see each other. No breakfast, no coffee, no lunch, no midday break, no bench… Maybe dinner or some time in the evening when we weren't too tired. But where there was a Thursday, there was a Wednesday before, and we always managed to enjoy our Wednesdays.

It was strange. I had never spent a lot of time with lovers with anything else but sex. But to be honest, actually we weren't really _lovers_. Something was missing to call us _lovers_, but we were working on it and I didn't want to miss the strange excitement anymore that I had every time we were working on it.

A knock at the door brought me back to Thursday. There was only one person who that could be. He had definitely left his sign, and that's not just in my bed. The pillows he had put behind his back were still leaning squeezed against the headboard. And he had forgotten his watch. Too bad. Usually he didn't take it off but in the heat of the moment he had scratched me with the metal strap. He immediately took it off and went to place it on the bed-side table. But he didn't pay attention to it and let the watch fall where he thought where the bed-side table was. I've just heard the sound of metal hitting the floor. That wasn't the bed-side table. He must have heard it too, but he didn't care. He was just too busy. So I picked it up and put it on the bed-side table in the morning, where it still laid. It reminded me that the scratch of his watch-strap wasn't the only mark he left on me that night…

I didn't expect him to show up that early though. Even though I knew that he wouldn't have much time I smiled as I stood up from my bed and hobbled over to the door. I tried to look bored as I opened it. But when I saw who was on the other side I was suddenly anything but bored. It wasn't Randy who was visiting me. Blonde hair, bright smile … and much smaller than Randy.

"Nat!"

"You still recognize me then."

"Thank Skype."

We embraced each other as we squealed with glee, giggled and talked excitedly at the same time.

I heard a quiet groan. Where one blonde Canadian was other ones couldn't be far away. I hadn't seen him before. I supposed it was how they'd planned it to be. It was so mean. I let go off Nat and looked at him.

"Hey hun."

"Jay, I'm so glad that you're here too."

He pulled me in a hearty embrace. Unfortunately I couldn't enjoy this, because I quickly found myself wondering where the third in the Canadian trio was. It just wouldn't be right if he wasn't here.

"I'd told you that you should wait for me," Adam shouted as he hurried to come to my room.

When his voice echoed down the hallway I felt a smile on my face. Not just a smile. I was aglow with happiness! I couldn't believe it. Adam was really _here_. Did this realization just let my stomach do a little flip? He hadn't said anything to me about it. I loved surprises but this was quite a shock. I felt my heart beating fast but I tried to calm down, I tried to control my excitement, I took a deep breath and let the enjoyment of seeing him wash over me.

"You stop and talk to almost every person who you meet here," Jay let go of me. "Nat didn't want to wait until tomorrow to visit Brae."

"Shut up, Jay," Nat laughed.

"Be happy that you wasn't a part of this girlie reunion," Jay kept on joking.

I stood in the hallway and watched Adam hurry towards my room. As I slowly started to hobble towards him without my crutches, he stopped a few feet away from me. I wanted to show him how far I had come in therapy. I wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted him to know that I was working hard on my recovery. He waited patiently with a smile and let me walk over to him.

It was just a few feet until I finally could wrap my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms so tightly around my waist that I almost couldn't breathe anymore but that didn't seem to be important in this moment. I didn't know what to say. I just wanted to hold him this close.

"I've missed you," I finally heard myself say.

I didn't know why I was even saying this. It was true but there had been longer periods of time in which I hadn't seen him. I had never said this before even though I wanted to but now I didn't want to and it just came out.

"I've missed you too," Adam whispered softly.

Why was he saying this? He had never said this before too. But I couldn't think about that because my senses were distracted by something else. I clung at him as his scent overwhelmed me. His aftershave - Old Spice. I loved that scent. No. I loved that scent on him. And he knew it! With my eyes closed, I inhaled his captivating scent. Why was he doing this? I was sure that it had no meaning. It just couldn't. I mean, this was Adam. My _friend_ Adam. I, for one, just tried to see him as a friend, even he was a very _close_ friend. Nothing more. Or? And anyway, I was pretty sure that I was just Braeden, his _friend_ Brae.

Suddenly something gently tickled my nose. I giggled as I opened my eyes and saw it was his scruff. His scent had pulled me so close to him. I just couldn't stop sniffling as he softly kissed my cheek.

"You're wearing Old Spice!"

"Just a little bit," he said quietly into my ear as his scruff now tickled my cheek. I giggled again.

"But why do you wear after shave if you don't shave?"

"It's no after shave. It's cologne," he pouted. "I thought you would like it!"

"I do!"

Even though I wanted to cling to him for the whole day, I slowly let go off him. I didn't know how to handle this situation. It felt so good. I felt so good when he was around. He was looking down at me with his irresistible smile. The smile that I'd seen so many times before. The kind of smile that really makes you go weak. The smile that had made me go weak so many times before. I tried to stay strong. But I couldn't stand his hopeful look. I looked away. I had to do something. I had to break out of this situation. I stared at his chest.

"You didn't even shave your chest for me," now I pouted with a mixture of disappointment and indignation as I saw some of the light hair that peeked out of his shirt. I grabbed and pulled it.

"Ow shit… Braeden," he immediately covered my hand with his. "Why would I…" he grumbled "… if you gonna rip it out for me?"

I thought he was pretending until I felt some of his hair between my fingers. Damn! I really had ripped some of it out. I immediately felt guilty and wanted to apologize. That wasn't my intention. I just wanted to tease him a little bit and now I felt stupid. Great!

He held my hand on his chest. He carefully took my fingers and caressed the part of his chest with my fingertips where I had ripped the hair out.

"That feels much better."

Now he used all of his weapons and I felt like I had no defence. Why was he doing this? Why was he saying this? We were friends. Why did this have this effect on me? I just stared at our hands on his chest. Why was I doing that? His hand was still on mine but he didn't move my fingers anymore. I was moving them. I gently caressed his chest as he moved a strand of my hair from my face.

"You two should get a room."

"Fuck off Jay!"

Even though I hardly understood what Adam just had mumbled I could tell by the look of his face that he was pretty embarrassed, like me, and pretty mad. I hadn't seen this side of him very often, hardly ever. He was usually a relaxed and funny guy and to make him _that_ mad it took a while or you just had to hit a sore point. And Jay knew exactly how to make Adam mad.

I just had to smirk because I knew what usually happened next. These two guys were like 'Waldorf' and 'Statler', when they were drunk, what rarely happened, it was more like 'Beavis' and 'Butt-Head'. But why was Adam so mad about Jay's stupid joke? It was a joke, wasn't it? It wasn't the first one about him and me, and it wouldn't be the last one. Did everybody know that there was maybe something true about that joke? Maybe I wasn't the only one who felt somehow caught? Did Jay hit the right point? I loved Jay's warped sense of humour but even I felt that his jokes about Adam and me had a more serious undertone with every time.

"Good that I already have one," I tried to wipe the hint of seriousness away with a smile.

* * *

"What are we going to do?"

"I have a surprise for you," Adam smiled.

"I love surprises!"

"I know. That's why I called my friend, Dr. Carter, and asked him if it's possible for you leave the rehab centre for one day. And that's what we're doing today, what we're doing right now."

"Really?"

He nodded, grinning.

"Awww … great!"

The centre wasn't that bad but it could be incredibly monotonous sometimes, except for the extra-curricular activities. I couldn't wait to get out of there, even it was just for one day. That wasn't only a surprise, it was a fabulous gift. I could only thank him with a hug. Something inside of me just wanted to take every chance to be close to him. And the way he hugged me back let me think that he appreciated how I thanked him.

"I just have to get some things."

"And we still have to get someone. We need to get another friend and then we can leave."

Another friend? Another knock at the door caught my attention and I didn't have time to think about what he'd just said. I hobbled over and opened the door without thinking.

"Hi," Randy's usually deep and manly voice sounded so soft.

"Hey," I was surprised but happy to see him.

I slipped through the door, pulled it almost shut behind me and leant against the doorframe. I hadn't thought of him in the last minutes.

"Did you sleep well last night?"

"Yes, pretty good."

"I hope that you had nice dreams…" he smiled as he slowly reached out his fingers to gently touch my forearm.

I would never tell him _how_ nice they were after his visit. So I just smiled back. Actually I would have asked him to come in and he looked like he was expecting me to ask that.

"I have visitors."

"Oh … "

He was surprised, but his warm smile let me know that he was happy for me. He knew that I had wanted to have visitors for a while.

"So what are you doing here?" I was just enjoying his touch. "I thought you would be doing your therapy."

"I've got visitors too. I got a text message yesterday evening but I just saw it when I was back in my room. I think I was too distracted before." His suggestive smile was infectious. "I think we'll leave the centre and I just wanted to let you know that I don't know when I'm back in the evening."

"It's okay. We're going to hop off too, so I don't know anything yet."

"Ah okay."

We were quiet, but it was a pleasant silence. I just watched how his fingers ran over my skin.

"And… uhm… did I leave my watch here last night?" he asked even though he knew the answer.

"Braeden hun?" Jay shouted from the inside of my room. "Guys are used to wait for girls but Adam is getting impatient, slowly but surely."

I just smiled as I looked at Randy and rolled my eyes playfully about the comment that just came out of my room. Randy looked a little bit thoughtful but he was still caressing my forearm. I looked down the corridor to make sure that there was nobody else who could see us and moved closer to him, almost close enough to kiss him.

"You did forget your watch. You want it back?" I whispered playfully.

"Brae? What are doing? Flirting? Not with Adam? Who you with girl? I wanna know!" Nat was shouting now.

I sighed as I moved away from Randy. The look on his face was now unsure, unsteady and questioning. I turned around to tell Nat to shut up but she had already thrown the door open.

"Nat!" I couldn't believe that she had just interrupted us.

Randy immediately pulled his fingers away from my arm and I turned around to look at him. He stared at Nat and she just stood in the door and stared at him. But it was not a simple stare, it was… unexpected surprise.

"Nattie."

Definitely an unexpected surprise.


	8. Four seasons in one day: Autumn

**Disclaimer: … Adds: Thank you****. It's great to see that you think that my story is worth it to be added to your faves. Reviews: Thank you. I hope you like how everything turns out now. I knew that most of you were waiting for the meeting. But it's just the beginning. Rkolove: not just my beta reader, much more than this: you're inspiration, motivator, confidence, teacher, friend. There are no words to thank you.**

_Nattie_? What the hell was going on here? I could tell by the look she gave me that Nat was asking herself the same question.

"Randy," she smiled as she went to give him a hug.

Now I was the one doing the staring. Randy looked at me over Nat's shoulder, his steel blue eyes questioning and confused. And I was on the verge of losing my composure.

I heard steps and a moment later, Adam and Jay appeared next to me. Nat let go of Randy.

"Did I hear that right?" Jay asked as he also went to hug an even more confused Randy. It obviously didn't help his confusion that he saw how Adam wrapped his arm around me.

"Good to see you. How are you?" Jay asked. "And what are you doing here?"

"Rehab?"

Randy answered like he didn't understand the meaning of the question but he stared at me almost desperate to find an answer, an excuse, a lie as to he was outside my room.

"No," Jay smiled brightly. "What are you doing _here_?"

All the while, Nat was watching me and Randy stare helplessly at each other. Her gaze wandered back and forth between the two of us.

"Yes, what are _you_ doing with _Braeden_?"

What was she doing? I glared at her and it looked like that was answer enough for Nat. It couldn't be more obvious. It took me just a second to realize that she knew it. The expression on her face. Shit! I hadn't told her about _that_ evening but I remembered uncomfortably what I'd already told her. I quickly looked away and she gave me an amused smile, waiting for how we would escape from this sticky situation.

"Um …"

An awkward silence began to swell.

"We actually had arranged to meet for a coffee," I lied impudently, without batting an eyelid even though I hated lying to my friends. But it was just a white lie. And it wasn't really a lie. It might have actually happened if we didn't have visitors. At least that's what I told myself, so as to ease my bad conscience.

Now Nat glared at me. She knew I was lying but she smiled gracious and I smirked relieved.

"Cool, so you already know each other?" Adam summed up our situation as he finally gave Randy an amicable embrace. I felt my heart beating faster. I held my breath. A nightmare. _Just _a nightmare. And I just wanted to wake up! But it looked like my personal nightmare had become reality.

But yes, somehow we already knew each other. You could say so. Even though it was a shock I grinned cheekily and then hung my head to hide it. When I thought that I had gained control over my face again I looked up. Randy seemed to be cool. But I saw that little smirk flicker around the corner of his mouth. He was just playing it cool.

"So, then we're already complete. Shall we go?" Adam asked, obviously eager to get going to whatever he had planned.

"I need my crutches and keys."

I took a little bit more time in my room than I actually needed to get my things but I just needed a moment to get this all straight. Randy and Adam were friends. Adam and I were friends too? And Randy and I were what? And Nat knew it. Whatever. How should I behave? What should I do? How could I make it through this day? It was already awkward. I had to talk to Randy.

I left my room and locked the door. I tried to catch Randy's eye but he was talking to Adam. We walked down the corridor to the elevator and waited for it to arrive. When Randy was looking at me I gave him the 'we really need to talk' look. He just nodded.

"Erm, I've forgotten my purse," I said quickly as the elevator was there and the doors opened.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Adam immediately offered with a smile.

"No need for."

Did his smile just get a whiff of disappointment?

"I left my phone in my room. When you want then I'll go with you," Randy took the chance.

"We already go ahead to the lobby. I'm sure there are still a lot of people Adam wants to talk to. And the receptionist has a lot to tell," Nat smiled as she pushed Adam and Jay into the elevator.

As the doors closed words tumbled out of my mouth.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I wanted to."

"Eh huah!"

"It's true! When you told me where you work and for how long I actually wanted to ask you if you ever did surgery for wrestlers. I thought that you might have known some of my friends and co-workers."

Co-workers? I didn't even have a chance to think where Randy knew Nat, Jay and Adam. Co-workers! Of course. How did I miss that? Sometimes I'm such a fool.

"And I wanted to tell you then," he continued. "But I wasn't sure. I thought there would be no need for to tell you. I told you what I do, not exactly, but you seemed to be okay with it. And you didn't ask about it."

"You didn't seem to be very comfortable telling me about what you do. I didn't want to ask if you didn't want to answer. And actually I didn't think it would change anything."

"Does it?"

"I'm not sure."

Because this was more than awkward I started to play with my room keys as Randy scratched his chin and finally ran his thumb over his upper lip.

"Braeden, this thing between us… You and me… Y'know…"

I couldn't help but grin at his attempt to find the right words. I wanted him to stop talking. I wanted him to stop thinking. I wanted to kiss him. But what had become so easy in the last days, had now become, in the last few minutes, the hardest thing to do. He just smiled.

"It's not a secret, but maybe… Maybe we should keep it to us for now." He said exactly what I was thinking.

I would've agreed but it was too late. I gave him a bashful smile as I nervously chewed my lip.

"Braeden? Who knows about us?"

"Didn't you see it? Nat."

He laughed. "Gals. But it's okay. I think she won't tell anyone else."

"Hey man, don't try to tell me that you didn't tell someone."

He just smirked his little smirk. He _had_ told someone.

"There wasn't much left to tell him because he already figured it out when he saw us at the bench. I guess we were pretty obvious."

"John?" I thought about the day at the bench when his friend interrupted us. "It's cool, but maybe we should be more understated today."

* * *

"Who's gonna go with who?"

Two cars, two possibilities, one decision to make.

"Oh, Randy," Nat started to talk to him. "I haven't told you about it yet but you have to know," she linked her arm through his. "Gismo misses being petted by you."

"Yeah, sure, last time I petted him he scratched my thighs out of thankfulness."

"He has his own way to show what he likes. He didn't mean it."

Randy knew Gismo? Actually I wasn't wondering because Nat brought her cat practically everywhere. I was more wondering where her Gremlin was that day.

"Does anyone else miss me?"

"Actually I would say that all the girls miss you, including me, but if you don't shave any time soon I'm pretty sure that it will change. I have to take a pic of that," Nat joked as she rubbed Randy's scruff before she took her phone out to take a photo of an unshaved Randy.

Randy lifted his arm in the sling. "It's not that easy, Nattie and it's not the same with a shaver. It's nothing compared to a proper wet shave."

She leant against him to show him the photo on her phone. She laughed and he just smiled. It was strange. I wasn't jealousy, I think, but somehow I couldn't put my finger on what it was that made me feel so strange. I just stood there and listened to them talk. I had nothing to say. I couldn't say anything. In fact I felt a little bit left out.

Nat continued chatting to Randy as she dragged him to Jay's car.

"We're full. What a pity. Looks like you two will have to drive together," Jay shrugged and turned around.

Wait! Did Nat get Randy intentionally engrossed in a conversation? What was she already doing again? Obviously she made the decision.

"So, do you wanna drive with me?" Adam asked, like there was still an alternative. But despite that, I still found it cute that he was letting me opt out if I wanted. I could have said that I wanted to go with Jay… But I didn't want that. Of course not. So I smiled and nodded.

Adam opened the passenger door for me. Randy stood with Nat at the passenger door at Jay's car. Nat was still talking and he was smiling but I saw that he was looking at what Adam and I were doing. I didn't want him to see Adam and me close together. He shouldn't get the wrong idea. _Could_ you get the wrong idea?

"I think I can do it on my own," I said to Adam as I tried to lever myself in the passenger seat.

"Sure?" he asked as he reached his hands out for me.

But I was in the seat before he could help.

* * *

"Is everything alright?" Adam asked.

"Why shouldn't it be?"

"Because you haven't said a word since we started to drive and you don't look very happy. Didn't you want us to visit you?"

"No! How could you even think that? I'm so happy that you're finally here. I've been waiting for you to visit since I got here."

"But somehow today seems to be a bad day," he smiled from ear to ear as he tried to tease me. He knew that he could drive me crazy, but instead of giving him the usual playful whack to the arm, which he normally regarded with great amusement, I let his comment wash over me. An unusually relaxed me. But there was a reason why I was so relaxed.

"I'm just tired. Somehow I didn't get much sleep last night," I yawned.

_Somehow_… I smirked to myself. It was Randy's fault… No, actually not… Not really… I remembered that I was the one that had asked for 'five more minutes' last night. And I didn't ask just the once. Luckily I could be very convincing.

But he started it. Why did he have to kiss me _there_? Why did he have to find my _spot_? It was a coincidence. He didn't know about my personal Achilles heel, my weak point. But he found it pretty damn quickly… And he liked it. Strange… Lovers never usually find out such things, they never had to.

I closed my eyes and leant back in the passenger seat. I slid my hand to my side and touched the skin on my left hip. I had no idea why it was so sensitive there, why a kiss on my _left_ hip bone would drive me insane every time. And last night, Randy just loved to drive me insane with his kisses on my spot. Nothing else. But his kisses were intense. I saw a haematoma on my left hip in the shower this morning. But I immediately knew that it wasn't a _normal_ haematoma: it was a hickey. Randy had marked me like a stupid teenager. I was wondering if it was his intention or just an accident. Hmmm? Would you see a hickey on his tanned skin? It was worth a try and maybe he wasn't tanned everywhere…

Randy found out about my spot accidentally. My stomach was making funny sounds. Randy kissed my stomach but his stubble tickled me and I rolled to my side. His next kiss landed on my hip bone. It caught me by surprise and the following sound wasn't from my stomach. That caught his attention. I desperately tried to keep his lips away from my hip bone but that just made him even more interested in it. And his _interest_ made me ask for five more minutes over and over again.

I threw him out of my room way past midnight. He had found out enough about my weakness for one night. And he had too much fun pressing my buttons. I was wondering if he had a spot and if I would find it. I wanted to search for it, but what was the point? We were only lovers, right? Nothing serious, so no need to find spots.

"So you're not mad with me?" Adam interrupted my thoughts. "I thought about telling you, but I know that you like surprises and Nat and Jay preferred the surprise version. So I had to keep the secret."

"I'm glad that you surprised me even it was a bit of a shock," I smiled.

We had stopped at a red light. I watched him and he looked so innocent. I just couldn't resist.

"Thanks for visiting... I didn't know how to make it through the days without you," I leant myself against him until he wrapped his arm around me and kissed my forehead.

When I moved away from him again I looked at Jay's car that drove in front of us. And I saw the steel blue eyes in the mirror of the sun visor watching us.

* * *

It was such a beautiful day and there was no better place in the world than here: Ocean Drive. The ocean was so close. A breeze blew the salty air into my face. The five of us were sitting outside on the first floor at Wet Willies and we were having frozen daiquiris together.

"Excuse me…" I slid from my seat.

Randy and I stole glances at each other as I left for the restroom.

"Wait!" Nat was hot on my heels.

We stayed silent until the restroom door closed behind us. Nobody else was there. And Nat seized the opportunity with both hands.

"Please don't tell me that it's Randy!" she pleaded.

What could I say? I didn't want to lie again, apart from that I couldn't. She already knew the answer but she obviously wanted to hear it from me anyway. I kept silent.

"Brae!"

"If you don't want me to tell you then I won't!" I explained simply. "What's so bad about Randy?"

"Nothing, but why don't you take your time and wait till after rehab?"

I sighed. "It wasn't my aim to find someone in rehab. I didn't know that I was on the hunt for someone. And I really wasn't searching for anything serious."

"Oh, c'mon, when did you last have a boyfriend?"

"I had a serious relationship back in Germany. And when I came here without him we wanted tried to have a long-distance relationship. But we failed."

"And since then?"

"Oh Nat, you know everything there is to know about my love life. I had some dates and I took care of my needs, but I had nothing serious. I cared about my career. It was so much more important for me, and it still is. I work a lot, I have to, I want career advancement. And, at the moment, it's hard to combine a career and a relationship. And it's not fair to have a boyfriend and call it a relationship when you barely see each other and when you do, you just end up in bed."

"And why this thing here with Randy?"

"I don't really know how it happened. I met Randy on possibly the worst day ever. I failed to get rid of him and he bore my bad mood. He was there and he understood. He's in the same situation, and he's here. It just feels so damn good to have someone here who understands that mixture of feelings, your situation, who just takes you in his arms and holds you."

"But don't you think that there's someone outside of rehab who would like to do that?" she asked carefully.

"No?"

"Don't you wish there would be a special someone who would do that?"

I didn't know how to answer her question. I hesitated because I wasn't sure what she meant, or who, or what she knew. I didn't tell her anything.

"Nat, the accident changed a few things. The time after the accident was kind of brutal for me. I realized that there wasn't much else in my life other than my work. And I realized that I missed a lot. I always could take care of myself, but when I sat home alone and had time to think about a lot of things, I wanted someone to be there to take care of me. I felt weak and lonely. I just wanted someone around. But there was nobody. And here, there is someone. And he gives me exactly what I need right now," I sighed. "And the accident changed things between Adam and me."

She looked at me attentively.

"He was there for me," I continued. "He tried. I guess his conscience didn't give him a choice. But it was just as friends, y'know, not the way I wanted it to be, not what I needed."

"You wanted Adam to take care of you?"

"I don't know what I wanted. I didn't want to be alone anymore. I didn't want to be alone in this situation."

"But what are you going to do after rehab?"

"I'll fly home to my parents for a few weeks, meet my friends, have fun, relax and then I'll come back and see what happens."

"So you're still sure that Randy is just a rehab thing?"

"That's how I think about it."

"It's not my business but I have to admit that I don't know what I should think about it. And it's more important what he thinks."

"We still haven't talked about it. There's no reason to. It was obvious what else we were interested in."

She stared at me. "So you did _it_?"

I stared back at her. Was I hearing things? Did she really just ask that? I wasn't sure if I should answer.

"I'm not sure if I want to tell you more about Randy and me."

"Why not? Is there _more_ about Randy and you?" she joked with a wink. "Remember! You wanted to tell me all the dirty little details," she laughed.

"You two seem to be close."

She smirked. "Are you jealous?"

"No." I was upset. How did she know?

"There are no details," I explained.

"No details? What did you do?"

"That's the thing. We did nothing. What do you suggest we do when we're both injured?"

"You're the doctor! You tell me!"

"Not much! And definitely not what you're thinking!"

"No sex?"

"Unfortunately not."

"Don't leave me hanging with that!"

I sighed. "At your own risk. You wanted to know it."


	9. Four seasons in one day: Spring

**Disclaimer: … Adds: Thank you for supporting me and for letting others know that I'm one of your faves. Reviews: Thank you. Can't tell you how much I wait for your opinion every time I post a new chapter. I love every word you have to say to me. Beta reader: rkolove****, I run out of words to express how important you are for the story and me. This definitely wouldn't be possible without you, and that's a fact. Thanks a lot. **

After I delighted Nat with the whole story, including all the sordid details, we were wrapped in our playful and silly mood. Poor guys. You could already hear us from a distance: ditzy giggling and talking excitedly.

But something was strange when we came back to the guys. Randy looked at me in a sad, disappointed and somehow desperate way. He looked even more uncomfortable than before. Actually he looked completely different. Something had changed, dramatically changed, while we were in the restroom. I didn't feel much better about the whole situation but why was Randy acting so strange?

"So where do you two know each other from?" he asked seemingly in passing.

"She hasn't told you yet?" Adam was surprised.

"We didn't talk that much," I answered as I threw Randy a little smirk. He didn't react. I was confused. This morning, we were smirking about all kinds of innuendos.

"Why don't you tell him now."

"_Dr. Miller," Dr. Andrews__ suddenly addressed me._

"_Huh?" I looked up from studying the patient data on my clipboard. _

_A small group of surgeons headed by Dr. Andrews stood together in the single patient's room.__ My co-workers had gathered around the patient's bed while I was studying the medical facts. Some of them seemed to be really interested in this medical case. I couldn't understand why. An Achilles tendon rupture. Even though that wasn't daily business it wasn't exactly extraordinary. We did Achilles tendon surgeries at least once a month, rather more often. I didn't get it. _

"_Your new patient."_

_I smiled thankfully because it was quite an interesting intervention even though I knew that I would just be assisting Dr. Andrews in this operation. My co-workers seemed to be disappointed as I stepped next to Dr. Andrews and looked at the guy in the bed. I hadn't paid a lot of attention to him but that changed in the second I stood in front of him. _

_His smile immediately caught my attention. A prepossessing smile. I didn't know exactly what it was but there was something about the way he smiled at me. Even though he was in hospital with a serious injury he was still smiling this smile. His blonde shoulder-length hair was bound together in a ponytail. I could see that he dyed his hair - the pale blonde colour gave way to the natural darker blonde at the roots. And his beard was a darker colour than his hair, except at the hairline. Even though I didn't actually like beards, I had to admit that it really looked good on him. I guessed that he had a lot of more important things in his mind than shaving. Or he just liked having a beard. I didn't care because I was fascinated by his eyes. These crystal-clear, ocean-blue eyes. A deep ocean you could get lost in… _

_What was I doing? Did I just check out a patient? That was an absolutely 'no-go'. How professional. I was a little bit embarrassed as I shook my head, smiling. _

"_Adam, you haven't h__ad the pleasure of meeting Dr. Miller, my new German team member. She will be looking after everything related to your surgery."_

_I looked up. They already seemed to know each other pretty well. It seemed like it wasn't… I looked at the clipboard again… Mr. Copeland's first stay in hospital. _

"_I'm Dr. Miller," I offered him my hand._

"_Hey, Dr. Miller. I'm Adam… Copeland." H__e shook my hand. "Nice to meet you."_

"_Nice to meet you too," I automatically answered. My professional kindness. Back to business. "Your surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning. We'll do some tests and prepare you for the surgery."_

* * *

_I heard voices from his room as I stood outside in front of the door. I knocked._

"_Yeah?" _

_When I stepped into his room I saw that he had visitors but I still had to make the daily examination of his post-op leg. _

"_Hello Mr. Copeland."_

"_Hey, Dr. Miller."_

_And I couldn't use bystanders._

"_Time to have a look at your leg," I looked pleadingly at his visitors. "Would you please wait outside?" _

"_That's our cue," the man with the short blonde hair said. "We already wanted to go."_

"_You're going already__? Jay, you've only just arrived."_

"_Adam," the woman said. " Please don't be disappointed. I've told you that we can't stay that long this time but we'll come back soon. I promise," she planted a big kiss on his cheek. _

_He sighed. "I know, Nat, but I hoped that you would stay a little bit longer. Glen was here, but he was only here for a brief chat too." _

_I had noticed that he didn't have a lot of visitors since arriving in hospital. He spent a lot of his time on the phone and there were some presents, like flowers, in his room. But there weren't a lot of visitors. And when someone was there they didn't stay for long. It was more like they were only passing through and only had enough time for a brief visit._

"_See you soon," Nat__ said as she hugged Adam. _

_Jay__ hugged him too. "C'mon, just a few more days and you'll be back home. Take care!"_

_And then they closed the door behind them. _

_He__ didn't pay attention to me. He preferred looking at the closed door. I watched him for a moment and he looked pretty bummed out. But why did this make him look even more attractive? Was I doing it again? Checking him out? Surely not, I hoped. _

"_So, how are you today?" I grabbed his patient file and looked at the latest results of his examination: blood pressure, pulse, temperature… Everything okay. _

"_Nothing new," he sighed._

"_Means nothing bad," I smiled. _

"_My leg is itchy."_

"_Do you have any other problems with your leg?" I asked as I pulled the blanket away. _

_He shook his head. _

"_Okay, then I'll take a look at it," I said as I took off the splint. "Where is it itchy? The suture?"_

"_No, here," he rubbed his hand over his shin._

_I smirked. __"I'm really sorry, but I can't help you with that. We had to shave your leg for the surgery, so I guess it's just the hair growing back." Guys!_

"_Oh, I don't shave my legs that often," he laughed. "I guess in future I will have much more empathy for women."_

_I smiled. __"Everything looks good," I tried to make some trivial conversation as I continued examining his leg._

"_Dr. Miller?" _

_The way he said my name, the way he turned my name into a question made me suspicious. I looked at him? What?_

"_Hmm?"_

"_Are you interested in sports?" he asked hesitantly, like he wasn't sure if this was a good question to start a conversation with a woman. _

"_Yeah, a bit, it depends on the sport, and my mood. It's more general like Olympic Games or World Championship events."_

"_Do you like hockey?"_

"_What kind of hockey?"_

"_Ice-hockey!" he stated amused. "Is there any other hockey?" _

"_The German field hockey team is pretty good."_

_He laughed. "So do you like ice-hockey?" _

"_Not really."_

"_Hmmm…"_

_No more questions? __It looked like he had realized that he hadn't picked the best topic._

_I sighed, smiling. "I tried to get into that game but I like to enjoy sports. And ice-hockey is way too fast to enjoy it. I never see the black disc. And there seem to be no rules. What kind of game has no rules?"_

_He burst out in laughter and carried on chuckling as I continued to explain my reasoning. _

"_I really need someone to explain this game to me. But all of my friends refused. I drove them crazy with baseball and football. American sport is so damn complicated." _

_What did I just say? Did I practically call on him to explain it to me? Was I flirting with him? Why couldn't I just think before I open my mouth? I realized that thinking became much harder when he was around. And that was not a good sign._

_He smirked. "I'm the best you can get." Oh, no! "There's a game on TV tonight. Do you want to join me and watch it? I'll explain everything to you," he gave me an irresistible smile. _

"_You know…" I hesitated. "I'm your doctor, and that's all I should be. Doctors and patients… It's not… But…"_

_There was it: this sad and disappointed but attractive look in his eyes. __"Mhh hmmm… I understand… Hmm… __Yeah… Sure… Hmm hmm… Just a stupid thought…"_

_Who could say 'no' to him? __I couldn't do it._

"_When does the game start__?" Why was I setting myself up for trouble?_

_He gave me a questioning look._

"_Maybe… I mean, I have to take a look at your leg again later anyway… And I guess if that happened to coincide with the game that would be okay…"_

_He smiled. "Bring pizza and beer?"_

"_Surely not!"_

_I wasn't a delivery girl, and apart from that, alcohol wasn't allowed in the hospital, and definitely not for patients, especially when they were on strong drugs. Somehow I thought I was probably about to make a big mistake. _

"_I can't promise anything, okay?" I tried to leave myself a backdoor open but trouble had just become such a handsome face._

* * *

_I looked around to make sure that nobody was watching me as I quickly slipped into his room. No time for knocking and no hand free to do so anyway. I felt a bit like a burglar. _

_As I closed the door behind me, I saw he was changing his shirt for an ice-hockey jersey. Not that I minded catching a quick glance… __Definitely not just a handsome face. And definitely nothing to look at for his doctor, unless under strict medical conditions. But maybe… I mean, I could just be checking that there was no need for a full medical examination, right? _

"_Dr. Miller," he smiled. "__I almost didn't recognize you. Where's your doctor's overall?" _

_After I finished work in the afternoon, I had decided to go home, shower and change for the evening. If this was going to be a social evening, I didn't want to set up barriers by staying in my work clothes._

"_And you brought pizza and beer," he smiled brightly. Yeah, and I had organized pizza and beer. How stupid._

"_W__hat pizza do you have?"_

"_I didn't know what you like so I got half-and-half. One half with almost everything and the other with almost everything else."_

"_Sounds great," he smiled before his eyes fell on the beer. "And what beer is that? Doesn't look familiar to me."_

"_Something non-alcoholic."_

_He scrunched up his face. "That's not beer! That's water with flavour."_

"_At least the label says that it's beer! Isn't all American beer just flavoured water, alcohol or not?"_

"_Dr. Miller…"_

_Oh, that__ smile… Trouble was calling my name… But my work name. But this wasn't anything to do with work… So, this was a social event, right? I grabbed a beer and gave it to him. _

"_If you want to… Just call me Braeden."_

"_Gladly! I'm __Adam. Nice to meet you, Braeden. Can I just say what a pleasure it is to have you join me for the game?"_

_Attractive, funny, charming… Just a little crush! Who could blame me?_

_The TV was already on and the game was about to start. The players were on the ice warming up. _

"_Can you skate?" he asked between two slices of pizza._

"_Not very well. I did it a few times when I was a teenager but that's a while ago," I smiled. "I think someone needs to show me again."_

_Why c__ouldn't I just shut up?_

"_I…" he started. Oh, no. "I__… can't at the moment." Phew! That was a close shave! "But, if you still want to, maybe some time after rehab. Just give me your phone number. I'll call you."_

"_Adam," I sighed. "Doctors and patients… Y'know… The same old story."_

"_And what's that right now?"_

_I don't know! Trouble?_

"_An one-time exception!" I didn't believe my own words. I didn't want to believe. I didn't want it to be an exception. Damn! I wanted to see him again, without the constraints of the hospital environment._

"_And you don't want me to call you and tell you how I'm doing?" he continued laying on the charm, obviously still determined to get my number._

_Definitely._

"_And you know everything about my injury and surgery. When some other doctor needs to know something I could just call you."_

"_Not very convincing__…"_

_H__is eyes became honest, sad. "This injury sucks. And I don't know who I can talk to when I feel really bad about this whole crap. I mean, I can always talk to my friends, but they don't really understand," he sighed obviously disappointed. "Jay's never had surgery in his whole life. He has never been under anaesthetic."_

_I thought I had already seen a lot as a doctor, and that I was kind of immune against most things. But this guy was slowly breaking down that immunity though. _

_I sighed. __"You can always call me."_

_Doctors and patients… T__hat never had a happy end._

* * *

"_How did this happen?"_

"_I slipped of__f the second rope."_

_Actually, I was never really interested in how my patients got injured. I was a surgeon. My job was to cut them open, piece them back together and close again. If I wanted to talk to my patients I would have become a psychologist. That's how it should be. That's how I wish it would be, but that wasn't me. I'd learnt during the years to do my job. But there were some things they didn't teach you in med school… _

_After that exceptional evening watching __ice-hockey together, we became close. But I didn't remember anything about ice-hockey. It was hard to concentrate on the game in his company, apart from that I didn't give a monkey's about that game. But he tried his best to explain it to me. Without success. But we both didn't mind. We just had some fun. _

_I spent a lot of time in his room. It wasn't only that he didn__'t have a lot of visitors; he wasn't allowed to leave his bed. The first days after an Achilles tendon surgery you're almost not allowed to move and the first weeks you're only allowed to lay or sit but not to get up in any case. I just wanted to keep him company and I wanted him to keep me company too. So the daily examination became a longer matter especially because his stay in hospital was drawing to a close. He would be gone soon. _

"_What rope?"_

"_Eh… I slipped off the middle ring rope and then I messed up my foot."_

"_What ring?"_

_He looked at me like I was not of this world. _

"_You know that I'm a wrestler, right?" he asked carefully._

"_No," I shrugged nonchalantly. "But heard of it."_

_He gave me that__ look again. _

"_What?"_

"_Nothing, just…" he smiled. "I'm just wondering what's going to happen next?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I have to admit that I'm a bit nervous, maybe a little bit afraid of the next few weeks and months with this injury."_

"_It's difficult to give a prognosis. An Achilles tendon injury always heals differently for different patients. With your physical condition and if you follow your doctors' instructions exactly, it should heal quickly."_

"_Do you have special instructions for me?" _

"_Take your time and be patient. Believe me. You can't do anything to speed up the healing process."_

_He sighed. "Okay, anything else?"_

"_Put your feet up, I would say, for the first month. Your doctor at home will tell you if that's enough. Then you'll start your outpatient rehab, at the beginning, twice a week. And then, when you're ready, you'll go to a rehab centre and then the real part of your recovery starts. Everyday workout and treatment. And when you're back home you'll continue with outpatient rehab. I guess you'll be busy in any case for the next six months at least, but you should be done in nine months at the latest."_

_It looked like it wasn't really music to his ears. _

_There was a brief knock at the door before it opened – whoever it was, wasn't prepared to wait for an answer. His friends - Jay and Nat when I remembered right - came in. _

"_Oh, sorry, should we wait outside?" Nat immediately asked._

"_No, no, I was about to leave anyway."_

"_That's not true. Braeden, you have to meet my friends. This is Natalie…" _

_We smiled at each other and shook hands._

"… _and Jay."_

"_Ah, the guy who has never been under anaesthetic before."_

"_Ah, the woman who has no idea about hockey."_

_How did he know?_

_I laughed. "I do, now. Much more than before."_

"_Oh really? So what do you know about hockey by now?"_

"_Uhm … " Actually nothing more than before but I couldn't admit it. "The ball… This black disc… It's a puck?"_

"_Someone did__ a good job," he laughed ironically at Adam before he turned back to me. "Honey, that's what happens when you let Adam teach you about hockey."_

_Honey? Did I hear that right? Did he really just call me 'honey'? _

"_And whose attempts were in vain to teach you some good manners?"_

"_Ehm... Adam's?" he stated, obviously surprised that it wasn't obvious to me. "You should know by now that his attempts aren't very successful… Hun!"_

_He was pretty quick off the mark and I had to admit that I immediately liked his sense of humour. I couldn't help but smile about his cheekiness._

_The guys started laughing and Nat grinned at me._

"_Nice try, but these guys are beyond hope!"_

"_I wonder how you can stand them." _

"_I have no idea, but I'm always on the lookout for my own sidekick." _

* * *

_Everything was said and done. He was ready to leave. I had signed the discharge papers and now__ I moved him in his wheel chair to the car. I just wanted to make sure that he followed my instructions. _

_I looked at him as he sat in the car. Jay put the __bag in the trunk and Nat was searching for CD's. _

"_Thank__s so much. For everything," he smiled. "I guess you don't know what you've done for me."_

_I stepped closer to him. "Please just promise to call me."_

_Why couldn't I just let him leave?_

_He looked pleasantly surprised. "I promise that I'll call you soon."_

_I was used to saying good__bye to patients. It never meant anything special to me. It was a part of my work. Sometimes it was a little bit harder but feelings and being a doctor were an impossible mixture, especially feelings towards a patient. _

_Doctors and patients__… I didn't fucking care as I wrapped my arms around his neck._

"_Doctors and patients," he whispered in my ear._

"_An one-time exception," I whispered back._


	10. Four seasons in one day: Winter

**Disclaimer: ... Song: Paramore "I caught myself" Adds & Reviews: Thanks a lot. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Beta-reader: rkolove, words? What's left to say? Actions! I'll start to build a monument for you. Maybe I'm done with it at the end of this story. Thank you so much! **

"Hun, while you're at it, tell him about the party," Jay prompted.

"And I'm sure that you just want me to tell the part about you?"

"Which party?"

Randy, of course, had no idea which party we were talking about. Why would he? He wasn't there. I would have definitely remembered if I had seen him there. But I had never seen him with Adam before.

"We had a surprise welcome home party for Adam, the day he came home from rehab," Nat explained. "You were invited too, but you couldn't come. Remember?"

"Ah, yeah… I remember… Yeah, really, especially because a lot of people told me that I'd missed a pretty good party," he smiled. "So what happened?"

"We'll tell you later," Adam interrupted the story before it had even begun. "We made reservations for dinner, so we should probably leave now."

* * *

I sighed. "Don't you think it's a bit... ?" I looked pleadingly at Adam.

"No!"

I knew that resistance would be futile. I had no choice but to accept my fate.

"Go ahead!"

"Go? How funny! I'll laugh about it later, okay?" I sighed, as I was reluctant to turn around and let Adam cover my eyes with his hands.

Blind, and without crutches, I hobbled slowly in the direction where Adam guided me. With my arms stretched out I tried to discover the seemingly endless space in front of me. Even though it was an unfamiliar situation, I trusted Adam without any doubt. And to be honest, I liked what he was doing, even though I would never admit it to him. I giggled. What a pity that we weren't alone.

But what a luck that we weren't alone. Suddenly, I stumbled teetering on the verge of falling flat on my face. And what did Adam? His hands still covered my eyes, so I flailed with my arms desperate to grab onto something, someone... I grabbed an arm - an arm too smooth to be Jay's and too thick to be Nat's. I smiled gratefully in the direction where I guessed Randy would be.

"Adam," Randy muttered. "Be careful!"

"Y'alright?" Adam asked me. "We're almost there."

"Nothing happened. C'mon, I'm getting hungry here."

I was still holding onto Randy's arm even though I had the feeling he wanted to pull away. His arm felt tense. I could feel the coiled muscles, itching to spring into action and release themselves from my grip. Not being able to see, even for just a very short period of time, seemed to have an immediate effect on my senses. Or did I just imagine it?

"Thank you," I said quietly and his arm seemed to relax a little. "I take it you're helping me to achieve my apparent goal?"

He didn't answer but he let me hold his arm until Adam stopped.

"So, here we are. Ready, Brae?"

"Oh c'mon," I said with a mixture of excitement and impatience. "After all this effort you've put into organizing this, I wanna see!"

Adam let slowly removed his hands from my eyes and I let go of Randy's arm. Even though it had only been a few minutes, the sun blinded me that much that I couldn't see anything and covered my eyes again. I heard Caribbean music, and lots of laughter and chatter.

I knew where we were. There was just one place, one restaurant, that sounded like this. And I was amazed that Adam had rememberred it. I had mentioned it once when we had chatted about Miami and my upcoming time in rehab there, but he didn't know the restaurant and had never been there before. So how on earth did he know?

I almost jumped in glee as I finally saw that my assumption was right. "Thank you," I flinged my arms tight around his neck.

"You like it?"

"Like? I love it. It's the best place in the world. You'll see. C'mon!" I grabbed his hand and pulled him with me. And for a brief moment, it was just him and me.

I loved this Haitian restaurant, Tap Tap. The food was so good, so tasty. I don't think I had ever been in a better restaurant. I had been there countless times before and I'd always loved to go there again. The atmosphere was so relaxed. A nice place with excellent food. I could spend the whole evening there, with a man or friends. Somehow I had ended up with the best of both worlds. Or possibly the worst? More than I had wished for anyway.

Randy and I had barely spoken all day, but since we'd left Wet Willies, we ceased to speak at all. Every now and then we caught each other's eye, mostly with a questioning gaze. Luckily we had three friends with us who easily made up for our silence.

"We should throw a party for you too, hun," Jay seized the topic again.

I wasn't in the mood to talk about the party and Randy didn't look like he wanted to hear about it either.

"Please no surprise party because the last time the three of you surprised me, the end was a big surprise, in fact, it was the worst surprise ever," I said firmly, determined to convince Jay that I wasn't a huge fan of Canadian surprises anymore.

My bad sarcasm brought an ironic smirk to Jay and Nat's faces, Adam looked guilty and Randy, once again, had no idea what we were talking about. But it looked like he didn't care about it anymore. He only seemed to be half-listening. That obviously surprised Nat.

"Didn't Brae tell you how she got injured?"

That immediately caught his attention again. I could see that he was eager to know what had happened to me and how they were involved in it. But I wasn't sure if I wanted him to know.

I looked over to Adam. He was rocking his chair back and forth, obviously uncomfortable with the situation. I was sure that he didn't want Randy to know either but when our eyes met he gave me a small nod.

"You can tell him if you want."

_I looked at the sign as we pulled up in front of a big arena: Ice Sports Forum Brandon Ice Skating Rink._

"_What are we doing here?"_

"_I'd told you back at the hospital that we would take you ice-skating at least once."_

_What did I expect to do with three Canadians at an ice skating rink? I was on vacation and was now travelling through the country. I stopped in Tampa to meet my friends. And to have some fun. Looked like Canadians thought ice skating would be fun. I wasn't convinced._

"_I have no skates."_

"_No excuse! You can hire some." It seemed like Adam couldn't wait to get me onto the ice._

_I could skate on ice, no problem, but I hadn't done it for a while. Actually for years. I had preferred roller skating but it wasn't much different. Or so I thought. With shaky legs I made my way over to the ice. Walking on blades wasn't easy, especially when three Canadians, that looked like they were born in skates, were watching you the whole time. _

_I stopped at the boards, holding on so tightly, that my fingers turned white, as I watched Jay hop over the boards and onto the ice as if it was the most natural thing in the world. God, why me? And it didn't get better when I saw Nat gliding over the ice. I just stood there undecided and watched the throng. _

"_C'mon," Adam said holding out his hand for me._

_I took it with a shy smile and stepped with him onto the ice. In under a minute, I was on my butt. With a little grin Adam lifted me up again and held my hand tight. When I struggled the next time he stopped in front of me. Unable to brake, I stumbled straight into him. We chuckled as I held on to him. _

"_Do you trust me?" he asked serious._

_He still stood in front of me and held out both of his hands. I didn't even think about what he was doing; I just slipped my hands into his, placing my trust completely in him. He slowly began to move backwards, pulling me with him. I started to relax, my confidence gradually building. After a few laps Adam suddenly let go of me, but he kept on skating backwards in front of me. He was getting faster and I didn't want to lag behind. _

_Nat and Jay lapped us a few times. They were pretty fast on the way__. They did a few laps together but then Jay tried to make Nat chase him down or whatever. Unfortunately for him,__ Nat had no interest in behaving like a kid, rushing around all over the place. _

_Jay was bored, too bored and that's how he ended up next to Adam and me. _

"_You're getting old. __My granda skates better than you__," Jay braked next to Adam and spattered ice over him. _

_I saw Adam's face. The annoyed expression said everything: he wanted nothing more than to show Jay who was the one who skated like a granda. But he didn't do anything other than to look at me. _

"_Go," I smiled. "I'll be okay on my own for a while."_

_Adam hesitated for a moment and watched me make my way around the rink for a bit, before he turned and chased after Jay. I had never seen two grown men behaving like 5-year-olds. Except for their height I saw no difference to the other kids. _

"_You learn quickly," Nat drew level with me, decreasing her speed dramatically._

"_It depends on the teacher."_

_We skated a few laps together, chatting and laughing. I had to admit that it was quite fun and I was enjoying myself._

"_When did you become such a loser?" Jay was braking in front of us as he shouted to Adam who was behind him._

_Adam stopped a few __feet__ away. "I'll show you what a loser looks like!"_

_He took a run up and sped towards Jay, the upper part of his body bent forward, aimed directly at Jay's torso. Too bad that Jay was standing in front of Nat and me. Jay ducked to the side as Nat darted out of the way too. __Unfortunately, my usual sharp reactions hadn't made it onto the ice with me. __I was stuck, staring at Adam, like a deer caught in the headlights, unable to move, waiting for the crash. _

_The next thing I remembered was the pain that I felt in my knee. The most intense and unbearable pain I had ever felt. And I immediately knew that something was wrong. _

* * *

I paused and looked at Adam. I didn't want to tell the actual end of the story. I didn't want Randy to know. Nobody needed to know.

* * *

_After Adam hit me I fell down to the ice. It was hard and cold. Adam had so much speed that I had slid over the ice until the boards stopped me. I covered my face with my hands as I laid motionless against the boards. Within seconds Adam, Nat and Jay were kneeing beside me. _

"_Brae," Adam said in shock as he moved my hands from my face._

_Tears of pain and despair were running down my face. I was crying, sobbing. Not only because of the pain but I knew that I was hurt. When Adam lifted me up I burried my face at his chest where even more tears tried to wash pain and fear away._

* * *

As I came back from the memory, I looked over at Adam again. I knew that he didn't like to be reminded of how he had injured me. His shy, embarrassed and apologetic smile, full of shame and guilt, touched me somewhere deep inside of me, but obviously it didn't touch Randy.

He pressed his lips firmly together and you could see the little muscles around his nose, mouth and jaw twitching uncontrollably. His brows were pulled down and together. His brow was furrowed, a deep frown line appearing on his forehead. He breathed through his nose and his nostrils quivering with every breath. I could almost see the anger seeping out of him as he frowned at Adam, but his voice surprised me. Calm, quiet. It was unnerving. It looked like he had to force himself to stay quiet.

"You speared her?"

"No!" Adam was upset.

"Of course! And what a Spear," Nat explained to Randy. "Definitely not a very nice one!"

"How could it have been nice if it was meant to hit me?" Jay asked.

Randy looked at me. I just shrugged with my shoulders. Now I was the one who had no idea what they were talking about.

Adam didn't say anything. He looked like he was just waiting for it to be over.

"It was a stupid accident. It wasn't Adam's fault," I came to Adam's defence. "We've had this discussion a thousand times and I don't wanna have it for the thousand and first time!"

* * *

There was no question about who would go with who for the journey back. Randy immediately went to Jay's car.

Adam and I drove in silence. Not really in silence. I flicked through the radio channels to find something acceptable but we didn't speak for a few minutes.

"… _you got it, you got it, some kind of magic, hypnotic, hypnotic, you're leaving me breathless, I hate this, I hate this…" _

I looked at Adam. He was going to leave and leave me behind. And I had to admit that I hated this, just like the bad feeling in my stomach.

"It was such a beautiful day. Thank you," I tried to smile. "Are you going to visit me again?"

He smiled as he continued looking at the road. "You know I wouldn't want to do anything else," he sighed. "But we have so much work at the moment," he glanced at me. "I told you that we're going to Europe?"

"Eh, yes. Sorry, I forgot. Such a pity you can't take me with you."

"Can't think of a better travel guide. But you'll be home in Germany after rehab."

"But then you'll be back in the US. I'd like to show you my favourite places in Germany some time."

"And I can't wait to see your favourite German places with you," he smiled his breathtaking smile before he drove into the parking lot of the rehab centre.

* * *

"I'll see you very soon!" Adam whispered into my ear as he hugged me for his goodbye. "Promise. And I'll call you tomorrow, and I can Skype from Europe too."

Why did Adam have to hug me like that? Lord, why did I have to wear my over-sized shirt that barely coverred my shoulders? Why did his hands touch my skin? Jeez... His hands. I was always making fun of them, teasing him with telling him that he had hands like a girl, just bigger. But secretly I loved his hands, his fingers, long, slight and somehow slender, for a guy. Strong and yet strangely gentle. I couldn't get enough of his soft touch, but why the hell did he have to follow the line of my shoulder blade with his fingers? Why did he have to make me shiver in his arms once again?

I watched them all say their goodbyes, getting ready for the drive home. I didn't want them to leave. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to take me with him. I just wanted to capture this moment. His voice. His touch. His scent. I inhaled for the last time before I finally let go of him.

Randy and I stood together in front of the centre, waving and watching our friends drove away. When they were out of sight Randy and I looked at each other. I felt so uncomfortable. I didn't know how to handle this. Maybe we should have talked about the day's events but I couldn't get my thoughts together. I needed some time and ever since Wet Willies he looked like he needed more than time. I wanted to know what was wrong. I wanted to know what happened. But maybe we would get the chance to talk in the next days. So we simply walked in silence back into the centre.

"Braeden," he began, his voice hinting that he wanted to tell me something.

I didn't feel ready for this but if he wanted to talk right now we should do this. I looked patiently at him, waiting for him to tell me what he was thinking.

He just forced a smile. I knew that he wouldn't tell me what was on his mind. "Have a good night," he simply said before he turned around and left.

I watched him leaving me too. Great. Why did all guys leave me? Guys! I couldn't stop thinking about the whole day and how two guys were driving me crazy, each of them in his own special way. What happened to Randy and why was Adam so strange? Guys! I really had enough of them. I had more important things to care about than guys. I was in the rehab centre for my recovery. Maybe, no, doubtless, Nat was right. I should focus on my recovery, and everything else could wait till after rehab, especially guys.


	11. 1:48 am

**Disclaimer: ... I want to take this opportunity to thank each and everyone who reads this story. Adds & Reviews: a special thanks. Beta-reader: the wonderful and amazing rkolove. Thanks a lot for believing in me.**

Once again it was the midday break. Nothing special, apart from that it was the midday break on day one after the visit. I felt horrible. I actually thought that it would become better after I consulted my pillow, but I woke up with more questions and confusions than the day before.

I was standing in the middle of my room and thought about what I wanted to do. I hadn't seen stumbled across Randy yet, and wanted to keep it like that for now. I didn't want to meet Randy, I didn't want to see him and I definitely didn't want to talk to him, no matter what. Stupid, but exactly what I wanted!

Midday break usually meant it was time for the bench. But not just for me. The bench also meant Randy normally. Hmm... No bench, no Randy probably. Should I stay in my room? Simple but effective. But it was such a beautiful day, much too beautiful to stay inside. I was no stay-at-home and I could always go somewhere else. The café had a really pretty terrace and there were even more benches in the park than just the usual one.

But what if Randy had the same idea? There weren't that many places that we could avoid each other, not here anyway. The only really safe place was my room. I could always catch up on my laundry, paperwork, things that I had been avoiding or left for a later date... Things that I couldn't leave for much longer. Really.

But filling out an insurance form wasn't exactly exciting - I'd filled out so many, the novelty had worn off a long time ago. But I had to do it even though it was one of the most boring things I'd ever had to do. While I was filling out the papers I caught myself staring out of the window, lost in my own thoughts every few minutes.

It was just ridiculous to stay in my room just because I could meet Randy somewhere. I couldn't avoid him for the rest of rehab. I would meet him sooner or later - later being the preferable option. I would go to the bench again. Definitely! But I really had to sort out this insurance stuff. I just needed a bit more time… And excuses.

* * *

It was so stupid. We were adults. We could handle this like adults. Right? But being stupid was so much easier. And I could be really stupid.

The next day I decided to go to the bench again. It was warm and I liked being outside and doing something. Even though it was just a walk through the park. I didn't meet Randy, because by now I knew exactly when he was having his exercise sessions and definitely wouldn't be at the bench. So I didn't avoid going to the bench, I just preferred going there when I knew that he wouldn't be. Clever, eh? But why did I still feel so stupid? Actually even more than before.

* * *

"Hello," I murmured.

Randy mumbled something back that I didn't understand but I assumed that he was offering a greeting in return, or at the very least, acknowledging my presence.

I was just leaving Kev's room after my therapy session. And Randy was sitting on the couch, waiting, as usual.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Alright. You?"

"Fine."

"Good, good."

His voice was so monotone, almost unreadable. I couldn't say if his tone was real or contrived. Could it be real? Didn't he really care about me anymore? Wasn't he really interested in me anymore? However, the conversation, if you could call it that, was already over. Since the day of the visit Randy and I avoided each other. We didn't meet, we didn't talk and we were barely looking at each other. Nothing. Nothing, apart from the few superficial words we exchanged out of politeness when our paths accidentally crossed.

We had now played this stupid game for a few days, and I didn't want to play anymore. I didn't want to spend the rest of my time in rehab playing silly childish games. I wasn't in rehab to play anything… Maybe, but apart from _that_. I wanted to talk to Randy. The situation was strange but actually it wasn't that bad. What was so bad about having the same friends? I was sure we were over-reacting and our behaviour was exaggerated. So I decided to go to the bench when I knew that he would be there. I wouldn't give him a chance to avoid me anymore.

* * *

I got to the bench at our usual time, but he wasn't there. Had his schedule changed? I knew that they could - sessions were always being reorganized when therapists had days off, meetings, new patients arrived, old patients left... Countless reasons for him not being there. So I waited and waited. But he never came. I walked back without having achieved anything but I was persistent and I wasn't going to give up that easily.

So I was at the bench again the next day. And he didn't come again. This time I was disappointed, and somehow a bit sad. I knew I didn't exactly know him very well, but it seemed odd that he wasn't here for a second day. I wasn't sure why he hadn't come to the bench. There could be a million reasons but I had my own speculations. Did he really avoid coming to the bench because he thought he might meet me? Was he as stupid as me?

Okay. If he wanted it that way, he would get it that way. I would definitely meet him in front of Kev's room. And seen as I didn't have much of a choice, I tell him everything I needed to say, right there in that corridor.

* * *

"Braeden!"

"Huh?"

"Since when are you so distracted?" Kev asked. His irritation as my disinterest in therapy was starting to show.

Since I started thinking about Randy. Since I started thinking about what might happen when I left Kev's room. I was just thinking about all the possibilities. I couldn't concentrate on this therapy stuff. I'm not sure if I even did one exercise right during the session. I was already arranging sentences in my head that I could say to Randy. I wanted to be prepared.

When I finally left Kev's room, I resisted the urge to look immediately over to the couch. I adjusted my bag on my shoulder and closed Kev's door behind me.

"Hel…," I started to greet him but I stopped short when I looked over to the couch.

It was empty.

Randy wasn't there.

He wasn't sat on the couch. This wasn't right. He was always there, since the day he had started rehab. Always. But not now. Maybe he was just late. I looked up and down the corridor, waiting for him to come around the corner and hurry to his therapy session in time. But he didn't come. The corridor stayed empty.

I waited. He would come. I was sure. He was just running a few minutes late. The minutes ticked by. Nothing happened. And then something else struck me. Usually Kev called his patients in but today, Kev hadn't popped his head outside the door to call Randy in. Did he know that he wouldn't be there? What was going on?

* * *

I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about Randy. I just couldn't stop. I wanted to, but I couldn't help myself - he had a way of creeping into my mind.

I hadn't seen him for a few days and the only thing I knew for sure was that rehab couldn't be over for him. It wasn't possible. But where was he?

The first few days after the visit I missed him. Not just his physical presence, but talking to him, listening to him, having him around and the knowledge that he was there. After the visit, I felt like I did during the first days of rehab: alone, lost and a little bit afraid. Randy had filled the void, but now, that void had returned and Randy was an ice age away.

And now I wasn't just missing him. I was concerned about him. Something had to be wrong. Why hadn't he called or sent a text message? I grabbed my phone for the thousandth time. Nothing. Should I make the first move? I opened a text message window. What should I write? A text message was a stupid idea. I should just call him. Pretty easy. But what would I say? And what if he didn't want to talk to me? Or if the mailbox answered the call? I couldn't just hang up.

I threw my phone on the bed-side table again. He obviously saw no reason to tell me anything. And I was much too proud and too stubborn to chase a guy. But maybe it was the wrong time to be proud and stubborn. I grabbed my phone again and rolled it between my palms. He had his reasons and I had mine. But I still wanted to know where he was. It definitely sucked!

I had a feeling that whatever we had, was going to end like this. I wanted it to be similar to this, but not exactly like this. We were having something like a fling. When one of us eventually left rehab, it would be over. That was my plan. But in my plan, we would know when the other was leaving and we would say goodbye and spend time together before it was over.

And now I was the one being left behind and thinking about him. Where was he? What had happened? The same questions over and over again - questions that I didn't have the answers to.

Suddenly, I got my answer. Not the final answer, but definitely an idea to get an answer. I didn't know anything about Randy's whereabouts, but that didn't mean that nobody else would know. Who could I ask? Who would know something? Nat! Of course! Jeez... I couldn't see the forest for the trees. Or even better: Susan! Susan knew everything. And I mean everything. Every little story, every little secret and she would definitely know where Randy was. I just had to ask her. And that would be the first thing I would do in the morning.

* * *

Noise. No, a sound. A continuous, monotonous sound woke me. Before I had realized what it was or where it was coming from it had stopped. I rolled on my side and just before I could fall asleep again, the sound started again: continuous, monotonous and louder than before. God! I rolled onto my back again and looked at the clock on the bed-side table. 1:48 a.m.. What the fuck?

I realized that the annoying sound was coming from the door. Someone was knocking persistently. At this time? I wanted to know who was getting on my sleepy nerves. I threw the covers off and slipped out of bed. I didn't switch the light on. Maybe I better had…

"Verdammter Scheißdreck," I cursed loudly as my shin hit the painfully sharp edge of the bed. Nasty German words were exactly the right thing to express my pain and anger. Even though it was my healthy leg, it didn't exactly make the situation any better. All I could do was avoid falling over, as I stumbled in the direction of the door.

The knocking had stopped. But that wouldn't save the one who had just ruined my night.

"What?" I half-shouted as I threw the door open and blinked at the dazzling light of the corridor.

"Sorry," Randy whispered. "This wasn't a very good idea. I should go. Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

Really? That crossed his mind early. Although I had been eagerly awaiting his return, I wasn't really sure if I was exactly happy to see him right now. Just as I was about to tell him what I thought about his night-time visit, my eyes got used to the light. And I finally could take a good look at him. My anger disappeared, replaced once again with concern.

He looked horrible with big, dark bags under his small, blood-shot eyes. He hadn't even shaved. And not just the little bit of scruff that Nat had teased him about the other day - it looked like he hadn't tried to shave for a few days, meaning a semi-full beard had formed. His usual proud and upright posture was no more - his shoulders drooped forward and his head hung low between them. And he wasn't wearing his sling. He looked tired, damn tired, sad and down. I had never thought that he could look like this.

"Come in," I said softly as I stepped aside.

He moved forward, but hung back by the door as if unsure what to do next. I closed the door behind him and realized that I was just wearing my night clothes. Shorts and a shirt. But I noticed that he wasn't looking. He didn't seem to have the slightest bit of interest in looking at me. But all the same, I decided to slip back into bed. I walked over to it, climbed in and switched the bed-side lamp on.

Randy hadn't moved. I wanted to know what had happened but I wasn't sure if I should just ask him. He came to me, maybe I should leave him to start when he felt comfortable enough.

As I wrapped the covers around me again, I felt a movement on the bed - something heavy, like a body, falling onto my bed. Wait! What was he doing? Before I could work out what was going on, I felt him moving again - and then I felt him so close again. He lay on his back, his head on my stomach, starting up at the ceiling. And all I could do was stare at him.

"Maybe you've noticed that I haven't been here for a few days," he started talking without looking at me.

Maybe? Are you kidding me? But I was about to get the long awaited explanation, so I laid back, relaxed and listened to him.

"I was with my family. My dad is in hospital. I just got back a few minutes ago."

And his first thought was come to me?

"What happened?" I asked softly as I reached my hand out and gently ran my fingers over his arm.

"He had a mild heart attack."

"That's something very serious."

"I know."

He moved again. I watched as he rolled onto his side, lying so close to me that his body touched mine. He shifted his arm to rest under his head, so we were on the same level. We looked at each other.

"But I'm not sure how serious it really is," he said. "I guess no one knows better than you that doctors talk a lot but they don't actually say anything. I've talked to quite a few doctors in my life and just because of that, my mom thought I would understand my dad's doctor. So she wanted me to talk to him. But his doctor's bullshit was no use. All I got was that my dad will be okay and that's what I've told my mom. That's all that what she wanted to hear. But I don't know anything else," he explained, looking at me hopefully. "What do you think?"

"Well… It's not my specialist area…"

"But?"

I sighed. "It depends."

"On what?"

"On what kind of infarct it was. Where was it? Anterior or posterior wall?"

"Um… I'm sure that the doctor mentioned it but I…"

"It's okay. Did your dad have heart surgery?"

"No, not really, I think. They did a little intervention but no real surgery. Something to do with the arteries."

"I suppose that they've cleaned the arteries. That's good. Be glad that it was just a light infarct. It definitely sounds like everything will be alright. Really. No doctor's bullshit. You'll see."

He gave me a relieved smile. "And then?"

"He's been given a second chance. He has to change his life. No smoking, no drinking, and he'll have to watch his cholesterol levels, so that means no red meat."

He chuckled. "I'm definitely not gonna be the one telling him this."

"Why not?"

"Telling the BBQ king that we're revoking his title? He'll have his next heart attack!"

"Surely he can grill other things? Fish? Chicken? Vegetables?"

Randy looked like he would burst out in laughter at any moment but all of a sudden, he became serious.

"Perhaps he should."

Surprisingly, Randy slid closer once more, and this time his head moved onto my shoulder as he curled up against me. I gazed down at him. This incarnation of pure masculinity had just laid _his_ head on _my_ shoulder? This symbol of strength had just shown me that he could be weak? This embodiment of pure man could be vulnerable? This epitome of the stronger sex needed someone? I wondered why he would let his guard down and let me see what was underneath. Did I just see the real him? Maybe he had to pretend to be the strong one during the last few days and now, the facade had fallen away and all he wanted, was someone to lean on. Either way, I was just fascinated by what he was presenting to me.

"What else will my dad have to do? No medical dissertation please!"

"Phew… Quite a lot actually. He will have to take different drugs every day to thin his blood and to strengthen his heart probably for the rest of his life to lower the risk of another heart attack. Along with regular medical tests like ECGs. And like I said: he has to change his lifestyle. Besides the things I've already mentioned, he has to avoid stress and do a bit sport, but not too much, maybe swimming or something. Healthy food, maybe go on a diet. There's so much, but the most important fact is, that he is ill and that he always will be. It's not over when he leaves the hospital. He should be well aware of that every day."

I guessed that would be enough for now. Enough doctors bullshit. Maybe I should have been more upset about his opinion of people like me, doctors that is? But I wasn't. I completely understood. If I was him, and had his experiences with doctors, I wouldn't like people like me either. Doctors! Definitely a strange species.

He didn't say anything. I thought that he would ask more questions, or comment on what I had just said, but he kept quiet. So I kept quiet too. I didn't want to continue my monologue. During the last few minutes I was the only one who had spoken.

He was just breathing. And I could feel his warm breath on my skin. His warm, constant, calm breath. Something hit me - you only breathe like that when you're pretty relaxed. And there aren't that many things that can make you that relaxed. I knew of just one reason why he could be so relaxed. I looked down at him but I already knew what I would see.

He wasn't just breathing. He had fallen asleep… On my shoulder. Who could blame him? He looked like he hadn't slept in days. But what should I do now? I couldn't wake him. I didn't have the heart. And he would probably leave if I did. And suddenly, I wasn't sure if I really wanted him to wake up. Did I want him to stay the night?

* * *

The vibration of my sleep-phases clock on my wrist woke me softly. God, I loved that invention. Waking up to a loud alarm was my idea of hell. So this was the perfect start to a relaxed morning for a grumpy morning person like me. No noise. Um… There was noise, not very loud but close, very close. I looked down at my side. Randy was still there, still lying on my shoulder. And he was quietly snoring. No, it wasn't really snoring, more like noisy breathing. However, he was definitely still asleep.

We hadn't moved a lot during the night. Maybe that was the reason why I couldn't feel my arm on which he was lying. Actually we hadn't moved at all apart from his arm that was now wrapped around me. He was holding me. Or was he holding onto me?

I definitely liked it. And I definitely wanted to do it again - the thought made me smile. Maybe one day, I could test out his shoulder. Obviously mine wasn't that bad. But it was too bad that I had to get up. I didn't know if he had any plans for the morning but I still couldn't wake him. He needed every minute of sleep that he could get. And I was willing to let him sleep until I had to leave. I just had to manoeuvre myself out of his arms somehow without waking him. So I carefully put a pillow under his neck before lifting his heavy arm and slowly slipping out of his hold. When I pulled my shoulder away his head luckily sank onto the pillow. He made a few grouchy noises, but continued to sleep.

So far so good. Daily morning business as usual. When I left the bathroom again I just had to put my splint on before I was ready to leave. He was still sleeping and I watched him as I sat down on the couch but when I grabbed my splint, my eyes still on Randy, I knocked my crutches which were leaning against the couch. They crashed loudly to the floor. And Randy was immediately awake. God Braeden! Wanna see an idiot? Just look into the mirror! But now I luckily didn't have to worry about waking him anymore.

He let his eyes close as he rolled onto his back, letting out a cross between a sigh and a yawn. He ran his hand over his face before his eyes slowly flickered open.

"Sorry," I said softly.

He sat up, looked around the room and when his eyes found me I could almost see him remembering what had happened just a few hours ago.

"I think I should be the one apologizing," he said obviously feeling uneasy with our current situation.

"What for?" I shrugged with a smile.

He sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed with his hands over his face again.

"I guess for disturbing you in the middle of the night as well as then being stupid enough to fall asleep," he mumbled into his hands without looking at me.

Did he really feel this uncomfortable because of that?

"It's alright. Nothing happened."

"Where did you sleep then?"

He didn't remember? Or was he refusing to remember? And I wasn't sure if I wanted him to remember.

"Um… I don't need much space. The bed was big enough for the both of us."

He gave me small smile, but still looked uncomfortable as he got up from the bed.

"I think I should go. I need a shower."

That was more than necessary. He still looked terrible, not as bad as last night but still pretty bad. Who could blame him? He had slept in his clothes - no wonder they were completley rumpled. He held his arm and moved it slowly up and down a few times. The bags under his eyes were gone but there were still dark shadows. And his eyes weren't blood-shot anymore but still red. There was a huge imprint on one side of his face. I smiled. Maybe he would remember my shoulder if he took a look in the mirror.

"I must fly too," I said as I gathered my stuff.

"Braeden?" he said suddenly standing behind me.

I turned around and looked into his thankful face. He had pushed his hands into his jeans pockets and was smiling down at me.

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"Oh c'mon. Don't make me to say it."

I just smiled patiently.

"For listening and talking and telling and… Being there… And…" he sighed, "letting me stay."

It must have been hard for him to say that. We gazed awkwardly at each other. All I wanted to do was hug him and tell him that everything would be alright again. I watched how he twisted his hands nervously in his pockets, until he finally tugged them free and reached out to me.

I turned around and moved away from him before he could touch me.

I wanted nothing more than to be touched by him again but I had no idea what would happen if he did. There was a minefield of possibilities, of mistakes that could be made. Maybe we needed to keep our distance for a while. It was a start anyway. And who knows what could happen...


	12. Vicious circle

**Disclaimer: ... Thanks a lot to everyone who takes the time to read my story. I can see in my traffic that there are a few people out there who are interested in it. That simple fact makes me happy and proud. Special thanks: And the Slammy for the best beta in the world goes to ... drum roll ... rkolove! Applause, applause, applause... And you still deserve so much more. **

"Hey," I said as I arrived at the bench.

Shit! My voice sounded so much more emotional than I had intended - and all in just one stupid word. Insecure, I looked over to him, not sure if he had notice anything or if I wanted him to notice anything.

"Hi."

His smile was softer than I had expected it, and I couldn't help but give him the same smile back, a smile that felt even softer than his.

Randy was sitting in one corner of the bench, leaving enough room for me to sit down and still keep a safe distance between us; a distance I had decided we should keep. And he seemed to accept my decision. Shit! Why? I glanced at him as I sat down in the opposite corner of the bench. I pushed myself firmly against the armrest until the wood dug into my back, making sure the distance between us was as big as possible. But the more I pushed myself away from him the more I wanted to be close to him again.

_Resting my head on his chest, his calloused fingertips brushing strands of my hair back from my face, being wrapped in his arms, him holding me close..._

"How's your dad doing?"

For the past few days, that was always my first question.

"He's out of hospital, and already complaining about almost everything again," he smiled warmly. "So I suppose that he's okay. He wouldn't admit anything else at least."

I stared at his lips, watching every little movement as he spoke. _Don't stop talking. _But with every word, I started to miss the days gone by, where we didn't need words and when we used our lips for other things.

_His lips...__Him knocking gently at my door, letting him in with an impatient look in my eyes, __his warm fingers running over my back, his stubble rubbing my chin raw, and then every so often, scratching at my swollen lips as we kiss... _

His lips... And their hold over me. My eyes refused to move away and I wanted nothing more than to slide over to him. His lips literally pulled me closer and the urge to kiss him grew and grew as I desperately tried to stay away from him. But the more I tried to stay away, the stronger his hold became over me, resulting in me trying to increase the distance between us. And that again led to... A vicious circle I couldn't escape from.

God, why the hell did I get the stupid idea that this distance thing would be the best for both of us? And why didn't he try to change the situation either? Actually I didn't want this whole distance thing. How could we keep a distance after the night in my room? That night was so personal, so intimate... He had opened up to me, had confided in me and let me see an incredibly fragile side of him. How could we stay away from each other when we were actually so close, so damn close? So close and yet so far...

The last time that I felt so close to a man was... Yeah, when actually? Actually... With Adam. When he was in hospital, when he needed someone, when he needed me... Adam. He was the reason for all this. He, and of course Jay, Nat, and their visit.

"Randy?" I plucked up the courage but I twitched nervously at my shirt.

"Hmm?"

"What happened on the day when Adam, Jay and Nat visited us?"

"Nothing!"

His answer was as quick as a shot but far too quick to be honest. I didn't believe him but I had to know the truth and so I did my best to dig deeper.

"We've never even spoken about that day."

"Why do women always want to tak about everything?"

"Why do guys never want to talk about anything?"

He groaned querulously as he looked down at his hands, that he was rubbing firmly together, obviously his only outlet for his frustration at my questioning.

"So... You and Adam... " he suddenly looked up again, staring straight at me.

That wasn't really direct. It was more a subliminal insinuation but it was obvious what point he was trying to make. That was really his reason? Nothing else? Somehow it sounded like a pre-textual reason. So Adam and me? What about Adam and me?

"… are friends?" he finished his question.

I smirked at the subtle change to the previous intention of his question. But there was still something more behind it.

"Ah yeah, we all are!"

"I thought that Adam…"

"Adam and I are close because of his time in hospital. Like I've already told you, we spend a lot of time together," I interrupted him with my explanation before he could continue with his obvious speculations.

"And as an acknowledgement of his gratitude, he injured you, eh?"

"Ironically, that brought us even closer. Being injured and caring about someone, tie two people together."

He gave me a strange look as he sighed. "Yeah, maybe."

* * *

I leant my crutches against the recumbent bike I had picked and dropped my bag on the floor next to it. The walk to the gym was already a sporting activity on its own, at least for a leg injury. And that wasn't only my opinion. Some of my leg injury group exercise comrade-in-arms were already short of breath when they arrived at the gym, without doing any kind of sports. And how did that make sense? But luckily we still had time for a brief rest before the actual exercise session would start: Kev wasn't there yet. So I grabbed my bottle of water, took a few sips and chatted a bit with the others.

"Gym once again?"

Why did Randy's voice and the whiff of his breath on my neck cause a breakout of goose-bumps? And why was he standing so close behind me? He was definitely breaking the conditions of my distance rule. But he hadn't been this close for a while and I missed his closeness so much. Maybe, no surely, I shouldn't, but I enjoyed the moment all the more.

"Leg injury group exercise session."

"Sounds exciting."

There was something in Randy's voice which I couldn't quite figure out. His voice was so warm, so soft, but also somehow stressed and uneasy.

"And you? Running again?"

A telling smile was his answer as we faced each other. I was holding my bottle of water and picked nervously at the label. Why did his presence suddenly make me so nervous? He hadn't made me nervous for the last few days. But he seemed to be nervous too. Why else would he keep shifting the unlock button of his iPod back and forth?

"Braeden," Kev called out for me.

I don't think I'd ever been that happy to see my physiotherapist before.

"Exercise time," I smiled before I abandoned Randy.

Randy walked over to the treadmills. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him standing between them, obviously indecisive about which one he should pick. He briefly glanced over to my therapy group before he decided for the one that was standing sideways to my group and prepared to start running.

My group started with some floor exercises to stretch and warm up. I had my back to Randy. I was desperate to keep my concentration on my exercises, determined to ignore his presence for as long as I could.

"Okay, last exercise. Everybody stand up. Try to straighten your legs, lean forward and then try to touch the floor with your hands. Stretch as far as you can. Don't bend your knees. Try to hold it. I'll come around and help you," Kev instructed.

My fingertips touched the floor and I was able to hold it quite comfortably. With my head down I waited for Kev to come around and look at how I was doing. I felt the blood slowly surge to my head and I heard it thunder through my ears as I hung upside down. I looked at the floor and at my hands but neither was very exciting to look at, so I started to look around the gym through my legs. There were definitely more exciting things in there: such as Randy...

At first I just saw his legs, that were keeping a steady pace on the treadmill. I realized that I hadn't previously noticed that his calves were pretty damn nice. His lower legs were long and his calves formed a perfect line down from his knees until they merged smoothly into his ankles. Unfortunately, his thighs were almost completely covered by his shorts but his shirt had started to rise up, the material sticking to his back, gathering around his waist and exposing his butt.

Lucky for me. Time to enjoy the view. Even through his shorts, I could see the defined curve of his butt: round, tight and very buff. _Not bad, not bad._ My eyes continued to wander up until I could see his chest. His firm, muscular chest was bouncing to the rhythm of his steps.

_His rhythm... He moved with such smoothness... Steady and powerful... _

As my eyes made their way up from his chest to his face they stopped for a last time: at his Adam's apple. One of the most masculine attributes. And his one was pretty distinctive, so damn masculine. And then my gaze reached his face, and I swallowed nervously.

I saw _him_ looking.

Um... He was looking too? He obviously hadn't noticed that I was watching him. His eyes wandered around the room, unceasing in their movement, up, down and around. But what was he looking at? Was he looking at me or somewhere else? I wasn't sure. It was exhausting to look at the world upside down. I needed to close my eyes for a moment. When I opened them again, our eyes met. Could he be more obvious? I gave him a small smile, in an attempt to show him that I was okay with him looking, but instead of returning the gesture, he looked appalled. Did I just catch him in the act? But in the act of what? Staring, rather than just looking?

At me? But what was he staring at? He couldn't have seen a lot, just my legs and... Was he staring at my butt? I straightened quickly and turned around.

"Braeden," Kev was already standing next to me. "Can't you hold the position any longer? Is your leg okay?"

"Yeah, my _leg_ is okay."

"Loosen up your legs guys, and take a two minute brake," he told the whole group.

Randy had been watching me. I knew it and now I watched him, but he gazed straight ahead as he continued running. His head didn't move an inch. Sweat-drops began to form on his forehead and started to slowly run down his temple. How could he make simple sweat so attractive?

I turned away from him and hobbled over to the bike for the following cycling exercise session. All through the warm up, I continued to steal sneaky peeks at Randy, over and over again. I always looked away quickly, afraid that I would be caught in the act too. God, I was acting just like a teenager. But Randy didn't once look over at me again. When he finally stopped and stepped down from the treadmill, my eyes were fixated on him. He grabbed his bottle of isotonic drink and leant breathing heavily against the treadmill. His sweat-soaked shirt stuck to his body and his chest was clearly pronounced under the wet material. It was impossible to look away anymore. My eyes stuck to him, just like his shirt did.

He put the bottle down and looked casually over at me. Now he saw me looking but instead of looking away with embarrassment I smiled at him, a small but sweet smile. He wiped his towel over his face before he looked at me again. I was afraid of how he would react but finally he returned it, and not just my smile. I could feel the heat, the intensity growing between us, but even so, we were acting rather coyly, attempting to look away, but whenever our eyes did meet, little delighted smiles flew back and forth between us. And neither of us tried to stop it.

Kev said something and I tried to concentrate on my exercises again until Randy came slowly over to us. He stopped and smiled at me while I continued with my exercises. He watched me unashamedly and what had been a shy look before had now turned into a look full of longing and yearning. Or was I just projecting my own feelings onto him? The feeling became stronger as I saw how the lines of his body appeared under his shirt. I was definitely yearning: for the warmth of his body, his smooth touch and the tickling of his stubble all over me. I closed my eyes.

_The gentle nibbling on my earlobe,_ _the soft kisses on my neck... _

"Can I help you Randy?" Kev asked simply, completely unaware of what he had just destroyed.

"Erm... No... I don't think that _you_ can help me."

* * *

Alone in my room. A deep breath. Exhale. Just a moment. Okay.

God, I really needed to think about something else but I simply couldn't. The situation in the gym wouldn't stop bothering me. My mind was already on the fast lane. But what _actually _happened in the gym just an hour ago? Actually, if it had been with any other guy, I would have said that we were flirting but c'mon...

Nah...

_Shit! _It wasn't my fault, it wasn't my intention, I didn't want it to... Well... I mean... It just happened, okay? And it wasn't just me. It takes two to tango, right?. He obviously wasn't disinclined. So there wasn't really any need to justify myself and my actions. But... Gosh, I didn't want to think about it anymore.

I opened my laptop in search for a diversion, a diversion away from Randy. When I logged into ICQ I found the perfect diversion, not exactly what I'd had in my mind, but definitely more than I could have wished for. And slowly thoughts about Randy became blurry. There was only one thing I could still think of.

_**Mulder'sScully **__Call?_

_**Adam1973 **__Not much time_

That was probably a no... Or not?

_**Mulder'sScully **__:-(_

Incoming call. Incoming call? Incoming call!

"Hey," I said as I opened the Skype window. I could already feel my face aglow with happiness. I desperately tried to hide the overwhelming joy but I knew for sure that I had failed miserably.

"Hey," a heart-stopping smile greeted me.

"Why did you... ?"

"You know I don't like to see you sad."

"I'm not sad. It was just a smiley."

"But I'd like to see happy smileys, and you smiling of course."

Just seeing him on the screen and those few words from him, made me smile so bright that my cheeks almost hurt.

"Just like that," he whispered.

Oh holy... I felt the heat rise in my cheeks. Shit! This was a potentially embarrassing situation for me but I still continued to smile brightly. My cheeks! _Ow..._ And then I heard a melody.

"Just a second!"

I saw Adam grab his phone and he groaned as he glanced briefly at the display.

"Sorry Brae. Gotta go."

"Um... Okay."

"Talk to you later. Please don't be mad with me."

_How could I be?_

"I'm not. It's alright. So... Bye?"

He smiled. "See you later. Bye Brae."

The screen turned black.

He was gone.

I knew that he wouldn't have much time but nevertheless I felt disappointed. Not really disappointed but... What exactly? Was I somehow hurt because he didn't have time for me when he could obviously tell that I needed him? Whatever it was, he had left a bad feeling. But then again, I should probably have been used to that 'special' bad feeling - he had a habit of making me feel that way because this wasn't the first time and it certainly wasn't the last. Great! Just great! My day couldn't get any better. There were just two things left which could save my day: a blueberry muffin and a simple hug. The muffin was easy, but the hug? That was a tough one.

* * *

I raised my hand but then hesitated. Don't be stupid again. It's just a simple knock. But a knock at _his_ door. I held my breath as my knuckles hit the wood. Within seconds the door opened and Randy smiled at me. But as quick as he had opened the door, he disappeared just as quickly from my sight again. All I saw was the phone pinned to his ear. He was obviously deep in a conversation with someone, so, not wanting to disturb him, I decided to wait outside his door until he was finished.

"Hang on a second... ," I heard Randy say before he peered around the door again and smiled invitingly at me. "Come in! I'll just finish this call, it won't take long. Make yourself at home..."

He kept looking at me until finally, I slowly walked into his room. He closed the door behind me and then walked around his room completely engrossed in his call. In my tentative state, I decided to hang back near the door. I hadn't been in his room for a while. All rooms were the same, looked the same, had the same furniture and the same room layout. But my eyes still wandered around _his _room and ended up at _his_ bed. Then my eyes wandered back to him, back to the bed, him, bed, him, bed... I finally lowered my head and closed my eyes. A deep sigh escaped my lips as I turned myself slightly, in order to get the bed out of my eye line. I slowly opened my eyes again, and looked at the dresser. Lord! Why did this have to happen to me? I knew there was a reason why I wanted to wait _outside_ of his room! All I wanted was a simple hug, nothing more, but definetly nothing less. And I still wanted my hug - and that had to come from him. Damn my predicament!

So I watched him again, still walking around the room. He obviously didn't feel very comfortable and was beginning to disagree with whoever he was talking to.

"… I don't get why this is necessary… Yes, but… I don't know… Mhmmm… Tomorrow morning?… But… For how long?..." he groaned. "Yes… Sure… Of course… See you tomorrow… Bye…"

He stared, obviously annoyed, at his phone before he cut the call off and threw the phone on his bed. He went over to the couch and let himself drop onto it with a solid thump. With his eyes closed, he leant his head back and sighed deeply.

"Even in rehab, where recovery and rest are supposed to be the priority, people can't quit fucking ringing me every other minute. Sometimes I really miss the times when you weren't always just a phone call away, every second of every minute of every hour of every fucking day. Anywhere I go, I've got that thing in my pocket, just waiting for a call or a text or an email. Jeez... I can still remember a time when I had no cell phone, and I survived."

"Why don't you just turn it off, at least for an hour or two?"

"I tried. But then the room phone didn't stop ringing," he smirked. "And Susan got pretty pissed because she had to put calls through for me. She said that she had better things to do than being my personal secretary. So I thought that it might be best not to piss her off and turned my phone on again. I immediately had countless text messages from people who wanted me to call them. So I was on the phone again and so there was no sense in turning it off. I just have to be available. And today is my personal phone-hell day!"

"And why don't you tell everyone that they should only call you if it's urgent?"

"I did! And they all say it's urgent!"

I smirked. I honestly felt a bit sorry for him. _You seem in need of a hug too. Perfect!_

"Be glad that your phone is your only problem, or the people who call you, but I guess a lot of people would like to have your problems and I bet a lot of people would kill to swap lives with you."

"Do you want to swap?"

"Nah..."

"Such a pity! Then you won't go to work for me? You would meet Nattie and Jay and A... !"

"You have to go to work? You can't work! You're not healthy yet!"

"You're worried about me?" he smiled. His question sounded serious though. Did he really want to know what I felt for him?

"I just tell you the facts!" I defended, as I tried to hide the fact that he had hit the nail on the head.

"However, no need to worry. I won't be stepping into the ring. I just have to make an appearance in the show, y'know, talk a bit, do some interviews, promote the show… Whatever they want me to do, apart from wrestling."

"But you have to leave rehab for that again? Already?"

He ran his hand over his hairy chin. "Yep!" he sighed. "But it's just for three days. I leave tomorrow and I'll be back Wednesday afternoon, I suppose, as long as nothing unexpected comes up in the meantime."

He got up from the couch and came over to me, a bright smile gracing his strong features.

"So let's not let the grass grow under our feet eh? Coffee?"

"And a muffin." _And a hug. _

"Yes! A large slice of cheesecake would definitely lighten my mood right now."

He was just about to wrap his arm around me when he stopped and pulled back. Obviously unsure how I would react, he gave me a small, nervous smile. I kept standing where I was and smiled invitingly, praying that he would get the hint and give me what I wanted.

_Hug me. Hug me! HUG ME! Damn! What's so difficult about that? Just a hug... Just once... Just now... Please. _

But instead, he reached past me and opened the door, his smile, his eyes... Was he silently pleading that I should go? Obviously leaving me with no other option, I did. I left... Without my hug. You don't always get what you want, hm?


	13. Save me

**Disclaimer: ...**

**Happy New Year! **

**Thanks to all readers out there. **

**Special thanks: to my wonderful and awesome beta, rkolove, who works more on my story than I actually do. Thanks for your amazing ideas, your great suggestions and your patience. **

**And now enjoy :-)**

_The sun slowly melted into the horizon as I laid in the high grass and watched shades of orange and red mix together in the sky. A mild breeze rustled the grass and as I turned my head to let the breeze touch my face, I saw him standing beside me. The setting sun dipped him in the same colours as the sky, making his skin look like it was on fire and his blue eyes blazed. _

_Suddenly he was lying next to me, his head close to mine and my hands caressed his face, running so lovingly over his scruff. _

_"Adam," I whispered. "What took you so long?"_

_No answer, just a breathtaking smile before his lips covered mine... _

But suddenly the scene was over. Everything was gone in a second before it had even started.

_No. Not yet._ _No. I don't want to yet. A bit longer. Just a little bit..._

I buried my face into the pillow, trying to find a more comfortable position for my head, which would allow me to continue sleeping, at least for a little while. _Ouch!_ Pressing the button of the pillowcase into my cheek wasn't exactly comfortable, and definitely didn't help to save me from waking up. _Just a little bit longer._ With a tired sigh, I pulled my limp arms out from somewhere underneath myself and squeezed and turned the pillow before my head fell back onto it.

_Sleep... And continue dreaming of Adam. _

_Shit!_ No chance. Damn. Some parts of my mind and body were already wide awake. I grumbled at my seemingly unchangeable situation - the 'Ransday', Randy Wednesday situation.

Wednesday. Wednesday was my weekly lazy day. I had no early exercise sessions on Wednesday, in fact, I only had one session on Wednesdays and that was just an aqua session. I refused to call it therapy. So I had no reason to get up early and definitely no reason to set any alarm to interrupt my well-deserved sleep. I could have a lie-in, but it was always the same on Wednesdays: I woke up early without any alarm.

Thanks to my damn body clock. But my body clock had a damn good reason to wake me up early: Randy.

Both of us had mornings free on Wednesday and then one day he started to come by and pick me up for breakfast. No need to mention that we almost never made it to breakfast in time, no matter how early he knocked at my door. And building up appetite seemed to be useless when we didn't make it to breakfast at all. But we didn't need breakfast to feel satisfied... Well... He hadn't met me for breakfast the last few Wednesdays, and he wouldn't do it this Wednesday. How could he? He wasn't there, not until the afternoon anyway, but ultimately it wouldn't make any difference if he was there or not to any other of the last few Wednesdays.

I mumbled some German swearwords into my pillow, making sure it knew how awful Wednesday mornings were, as my eyes slowly flickered open. I just wanted to know what time my body clock had set its own alarm for. My half-open eyes focused on the clock on the bedside table and my still sleepy mind realized that it was later than usual for a Wednesday. Obviously my body clock had slowly got used to the fact that nobody was going to come knocking at my door on a Wednesday anymore.

I slowly crawled out of bed and took all the time in the world to get ready for another day in rehab, starting with another lonely Wednesday breakfast.

I grabbed my belongings: purse, phone... Keys? I looked around. _No. Not again. Not now._ Where were my fucking keys? That was the last thing I needed on a Wednesday morning. Why couldn't I just put them somewhere near the door? And why was I such a damn scatterbrain? Annoyed, I sighed heavily and started the frustrating search for my keys.

So wrapped up was I in my in-depth search, I barely noticed the strange sound coming from my door. I hadn't found my keys yet, so I tried to approach the search logically. I started to mentally re-trace my movements from the night before, desperately trying to think of when I had last seen my keys. _God, no idea! How should I know?_ Being inside my room meant that I had last used my keys to open the door. But my keys didn't seem to be inside, so as I was just about to open my door something clanged in front of me - louder than before. It was definitely coming from my door. A sort of metallic sound... Something at the lock... Just like...

"You shouldn't leave your key in the lock," Randy said as I opened my door, the key ring balanced on the tip of his thick pointer finger, the keys dangling in front of my nose.

My keys... And Randy! He stood in the doorway, an amused smile on his face, instead of his usual, rather tough expression.

"What are you doing here?"

A sudden impulse on a gut level, an impulse so much stronger than doubts, mind, will and reluctance, refused to wait for an answer as I wrapped my arms firmly around his neck. Something, some strange but so strong power, had pulled me towards him and I wasn't willing, wasn't able, to fight against it anymore. Fuck the whole distance shit! I was the one who had decided that we should keep a safe distance, so I was the only one who could break and re-write that rule, right?

But slowly doubts began to re-appear, doubts about how he would react to my rapturous greeting. But my doubts, to my relief, were suddenly replaced with excitement as his hand slowly ran up my back. He embraced me. He held me. I thought that he would say something, at the very least, he could have answered my question. Or maybe I should have said something, I could have at least tried to explain or apologize for my sudden behaviour. But neither of us said a single word, and with my eyes closed, I slowly gave in to the warm, tingly feeling that his embrace caused.

And as his embrace became closer still, the feeling slowly spreading all over me. I could hear him breathing, I could feel his skin, I could whisper in his ear.

"Why are you back already? I thought you're due back till this afternoon."

"There wasn't so much work for me to do after all. They allowed some extra time because of the injury, but in the end, it wasn't necessary."

I heard his answer, his words, but I wasn't really listening. I was too busy listening to his breathing as I enjoyed all the things that I had missed so much for such a long time. He was holding me close and the warmth of his body surrounded me before his voice gently brought back the Wednesday morning easiness I always had with him.

"And I just thought that it would be nice to have breakfast with you."

* * *

"Wait! Just a second."

I gave Randy's arm a knee-jerking grab as we passed the rehab center's noticeboard. He didn't seem to be interested, but I wanted to take a quick look at just in case anything had changed that would affect me. Randy kept standing in the corridor as I let go of his arm and stepped closer towards the board.

And I saw that something really had changed...

_This week? Ah, of course... _I had completely forgotten. Jess, my aqua physiotherapist, had told me that she had this week off. She had definitely told me, but due to my scatterbrain, I had forgotten. So this week, they had to assign me to another physiotherapist. Who was I assigned to? My eyes quickly scanned the bulletin until I finally saw the answer in writing: Josh. Randy's therapist.

Silently, I stared at the board, taking my time to realize the meaning of the information presented to me: another aqua therapy session with Randy.

"See something interesting?" Randy asked impatiently, but obviously realizing that there was a reason why a quick look had turned into intense studying.

_You could say so..._

"Erm..." I could hardly conceal the fact from him. "It looks like we'll have therapy together."

"Really? When?"

The sound of his voice revealed that he obviously was looking forward to it. I could hear surprised joy and I thought, or at least imagined, a hint of anticipation in it too. But I was sure that this wouldn't last very long, most likely when he discovered not only who it was with, but also the nature of the therapy.

I hadn't answered his question yet because I was still thinking about how I could tell him. But obviously he didn't want to wait for my answer and drew nearer until I felt his body against mine. He laid his hand on my shoulder and let it slowly run down my arm until his hand reached mine. His fingers gently wrapped around my hand and he took my pointer finger softly between the rough tips of his fingers. He lifted my hand up and put my finger where my name was printed on the bulletin. He moved my hand over the schedule, from my name to the days of the week and finally to the sessions. My finger stopped abruptly as it reached my Wednesday aqua session. There it was, printed in thick red, with added exclamation marks and with Josh's name written beside it in brackets. I felt Randy's hand clench around mine as he realized our predicament.

"Today."

I couldn't figure out the way Randy said it. Everything I had heard in his voice before seemed to be gone. The only thing that was still left was the surprise, but now mixed with uneasiness and somehow, helplessness. Even though I had expected that his opinion about having therapy together would change when he knew that it was aqua therapy, I was surprised about how much it changed. But I wasn't able to figure out the way it had changed. His tone wasn't exactly positive, but it didn't sound negative either. I just got the feeling that he was torn. Or why else, if he really didn't want to have the therapy session together with me, would he still hold my hand and stand so close behind me that his body touched mine?

I was irritated but nevertheless I unfortunately could understand him better than I wanted to because I was feeling the same. I had no idea what to think. I was as surprised as he was and I didn't know if I liked it or not. Why, of all sessions, was it an aqua session? We hadn't had an aqua session together since _that _aqua session. I tried to balance the possibilities but I didn't get very far. My mind was already playing very mean tricks on me.

_Randy. In only that piece of material that didn't leave much to the imagination. Our first kiss. His lips were salty from the water in the hot brine springs pool and I was just wondering if his skin would taste the same when covered in sweat. His hands..._

Out of the corner of my eye, something moved, pulling me back from my thoughts. Randy was just about to let go of my suddenly shaking hand but I quickly grabbed his fingers and exhaled heavily before I turned around and leant against the board. I didn't dare look at him because I was afraid of what I might possibly see in his face. I didn't want this stupid exercise session to have any influence on us or what was just about to grow between us again. So I looked down at our hands and watched our fingers gently caress each other before he took my hand into his once more. I still avoided his look but I could already feel his eyes on me and I knew that he was waiting for me to look at him too.

A calm smile met my questioning gaze, but his voice sounded nervous as he answered the unspoken question that hung in the air.

"I... Y'know... They're not expecting me back till later... So I'm sure that they've planned therapy without me... So I guess it's better if I don't appear... Just... Just because of the organization and that... So I probably won't be there..."

It was a plausible explanation but it didn't sound very honest or convincing. It just _sounded_ plausibel. And the expression on his face and the way he held my hand suggested that he wasn't convinced either by his own words.

My heart was in my mouth as I sighed with a hint of disappointment which I wasn't able to hide.

"Yeah, I know... They're very fussy here with their schedules and planning and organization and everything. Maybe... Maybe it's better if you..." I paused and looked down at my hand in his. "... if you don't appear," I finally whispered.

I didn't want to say it. I really thought that it might be better if he didn't appear but to speak it out loud felt like a lie.

All I could do was hope that the expression on my face and the way I held his hand, suggested that I wasn't really convinced of what I had just said either.

* * *

With my exercise belt in hand, I continuously walked up and down at the pool edge, my eyes not moving from the entrance door. Randy hadn't said anything more about the session and I still wasn't sure if I wanted him to appear or not. He hadn't appeared at the hot brine springs pool yet and so I was resigned to waiting.

As the door opened, I immediately grabbed my belt and pretended to be so busy with it so as to appear unaware that someone was entering the room. But out of the corner of my eye, I observed the door the whole time. When I saw that it was only Josh, I groaned in frustration. Josh just meant more waiting.

"You look like as if you had expected someone else."

Was it _that_ obvious, even though I had tried to be anything but obvious?

"No, no... Nobody in particular... Just anybody, really. I mean, any other patients who might be joining us..."

"Then you could have a long wait. There are no others today."

"No one else?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm, casual, almost disinterested in an attempt to hide my desperation for the information on whether Randy would be joining us or not.

"No. It sounds like you're disappointed to have a private exercise session with me," he smiled, his eyebrows raised in surprise, his voice inquisitive.

I wanted to force a smile, but surprisingly it wasn't necessary. An honest smile appeared all on its own on my lips and I exhaled in silent relief. I had my answer, the answer Randy didn't give me, and that meant that waiting was over anyway.

"I'll be right back..."

With that said, Josh disappeared again and I began to prepare myself for my session. I wrapped my belt around my hips and closed the buckle behind my back but it immediately chaffed awkwardly against my skin. Grabbing the belt, I felt that it was skewed. So I tried to open the buckle again but it refused to cooperate. I wanted to pull the buckle round to my front to see what the problem was, but pulling at the belt was so painful on my back that I immediately stopped. A few more desperate attempts to open the damn buckle were unsuccessful.

I needed help and as I heard the door open again, I looked over to it in anticipation of seeing _him_. But, of course, it was only Josh. So I had to be satisfied with him.

"Josh..." I whined as I looked at the only one who was there to help me.

"What have you done?" he asked, smiling, even though one look at my belt probably superseded any further explanation.

"Somehow, I've skewed my belt and now I can't unclip it anymore!"

"Let me see then."

I turned around and Josh pressed the buckle - like I hadn't tried that before. And, of course, nothing happened, like nothing had happened when I had tried to do the same only moments before. He pressed it again but this time he carefully pulled it too. But again, nothing happened.

"It looks like it got jammed but it shouldn't be this difficult to un-do..."

He kneeled down behind me and tried everything to open the buckle again. He pressed, pulled and joggled. At first, he was gentle, but as he got more frustrated, his attempts gathered strength and force. But every single attempt had the same result: nothing.

"Just one last attempt before I'll go and get tools," Josh sighed, obviously annoyed, before he pulled hard on the belt.

"Ow..." I cried out.

I stumbled back against him and his hands automatically grasped my lower back, to stop me from falling on top of him.

"Is this a new therapy exercise?" Randy suddenly asked, his voice much deeper than usual, almost threatening in fact.

Josh let go of me immediately and stepped back hastily.

"Randy. I didn't expect to see you at therapy today."

"I can see that."

I looked over my shoulder and saw Randy standing a few feet behind us. His shoulders were pulled back and his chest was puffed out. He had folded his arms across his chest and his hands were pushed under his upper arms, making his thick, strong muscles more prominent than usual. And it wasn't just his arms that looked more muscular. Every one of his muscles appeared to be tensed and I could almost see his whole body pulsing. With his neck stretched long and taut and his body pulled up to his full height, he towered behind us. His narrowed eyes were cold and piercing, as he looked down at us. It took me a moment to realize that he wasn't staring at me. He seemed to be just staring at Josh and his hands, and the expression on his face very similar to that when he had heard how Adam had injured me.

He made a pretty daunting figure as he stood there almost stock-still. His eyes only wandered over to me once and when he looked at me, it didn't feel cold or unemotional. I almost felt the same calm I had felt when he had held me in his arms that same morning. His welcomed look made me smile and even though the expression on his face didn't change, I saw his eyes smiling back at me before he continued staring Josh into the ground.

I was wondering what he aimed to achieve with his strange demeanor but whatever it was, he obviously achieved it.

"The belt... I'll have to go get a nipper pliers then," Josh said quickly, trying to explain the situation as he quickly made his exit.

Randy's eyes followed Josh as he walked out of the room and when he was finally gone, he let out an audible breath. It was full of relief and he didn't attempt to hide it from me. And in that one breath, all the tension seemed to escape from his body too. He let his hands slip out from under his arms, the expression on his face became softer and his eyes were full of emotion once again.

"What was he doing?" he asked, a hint of reproachfulness in his voice and his gaze resentful, almost scowling. Definitely not the emotions I was expecting.

"What were you doing?"

"I've heard you in pain. I thought that he had hurt you and I just wanted to make sure that he keeps his hands off you."

_Awwwwwww... _

I tried to keep my expression neutral, but my thoughts spread through my features, and my lips slowly formed into a small, slightly ashamed smile. Our eyes met and I saw that his expression had changed once again and his eyes were now filled with concern.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, sure."

"So..." His voice became grumpy again and I knew instantly that there was still something preying on his mind. "Why did he need to put his hands on your butt?"

"His hands weren't on my butt!" I stared at him indignantly, not quite believing that he had even contemplated asking me that.

_It's still my butt and I decide about who has his hands on it!_

But I couldn't deny that I appreciated his interest in my butt, even though I didn't recognize the purpose of his question... At first anyway. But my indignation didn't last very long. Realization dawned on me and I couldn't help but let a smirk flicker around the corners of my mouth. He really thought that Josh had his hands on my butt and that _bothered_ him?

Even though I didn't owe Randy an explanation, I wanted him to know the truth.

"Something's wrong with my belt and he was only helping me because no one else was here."

I didn't mean to sound reproachful too, but the expression on his face left me in no doubt that he felt guilty about the whole situation.

"I tried as quickly as I could to clarify the situation with therapy today, but they only just told me that I could join the session 20 minutes ago," he was apologetic as he tried to explain the situation. "Well..." he smiled. "Now there's someone else in here. So if you still want some help... I'm here..."

"The buckle's jammed," I simply said with an approving smile as I turned my back and the troublesome buckle to him.

I expected that he would grab the buckle and try to open it, and when necessary, use brute force to pull it apart. But what I didn't expect were his fingers running so damn gently over my skin.

"You already have a red mark on your back."

His fingers brushed against the tender spot and I winced briefly at his touch.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

He immediately removed his fingers.

_Don't stop..._

"No, you didn't. It just stings a bit but there's nothing to worry about."

I heard the door close and the sound of quick footsteps approaching. Randy and I turned to see Josh coming back with the nipper pliers and a second belt. When Josh reached us, Randy stepped purposely behind me, putting himself between Josh and me, giving him no chance to get closer to me again.

"What do you need the pliers for?" Randy asked, his voice dripping with disdain as he grabbed the buckle.

I felt him twist it firmly until I heard plastic split and the belt finally loosen.

"I actually didn't want to break the buckle," Josh commented Randy's tactics.

"I actually didn't want to waste any more time with useless attempts while she's in pain because of the fucking belt," Randy was already seething again, as he threw the belt over to Josh. "At least I was successful with opening it at the first try," concluded Randy, a little too confidently, as if he was trying to hide the arrogance in his voice.

Randy was standing there with his chest pushed forward like it was swollen with pride, his chin lifted up haughtily and a bright, triumphant grin on his face, as he cast a superior look over Josh.

Pride? Triumphant? What the hell was he doing again? He was behaving like he had just saved the world. Well... He had released me from my predicament, but it was just a fucking plastic buckle. What did he expect? _God... _

"It was probably easier to open the buckle with dry hands," Josh said, looking resigned as he cast his gaze over the broken buckle.

_Guys!_

I rolled my eyes and shook my head uncomprehendingly, as I grabbed the spare belt but before I could close the buckle, I felt two hands grabbing the ends for me.

"If you don't mind... I don't want you to get hurt again."

* * *

I sat on the pool edge and watched Randy doing his exercises as I took a break from my aqua jogging session. The little incident with my belt had distracted me so much that it was the first time that I looked at Randy in a way that I had promised myself I wouldn't - I looked at him with lust. Even though the water came up to his neck and his movements disturbed the stillness of it, I could almost make out his half-naked body. I didn't want to look anywhere else and I didn't try it neither at all.

"Randy, you're released for today. Same procedure as before," Josh said as he went to adjust the pool base for the second part of my therapy session.

Randy threw his sponge barbells somewhere outside the pool as he slowly came over to me. Without saying a word, he hauled himself out of the water with ease and settled next to me.

"Is your bruise okay?" he asked as he leant back to take a look.

Without saying anything, I turned around and leant forward to show him my back, silently inviting him to touch me again. For a moment, nothing happened but then Randy moved closer, accepting my invitation. His fingers slowly ran over my back, taking his sweet time to reach the mark. As he finally touched the sensitive spot, I quivered again. His hand stopped and hesitated before his touch moved away from the mark but continued caressing my back.

"Maybe you should put some ointment on it," he said quietly.

With a smile, I looked over my shoulder. Randy smiled back but before I could say something, the sound of the door drew his attention to Josh. I felt his hand on my back, slowly gliding down to the floor so he could prop himself up as he leant towards me, making me shiver with his whisper.

"Your exercises..." he moved his lips so close to my ear that they touched the sensitive skin. "I'd like to stay here while you're doing them."

Surprised, I turned my head, my nose almost grazing his as I looked into his eyes. I could detect a strange seriousness in them, as he waited for me to agree. Unsure but curious as to the reason behind his words, I nodded.

"Good," he smiled.

"Good?"

"So I can pay close attention to Josh and make sure he doesn't put his hands somewhere they don't belong in therapy."

Groaning, but with a smirk on my lips, I let myself slide back into the pool and waited for Josh to join me in the water. As we started with my therapy program, all I wanted to do was focus on my exercises but suddenly my eyes didn't want to obey me anymore. Randy was sitting on the pool edge, presenting me with his best side and therefore making it impossible for me to concentrate on anything else except him. I really tried to concentrate on Josh and the exercises but whenever I was able to take my eyes off Randy, I found them on him again just few moments later.

And Randy answered every one of my looks with a smile. Whenever I looked at him there was an agreeable, almost inviting, smile on his lips - almost the same smile that I had given him when he'd looked at me in the gym a few days ago. My mouth became dry but his reaction seemed to be unequivocal and with a much more self-confident look, my eyes wandered over to him once again, looking at him longer and with more intensity than before.

And he was looking at me too, of course. No surprise. He had announced that he would look, constantly checking out the behaviour of Josh's hands. But I noticed that not all of his looks were aimed at Josh's hands. And observing Josh's hands meant observing me too, probably a welcomed side effect for Randy.

For the last set of exercises, I held myself tight on the handles in the pool as my body drifted in the water. Josh grabbed my leg to check its flexibility and to help me with some movements. His hands ran over my leg, alternating his grip and movements until he stepped in front of me and laid my leg on his shoulder.

His hands moved smoothly along my thigh, searching for the right grip for the following movement. Randy's eyes were stuck on Josh's hands, watching how his fingers pressed into my flesh as he lifted my leg up. Randy's hand moved to his lips, his fingers running over them until he wiped the corners of his mouth, toying with his lips, pressing and pulling nervously on them. And when Josh's hands left my thigh, Randy's eyes were still there.

"Your leg looks good. Huge progress," Josh said as he bent my knee. "We can leave it for today."

Josh left the water and I swam slowly over to Randy, enjoying looking at him and enjoying his eyes on me as I got nearer. When I reached him he got up and offered his hand to help me out of the pool. Smiling, I placed my hand on his and with a solid swing, much stronger than I had expected, he pulled me out. And not only out. The energy of his swing pulled me close towards him. With a puzzled look in my eyes but an appreciating smile on my lips I stumbled into his arms, pressing my hands against his chest to cushion the swing.

"The thing with the ointment..." I whispered. "I guess I can need some help with it."


	14. What's left?

**Disclaimer: ...**

**Thanks for reading :-D**

**Beta: What's left to say? rkolove, you're simply the best beta anyone can have. I'm proud and honoured that you're **_**MY**_** beta. I wouldn't want anyone else. You're the icing on the cake for this story. Time doesn't have any meaning, and that not just in rehab ;-P Love ya!**

**Everyone enjoy :-)**

* * *

Some things are so different, _feel_ so damn different, are so much better, when they were done to you by someone else...

And what these hands were doing could never have been imitated...

_These hands..._

Sighs and groans broke the silence every now and then, slipping from my mouth, as I enjoyed the best part of therapy - a full body massage in the spa.

Completely naked, I laid on the massage table, with only a small towel to cover my modesty, as my masseuse, Sarah, kneaded all the stress, tension, sorrows and useless thoughts out of my body. Only Randy refused to leave my mind...

I hadn't seen him the whole damn day which meant that I hadn't seen him since we had left the pool area the evening before.

He had brought me back to my room and I thought that it was obvious that I wanted him to come in, letting the evening slowly fade away on a cozy note. And after what had happened at the pool, I thought that he wanted it too, but he made no move to come in. Instead, he explained that he'd had a long day and that it might be better if he left. He really did look tired and even though I was sure that I could have revived his animalistic tendencies, I accepted with a simple nod. If I had said anything my disappointment probably would have been even more obvious than it already was. With a close and tight embrace we wished each other a good night, not letting go of each other for what felt like an eternity, as he promised that we would make up for that evening soon.

"So...", Sarah ripped me out of my thoughts, her hands moving slowly, but firmly over my back for the final time. "We're done for today."

"You are. Not me," I sighed.

"I've already extended the massage time - you really seemed to need it. But we're definitely going to make a new appointment for you."

With a comfortable sigh, I waited for her to suggest a date for our next appointment. Actually, I was waiting for the 'same place, same time' phrase she used every week when it was time to talk about our next appointment. But surprisingly she kept quiet for an unusually long time.

"I can't find my calendar. I must have left it in my office. I'll just go and get it. Sorry."

I remained where I was, my body way too relaxed to move from the massage table, and listened to the door opening and Sarah leaving. Actually, it was pretty good to have a few minutes on my own before being thrown out because the next patient was waiting. Some time for me to relax in silence before I slowly started preparing myself to leaving. Naked as I was, I pulled the tiny towel from my butt and slowly sat up just as the door opened again. I was looking around for my large towel, my mind too preoccupied with my search to pay any attention to the door.

_Sarah? Really? You must have flied, girl!_

"Sorry," someone mumbled.

It was definitely _not_ Sarah, sounding like a guy with a deep voice. I quickly grabbed the towel, holding it up to my chin as I tried to cover my naked body. I expected that the guy would immediately leave but he made no move to leave a room that contained a naked woman.

The mixture of amazement and slowly emerging irritation disappeared as I looked over to the door. Randy stood in the massage room, swathed only in a bath robe.

"I'm sorry. The door was open, so I didn't think anyone would be in here."

"It's okay," I said relaxing, even though 'okay' was definitely an understatement as I looked at him in his bath robe.

A bath robe... _Only _a bath robe? I was desperately trying not to think about what was under that robe. He was looking forward to getting a massage. So I guessed that he was probably wearing the same under his bath robe as I was wearing under my towel. Nothing. Absolutely nothing? I was determined not to let my mind run away with me, knowing that any second, he would turn and leave - leaving me alone without an explicit answer about his bath robe and its _contents_.

But to my surprise, and delight, he gave the door a shove and it shut with a clunk. His absolutely welcomed decision elicited a whimsical smile from me.

"Y'know... Yesterday evening..." An almost devilish smirk appeared on his face, telling me that he was up to something, telling me that I was in _trouble_. The kind of trouble I liked to be in. "I guess I still owe you something."

"Well..." I slipped slowly down from the massage table. "I think so too, but I guess it was more your loss than mine because..." I stopped mid-sentence with the intention of turning the tables on him, showing him the trouble he was definitely in, as I looked down at my towel.

Smiling seductively, I let it slide down, slowly exposing my bare shoulders, never taking my eyes from him as I let one of my hands wander to my oily shoulder. With tender movements, my fingers absorbed the massage oil before they slid smoothly over my collarbone, drawing a circle around the hollow of my throat and leaving a glistening trail over my bare skin.

I watched every little reaction, every little impulse in his face as I let my towel slip further, so that it barely covered my decollete. My oily fingers began to draw circles on my skin, slowly blazing their way to the most tender flesh of a woman's body. With every inch that my fingers came closer to my still-hidden breasts, I increased the pressure until they moved little oily waves of soft flesh back and forth.

And Randy's eyes followed every single wave.

"You said... That you owed me something..." I bit my lip. "So... What did you think of?"

Before he could even answer, my mind was already going to over-drive at the thought of how he was going to compensate me and I found myself staring at the knot of material that held his bath robe together. And he saw me staring at his bath robe too. Shooting him a telling glance and a not-so-subtle smile, I waited for him to do something. With a mixture of impatience and excited nervousness, I started to bite on the tip of my little finger as my eyes stayed fixedly on him, waiting for his next move. And indeed he did move, but in a different way from what I had expected; he slowly started to walk over to me.

When he was within reach, my hand stretched out for the belt of his bath robe, hooking my fingers through it and pulling Randy impatiently closer to me. The tension in the room was strained, the air could have been cut with a knife and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he felt it too. He slowly raised his hand and his fingertips touched my shoulder. I was barely able to bear the shiver that immediately ran through my body. Instead, I closed my eyes and let my head drop to the side, confirming the pleasure his slightest touch gave me. Obviously elated by my reaction, his fingers began to explore further, running all over my exposed skin, enticing, willing, begging me to do the same to him.

I opened my eyes, watching my hand slowly run over his bath robe, up to his chest where it slipped softly between the overlapping material until my fingers touched his chest. They gently rediscovered all the details, because after such a long time of abstinence, it felt like I was discovering him for the very first time. But I wanted more, I wanted to know, I wanted to see what was at the mercy of my hands and my hands only. My eyes wanted their fair share of him too. Seemingly uncontrollably, my hand grabbed the neck of his bath robe and pulled it aside until the smooth grooves of his chest were exposed. My eyes gorged on the feast before me, my hand almost trembled in excitement as I started to caress the bare skin and my mind was screaming uncontrollably at me...

_More..._

I tried to give him best sexy, come-to-bed eyes as I started to turn in his arms, slowly showing him my uncovered backside. His fingers touched my neck, slowly running down my spine as my arms fell to my side, pulling the towel away from my body at the same time. I could hear him breathing in sharply, maybe even in delight. I could hear him holding his breath for a moment. I could feel him on my skin breathing out slowly. He had stepped closer to me, so close that his breath covered me, letting me know that his lips were close. I looked over my shoulder, curious to see him, his reaction and what he would do next. It was his turn, his move. The same curious expression graced his features as he gazed back at me, not breaking the eye contact as his fingers found the knot in the belt of his bath robe and began to un-ravel it.

Delighted and overwhelmed with unadulterated lust at his actions, my impatience went into over-drive and I couldn't wait a single second longer. I grabbed his free hand, leading it to my bare body, desperate to feel him on me once more, to show him what I liked, when all of a sudden and without warning, the door flew open.

_Shit!_ A little cry of dismay escaped my lips. I had been so wrapped up in the moment that I had completely forgotten that Sarah would be coming back at any moment. The irritated surprise on Randy's face revealed that he obviously didn't expect any interruption at all.

Reluctantly, we let go of each other and I quickly wrapped the towel around my body.

"Sorry that I took so long..." Sarah started to explain her long absence but she stopped when she saw Randy.

"Sorry," he said quickly. "I just got here a moment ago. I didn't know that someone was still in here."

"We're almost ready but please, wait outside until we're completely finished."

My face felt warm and I was sure that I was blushing just a little bit as I watched Randy fumbling with his half-open, not open enough for me, bath robe.

We shared a smile, full of amusement, disappointment and bashfulness before he turned to leave.

Seemingly innocent, I put my own bath robe on and pulled the towel from underneath, before I started to grab my stuff, all the while, feeling Sarah's suspicious gaze on me.

"Next week? Same time, same place?" I asked in an attempt to hurry her into booking the next appointment.

She thumbed through her calender. "Yeah, that fits good."

"Alright. Anything else?" I asked, already heading towards the door as she wrote something into her calender.

"On the run today?" she smirked.

"On the prowl, more like," I grinned with a wink as I literally dashed out of the room.

Randy was leaning against the wall close to the door, looking at me like he was already waiting for me. But I took a moment to listen to my own breathing, trying to control it, to calm myself and hide my excitement, before I slowly approached him, desperate to look relaxed and at ease with the situation. But I couldn't stop smiling and I just couldn't stop looking.

When I stood in front of him, I slowly rose onto my tiptoes, leaning my body purposely against his.

"Do you want to meet later, once you're done here?" I whispered sweetly into his ear.

I expected a yes because it was just obvious what was going on. There was nothing left to hide anymore. We both felt it, we both knew it and, most importantly, we both _wanted_ it. At least that was what I thought before I heard an almost desperate sigh.

"I was afraid that you would ask that."

"Um... Okay..." I stammered, confused, as I sank back onto my feet and took a step back, feeling the embarrassing heat in my face again. He had obviously just rebuffed me. "Then we'd better just forget that I asked at all."

"What?" Now he was the one looking confused. "No... I mean..." he wrapped his arm around me and I let him pull me towards him, despite of myself.

Suddenly he grinned, a cheeky expression all over his face.

"God, Braeden, I wanna meet you," he whispered. "But I have my weekly medical tests early tomorrow morning. I just think that it's probably not a very good idea for us to meet tonight."

I smiled, relieved, as I wrapped my arms around his body. "I didn't think there would be an acceptable excuse. But this one is pretty good."

He ran his hand over my hair as he looked at me with a mixture of hesitation and hopefulness.

"So... You're not mad at me?"

"A bit."

An afflicted expression replaced the hope on his face.

"But..." I continued as I rose onto my tiptoes again. "I can think of one or two things you can do to make it up to me."

He smirked. "Do you want me to guess what it is?"

My mouth came up to his ear, my lips closed around his earlobe, my teeth gently tugging at the tender skin.

"You can find out by trying."

The sound of my own voice surprised me. I hadn't heard myself like that for a while, sounding so dirty and aroused and I hated to admit it, but I didn't only _sound_ like that. Hot breath hit my skin and a quiet, but lustful moan echoed around my head. Obviously I wasn't the only one.

"Tomorrow." He tried to pull himself together as I was reluctant to let go of his earlobe. "After my tests." His eyes moved hastily back and forth as he thought of an acceptable suggestion. "Lunch?"

"Lunch?" I cleared my throat.

My voice still didn't sound like normal and I tried to insinuate that 'lunch' wasn't his best suggestion ever, or at least, not what I wanted him to suggest to me.

"Just come around and we'll see. Maybe we'll find something else?"

* * *

I wiped my sweaty hands over my jeans. After a long night, partly sleepless, partly permeated by wild dreams, my impatience was at boiling point. And thanks to my dreams, it wasn't just my impatience as I stood in front of Randy's door once more.

"Hi, I was waiting for you." He sounded and even _looked_ aggrieved.

I had expected a completely different greeting, but after a short moment of confusion I became seriously concerned.

"Is everything alright?" I asked worried, the endless possibilities already racing through my mind.

"So far, yes, but..." he looked like something was torturing him. "Come in."

I immediately noticed that his room looked very different than usual. Actually it looked like a bomb had hit it. A few heaps of obviously dirty laundry were piled up in a corner as if he had started to sort through it, but had got distracted halfway through. And more clothes were lying on his bed. But these were folded and looked unworn. I wanted to take a seat but there were piles of books, DVDs and CDs on the couch. As I walked slowly over to the only free chair, I stopped. Beside the bed, I saw his open suitcase lying on the floor.

"What are you doing?"

Not that it wasn't obvious enough but I refused to believe my own eyes.

"Braeden," he sighed in low spirits. "I have to tell you something."

He walked over to the couch and made room to sit down. But I didn't want to sit anymore, I just wanted him to tell me, I just wanted him to say it. When I refused to move he took my hand and dragged me softly with him to the couch.

"Please..." he slowly sat down.

I didn't say anything. I just pulled my hand away as I sat next to him and watched him closely.

"I... I will..." he stammered, his fingers running nervously over his short hair. "Shit. I actually had hoped that you would be first and that you would have to do this. But I definitely thought that this would be easier."

"Randy..." I sighed, barely able to ask because I was afraid of his answer. "What?"

"Telling you... That I will be leaving rehab."

I stared silently at him, trying to understand what he meant.

"Like before?" I asked, desperately hoping that he would be coming back, that this wasn't the final goodbye as I suspected.

"No. I mean, my arm... I don't have to stay here, in rehab, any longer." In one breath, he destroyed my last ray of hope.

Silence.

I felt a lump in my throat. Breathing became suddenly so much harder as my chest felt like it was about to collapse. I couldn't speak, I couldn't think and I couldn't feel anymore. I felt nothing.

The news hit me completely by surprise - it was absolutely unexpected and I was absolutely unprepared. I knew that this day would come, of course, but that day still seemed to be so far away. I had completely lost all sense of time because time didn't seem to have any meaning in rehab. Rehab seemed to be a little galaxy all on its own and it felt like you were caught in a time warp. Everything repeated on itself, even though not every day in itself was like the other but the course of the days were always the same, and the weeks repeated almost exactly, day by day, week by week, again and again. Rehab simply had its own calculation of time. And this calculation of time didn't seem to include an end. But it had an end and in this moment, reality took hold of me, of us, again.

"When?" I blurted out.

He sighed. "Monday."

"Monday? But... That's so soon. Why didn't you say anything before?"

"I just got the news this morning. I had no idea that I was in for my discharge. They didn't say anything about a possible discharge before. It was a complete surprise even for me. If I had known anything before I would've told you."

Silence again. So many thoughts, so many questions ran through my mind but I didn't want to hear any explanations, excuses, answers... I needed a break, I needed distraction, I needed to break out of this.

"What..." I stammered. "What did you actually have to do at work?"

Confused, he looked at me but obviously sensed pretty quickly that I needed my attention to be diverted.

"Um... Do you wanna see some photos?"

"Yeah sure. I wanna know what you've been doing the last few days," I said as I moved closer to him.

He grabbed his phone, opened the main image menu and then a file that contained umpteen pictures. He thumbed slowly through the photos and told me whatever there was to say about a picture and its making of. I smiled when I saw Nat and Gismo on the screen but suddenly Randy started to flip extremely quickly through the following photos.

"Nah... You don't need to see this... Oh... Better not..."

"Hey," I grabbed his hand. "Do you have something to hide? I wanna see."

"Jeez no."

"No, you have nothing to hide or no, you don't want me to see?" I smiled.

He smirked suggestively as he pulled his phone away. He had just piqued my curiosity and I immediately tried to grab the phone but he left me no chance. In an attempt to reach it, somehow I crawled onto his lap but, because of his long arms, my attempt was doomed to failure right from start. He held his phone provocatively, straight in front of my nose and as I tried to grab it, he pulled away again with an amused grin on his face. He was having way too much fun teasing me for my liking. _You better not push this too far, my friend._ I bristled with contempt, but he simply answered with a deep, hard laugh. He was making fun of me! What an ass!

"You don't want me to hurt you, right?" I threatened, my voice low and deadly serious.

I thought I would have to administer first-aid to him. He almost collapsed with laughter, gasping for air, probably close to hyperventilating, his face turned a deep shade of red. Even when he accidentally choked on his own spittle, causing a coughing fit, he didn't stop laughing... And it didn't make him put down his hand which would've made it so much easier for me to finally grab his damn phone. But my chances did just soar ever so slightly.

I knelt on his thighs, making sure my injured leg was out of the potential danger zone. Pressing my body with its full weight against him, I grabbed his forearm with both hands, pulling as hard as I could. Suddenly and unexpectedly, his arm sagged. Actually, I had expected that pulling on his arm as hard as I could wouldn't be hard enough and in my surprise, I forgot to stop pulling, almost losing my balance in the process. Randy's arm wrapped around my waist and pulled my body back against his, my body slowly sliding down him with my hip pressed against his chest. My fingers ran over his arm as my breasts grazed his shoulder before I finally slumped onto his lap.

His face was still red, but that just emphasized his steel blue eyes - such a deep blue, with a glint of something that I couldn't quite put my finger on. He was still breathing flat and heavily, every one of his gasps hitting my skin like little thrusts which made me tremble. Smiling, we looked at each other and from one second to the next the mood completely changed. What had been fun a second before had turned into something serious... Very serious.

"Braeden..." he whispered as his hand burrowed into my hair, gently holding my head as his lips started to kiss my brow.

I closed my eyes, just feeling his lips on my face as his kisses wandered slowly down my temple. His nose touched my face, following the trail that his lips blazed. I wrapped my arms around his neck, running my fingers over his skin and leaning my head into his kisses. His lips crossed my cheek but just as the side of his lips grazed mine, they stopped. His mouth rested just next to mine. It was just one last move to make. And he left it to me.

He would leave rehab soon. More precisely: he would leave in less than three days. So we still had some time left before he left. We still had two and half days... And three nights. So it was up to us what we made of it.

His lips were so damn close, a kiss just a split second away, but we wouldn't stick to just a kiss. Quite the opposite in fact. A kiss would just be the beginning. But what was the point of it? Especially in this situation? Under these circumstances? What was the point in starting something with him again? God, this wasn't about sense but he would definitely leave and everything we would do until he left would just make the goodbye worse. We hadn't been this close for such a long time. Even though I wanted to have him so close again, I was already used to not having him close to me anymore. It was okay. Really. You get accustomed to everything, right? Someday at least, so they say. Whatever we had before was already long gone. It was over. But could it really be over when we were lying in each others arms just waiting for _that_ liberating but torturous kiss?

In two days he would leave rehab. And me.

"Don't..." I whispered, more pleading than prompting, as I turned my head to the side. His lips still touched my face as he exhaled abruptly, lowering his head and leaning his forehead against my cheek. His fingers carefully untangled themselves from my hair and his arm around my waist loosened its grip as I took my arms from his neck and slipped down from his lap.

I hesitated for a moment, unsure about what I should do next. I couldn't keep on sitting there next to him like nothing had happened. Seemingly, the only possibility was to go. So I stood up wordlessly and took my crutches. I was sure that my actions didn't need to be commented on.

"I'd rather have lunch on my own," I said quietly, even though I wasn't hungry anymore.

"Okay..."

I turned to leave.

"Braeden..."

My hand rested on the door handle but I didn't turn around. Whatever he wanted, he should've just said it so that I could finally leave.

"Will we still see each other before Monday?"

I opened the door and went out, leaving him alone with the only thing that was left to say. "Maybe."


	15. Tides: Flood Part 1

**Disclaimer: ...**

**Dear wonderful readers, good things come to those who wait ;-) Thanks a lot for your patience.**

**Adds: It makes me very happy to be added to your favs/alerts. Thanks.**

**Special thanks to my beta, rkolove: Best in the world at everything you do. So the Oscar and the Nobel prize are reserved for you. Just a mere formality :-) Thank you!**

* * *

Not till the orange glimmer of the setting sun finally fell through my window and reflected off the screen, did I realize how late in the day it really was. The sun had wandered deep down on the horizon and shared its last light of the day with me. Soon the sparse light of the dusk wouldn't suffice anymore and everything would slowly become immersed in the darkness. Only the light of the screen gave me and the room a cold, white-blue shimmer.

I wanted to put the standard-lamp on, but hesitated for a moment. I wasn't sure if I wouldn't prefer sitting alone in the dark, and that no ray of light would give away my presence.

_What a load of bullshit. As if I could suddenly become invisible... _

But I wished I could, at least for a little while.

I decided on the standard-lamp but dimmed the light down so far that just a warm yellow shine mixed with the colours of the setting sun and overlapped the uncomfortable light of the screen and the muted TV. I shook my head slightly. The TV wasn't useful, not even as a source of light.

The only sounds came from my laptop's ventilator and the radio. I had tuned into a station without talking. No celebrity gossip, no commercials, no traffic information and no news. Just quiet music which prevented a maddening silence.

I looked at the empty white page on the screen. The cursor flashed steadily, patiently waiting for letters, words, sentences. I had started to write a hundred times, a few lines appearing on the page only to be deleted moments later. Fortunately, the time of pen and paper were almost gone. By now, my room would have probably looked like a paper buyback centre with an over-flowing paper basket and countless crumpled pages of paper scattered all over the floor.

But my mind just wasn't able to form coherent sentences for a simple email.

Sighing, I looked up on the TV, and knew immediately why I had turned the sound off. The Sunday evening program was anything but exciting.

Sunday evening, and I still hadn't talked to Randy.

I just didn't want to. I simply didn't know what we still had to talk about. The weather? And obviously, he didn't see any reason for talking either. At least, he hadn't tried to talk to me for the last day and a half. It felt like everything had been said and done. But there was still _something_ and I knew that it wouldn't stop bothering me. I couldn't deny it any longer despite my best efforts.

Sunday evening, and I still hadn't said goodbye.

I really wanted to say goodbye, of course, but I still hadn't found the right moment. Perhaps I had already missed it but deep down, I knew that I was just delaying the inevitable. The truth is that there simply was no right point in time for that. There never is.

Sunday evening, and he was still here.

That meant that I still had some time to think. And that was the worst. Being alone with my thoughts. I just couldn't stop thinking about him and the goodbye, how it would be, how it would feel like, what I should say.

Sunday evening, and the goodbye was close. So close. Too close.

_goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye _

I saw the words appearing on the screen as I moved my fingers over the keys again and again.

"Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye..." My frustrated mumbling seemed to echo around the room.

What was so difficult about that? It was just a goodbye and I had said goodbye countless times before. There was nothing difficult about that. Absolutely nothing.

I smiled at the irony. I really thought that I would be a better liar but it's pretty hard to lie to yourself. Goddammit. It wasn't just a goodbye. It was so much different, so much more. It wasn't the least bit like all the other goodbyes, not even close, except to one other special goodbye. But even though I had been in a similar situation before, it was impossible to compare the two. And in no way did it help to make this any better.

Since I became injured everything had changed. Or I had changed. Who knows? But whatever it was, the result was the same: everything was different. Normally, I had no problems with changes. I handled them with ease, at least as long as I had some kind of control over them. I always trusted myself and my abilities but the whole injury/rehab thing made me doubt my judgement. I was stuck in a situation where I could do nothing but wait, and that was practically a nightmare. I hated it being forced to take things as they come. Having no influence on something usually resulted in utter helplessness. Like now. And this awkward helplessness made me feel like I couldn't even count on myself anymore. Who could I count on then?

Helplessly searching for an answer, I had slowly realized that I had completely lost the control over it all... If I ever had it.

Sunday evening, and there I was, alone with my helplessness, unanswered questions and doubts, surround by a sense of sentimentalism, wallowing in self-pity and being angry with myself. The rehab roller-coaster had accelerated and I just wanted to scream as loud as I could but instead, I whispered.

"Goodbye."

_Again._

"Goodbye," I said firmly.

"Goodbye," I tried to make it sound neutral.

I sighed, becoming more frustrated with every damn attempt.

I stared at the screen, but I didn't look at it. I just stared into the empty space, into the nothingness, with eyes wide open and without blinking. My eyes started to burn but I just couldn't move them. I just couldn't look anywhere else. I just couldn't break out of my own hypnotizing stare. I was caught in it. There was nothing else other than this stare. No thoughts, no movement until a knock at my door finally pulled me out of my trance.

_He_ knocked at _my_ door. I knew immediately that it was him. He had knocked at my door so often that I could already identify his knock. I smiled about this stupid, useless detail before I got up.

"Hey," I smiled reluctantly as I opened the door just enough to look through the gap at Randy. I was hesitant about letting him in. My state of mind was already erratic and his visit didn't help to make that any better.

"Hey."

It sounded so damn soft, his voice low and calm. His smile just slightly but showing honest elation as his sprightly eyes looked at me expectantly.

I watched my fingers sliding nervously and indecisively over the wooden door. "I didn't expect to still see you."

"You didn't expect to see me before I..." he asked, sounding like he wanted to make sure that he got the right meaning of my statement. A stupid misunderstanding was probably the last thing that he wanted to happen.

I shook my head slightly before he had finished his question. He looked like he was glad about not to have to say it out loud, at least not yet anyway. But the realization of my statement took control over his facial expression and his voice.

"Why not?"

His look and the sound of his voice couldn't have been worse if his dog had got run over by a car. And he made me feel like I was the driver but he had no right to do so. It wasn't fair because it wasn't me who should feel guilty. It was him. He was the crash driver and about to hit-and-run.

I pouted. "I hadn't seen you in the last day or so, not since Friday."

"I... Um... I had a lot to do."

"I know."

Sighing, he looked uncomfortably up and down the corridor before he looked me straight in the eye. "Can I come in?"

That look. There was something special about that look. He hadn't looked at me like that very often but I definitely remembered the first time he had. In front of Kev's room. On the couch. As I tried to get rid of him, just like now. And just like then, I failed. That patient look was so strong, so convincing that I automatically stepped aside and pulled the door open.

"I had a lot to do," he repeated. "Because of my sudden discharge. I hadn't bothered about it, until now. And suddenly I had to get everything organized in a day. And I still had exercise sessions." He rubbed his scruff. "After Friday... I wasn't sure if you want to see me again."

"I wasn't sure either."

His voice was quiet. "I don't wanna disturb you for too long."

"You won't," I answered quickly. As I saw his relieved smile, my voice became barely a whisper. "How could you disturb me?"

He sighed. "I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."

There it was. The forbidden word. It was finally spoken out loud and it hung in the air, filling the room. So this was it. The goodbye. It was inescapable. We could just prolong it for as long as we could, but we wouldn't be able to get around it. I still didn't know what, or at least how, to say the obvious.

Still feeling helpless, I decided to stay quiet. Instead, I wrapped my arms around Randy's neck, holding him tight as he returned the hug and pulled my body close to his.

"Goodbye, Randy."

"Braeden... Goodbye..."

That was it. That was all. That was the goodbye. And it was strange.

Slowly, I let go of him with the intent to release the hug. I didn't want to do it but it had to be done. Someone had to do something.

His lips pressed against mine. It came out of nowhere. No question, no answer, no waiting, no decision, especially no decision that was left to me. As his lips met mine for a simple goodbye kiss, I felt that he regretted that he hadn't taken the opportunity before, that he hadn't done it earlier, that he had given me the chance to say no. No question, no answer, no 'no'. Simple and easy.

It was just a simple goodbye kiss. Nothing more, nothing special, nothing with any meaning. Just lips which pressed more and more firmly on each other. Just lips which slowly slipped into each other. Just lips which began to clasp around each other. Just lips which desperately tugged on each other.

Just lips kissing the last kiss.

A beep, well-known to me, disturbed our goodbye.

"Randy..." I breathed, my lips still touching his. "My laptop."

He didn't care that I was talking to him and he couldn't care less about my laptop as his lips caught mine.

"The battery's almost empty," I somehow managed to mumble, as his lips tried to keep me quiet.

I pulled my head back and tried to slip out of his grip. "I have to plug the power pack in..."

As I turned around to hobble over to my laptop, his hand grabbed my forearm. "Just a second."

"I have important files and data..."

Before I could explain why I couldn't risk my laptop running out of energy, it beeped again and with a knee-jerk motion, I tried to pull my arm from his grip, desperate to get to my laptop but for some reason Randy still wouldn't let go of my arm.

My laptop's plea for energy was suddenly replaced by the sound of ripping material. Irritated, I turned back and looked at Randy. Following his gaze, I realized that he was staring, surprised and appalled, at my arm. His fingers had become entangled in the material of my blouse sleeve and were somehow hooked between the buttons.

And my sleeve was ripped up to my elbow.

With his immense motor skills, Randy pulled on his hand, trying to free his fingers impatient, powerful and of course, like most guys, heavy-handed. Before I could say anything, the two tiny buttons, which were holding the rest of my sleeve together, couldn't stand his inept pulling and finally gave in. They were sent flying in an high arc to the floor.

_Clack, clack, clack..._

Randy and I looked down, watching the buttons skipping over the floor before one rolled under the coffee table. The other one rolled around in circles, becoming steadily smaller with every round until it fell and lay motionless on the floor.

Another beep sounded, louder and longer than the previous ones. I knew that this was the last uprising of my laptop, the last call for energy, the beep persistent until it miserably died.

"Randy..." Even though I didn't intend to, the way I said his name aired my displeasure. "I think you should go now," I lowered my eyes, aimlessly running my fingers over the torn sleeve.

"I'm sorry," he said sheepishly, as he knelt down.

I looked at him, hardly believing my eyes as I watched him kneeling on the floor before me, picking up one of the tiny buttons with his thick fingers. He was wearing his usual t-shirt and I could see all the muscles in his arm appearing as he easily pushed the coffee table aside. He bent his head down to look for the other button, revealing more of the tattooed lines that adorned his strong, attractive neck. I felt a strange warmth in my face, the feeling of blushing as my head swayed to the side and I twirled a strand of my hair playfully around my finger, as I continued to watch him kneeling on the floor. And my mind ran away with me.

_Randy... On the floor... In front of me... On his knees..._

"It were just these two?" Randy asked as he got up, the two buttons cupped in his hand.

"Um..." I tried to gather my thoughts. "Yeah, thanks," I smiled embarrassed as I realized what I really was thinking about._  
_

"No need to thank me for ripping your sleeve. Of course, I'll replace it."

"Don't be silly."

"I guess I already was," he smiled weakly as he looked at his hand. "Your buttons."

The two small buttons rested on his huge palm. With an exagerrated sigh but still smiling, he grasped my hand and carefully cupped it like his before he softly covered his hand with mine. The urge of slipping my hand into his and just holding it grew with every second.

Smiling, I watched him turning our hands around until the two buttons fell from his hand into mine. His fingers gently caressed my hand as he let go, leaving me looking at only my hand with two stupid buttons.

"I'm not sure if I still have any use for them."

"Or for your blouse," Randy added. "It would definitely make me feel much better if you just let me pay for it."

"No way. It's just a second-hand blouse and I swear I don't even remember how much I paid for it."

He sighed. And I smiled victoriously. But not for long.

Randy gestured vaguely towards the door. "Then I..."

_I didn't mean it. Don't go._

But there was no turning back.


End file.
